What do you think? I have been diagnosed with kidney cancer. Surgery may be in 3 weeks.?

My brother thinks my adult children should be supportive and take me to the hospital.

My brother is being difficult now.

Thank you to all of you that have responded; you are appreciated.

I'm sorry you have to deal with a frightening medical condition. It happens to almost all of us eventually, but everyone's stress is unique, and it's good that you're expressing yours.

I think your adult children should be supportive, too, but life is full of very many "shoulds" that, when they don't happen, only serve to disappoint us.

In the face of a scary illlness, the scariest part can sometimes be how little control we seem to have over our lives, which is why you see really sick people telling you that "I can do it myself..." etc.

I want to convey to you two things: First, an effective way to ask for help from your adult children, and second, how to feel a little bit more in control of your life. I feel as though conquering those two issues would leave you in the right mindset to deal with your illness.

With your kids...make very specific requests of them, rather than vague ones. "I want you to be supportive" is very hard to fulfill, while "I want you to take me to the hospital and be there when I come out of surgery" is more concrete. Particularly with male children, you'll find that specific requests make more sense to them, and they'll move heaven and earth to make good on what Mom asks of them. Remembering that the kids have their own lives, now, validate the requests. "I know you work very hard where you work, and I'm very proud of you for that, but I need you to take the day off for my surgery..." conveys that you've taken their lives into account and leaves them feeling needed, rather than commanded. If you level with the kids and tell them what you really need, they're going to surprise you.

To feel more in control of things, get on the internet, go to the library, do whatever you're comfortable with, but research the heck out of your condition. Knowledge is power, here. Imagine the conversations you'll be able to have with your doctors if you understand what your condition does or could entail. Imagine how nice it will be when everything isn't a surprise. Imagine how grateful you'll feel when the worst-case-scenarios DON'T develop for you.

I wish you the best during this trying time.

All I can tell you is I will be praying for you that God will help you, your family and friends to get through this difficult time together. My prayer are with you. Have you got a second opinion? Report It

Aww, All my prayers and good thoughts to you.

I think it would be a good idea if you has surgery as soon as possible, and I know when my Grandmother had her surgery ( for breast cancer ) the DR. said that having family there lifted her spirits and it made her vitals more stable.

good luck and best wishes to you...god bless..

I don't understand the question.
Are you asking whether you should have the surgery?

read romans 8;28 mark 11;23-26 God will be your rearguard, may your confidence in him uphold you, He is a keeper, mind regulator and he shall supply your needs, you are in his hands and he will not fail you. pray and seek his face, believe in him and be of good courage, it's no over till God says so and he didn't bring you this far to turn you around now. if you are not saved, get it right with him, for none of us, know when or where or how, read romans 9'9-10 and if you are saved, only believe! i will have you in my prayers cause i know God is a healer and a doctor that never fails. be of good cheer, see god in your situation and run on, as for your children, God will take care of that,too. peace be unto and upon you, my heart went out to you while on the internet and i know God has angels emcampeth round about you and they shall preserve your going and your coming 4evermore

I wish you good luck in your surgery. You are going to beat this because kidney cancer is for the most part lower on the totem pole of death causing cancers. You also have another kidney. If the doctor is suggesting surgery it is most likely that there are no visible metastases. It's a good move to make. Your brother and children should definitely be driving you to the hospital (and back). Since he suggested it he be with you as well.

Get a second & maybe a 3rd opinion before allowing any surgery to be done. If you still need surgery, then I hope you have some family &/or friends who are supportive for you.

I'm not sure what your asking? but hope all goes well with your surgery

Only have people around you who you know love and support you, whether they are family or not. Check out the medical research carried out with Oncology patients using Himalayan Goji Juice.

First and foremost, I hope you have a full recovery and wish you the best with your therapy.

You need to speak to your doctors regarding the extent of the cancer. Kidney cancer when caught early is often isolated to a single kidney. Surgeons remove that kidney. If the cancer has not spread (metastasized) then removal of the kidney represents a cure. You would need to be monitored for recurrence, but generally cancer that has not spread outside teh kidney is cured by surgical removal and no follow up chemotherapy is needed.

If the cancer has spread (metastasized), surgeons often remove the primary tumor. Removal of this tumor can cause regression of the metastatic tumors. The prognosis of metastatic renal cell cancer is difficult to predict and the chemotherapy depends on your staging and how you are doing. Once again you need to check with your doctors.

Finally, the diagnosis is usually made by an imaging study (such as a CT scan or MRI scan). Final confirmation that a patient has cancer is ususally done after the surgery. We do not biopsy (take a piece) of these kidneys using needles because this can spread the kidney cancer locally. There are times where a tumor has the appearance of cancer, but is actually benign.

I think it is ALWAYS helpful for children to be supportive of their parents. Even adult children. As a society, we have to remember to honor and care for our parents. It is the only one of the ten commandments that comes with a promise--if we obey it we will have a long life. Even if you don't ascribe to this, it makes ethical sense to help our parents. If they don't volunteer, I think it's okay to ask for support from your children at this time.

Best of luck