Can't fit back into the society....help!?

I was diagnosed having borderline personality disorder after my first job when I ended up in the mental institute with multiple mutilations & attempted suicide. I landed in the intensive care unit in my 2nd job and in my more recent job, I had taken so many days of medical leave that the company decide they had to let me go.

I am still a patient at the mental institute seeing the psychiatrist for medication.

I have a university degree and I have been applying for new jobs. i never stated that I have any mental disorder in the application form else I would never have a chance to be shortlisted.

But the trauma of my past few jobs have been so great that I find myself resisting going for interviews and then feeling very guilty.

My mind tells me to look for a job but my feelings are in conflict. I am just so frightened and so resistent. It can be quite tiring hiding the fact that I am mentally ill from the employers and they find out eventually.

Can I give myself a break?

Before rushing into finding a new job, you should really work through all these issues with your therapist. Do you have a good therapist that you like and trust? If not, you should concentrate on finding one because all of these fears and apprehensions you have need to be talked out so you are not going into your new job with all that baggage with you. You CAN start again and succeed, but you really need to leave those past failures behind you where they belong.

All the best.

Mental illness is actually a disability
there are employers that look to hire people with disabilities
use it to your advantage- cant hurt

You did apply for Unemployment compensation didnt you? If not, do it ASAP

Maybe you could find a less stressful position temporarily while you build your confidence back up.

i dont want to encourage you to aim low or sell yourself short but maybe apply for jobs that are less demanding? even if they dont take advantage of your education and are lower paid, maybe you could start there.
You have to be up front. There is no point of getting a job under false pretences. Tell potential employers straight up. Then when someone does give you a start, you wont have any extra guilt or worry.
Maybe you can do some volunteer work just to get back into interacting with people but without the demands and stress? You might also find that you can truly feel valuable doing this.

You need to know that having the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder does NOT mean you are mentally ill. It means that you have a mental disorder, and the American Psychiatric Association, who are the ones who make the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) from whence all such diagnoses come from, are very clear about that, and your knowing the difference is important here. Psychiatric medications are given for mental disorders as well as mental illnesses, but the diagnosis of one or the other is very specific and very different. And people with mental disorders also visit in-patient psychiatric facilities as well as those with mental illnesses, so, don't let that confuse you either. Once you understand that difference, between mental illness and mental disorder, you will be making a great step towards feeling more confident. If you can, get a copy, or borrow a copy of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) and read the introductory material where it differentiates between the two, and you'll see what I mean. You should also be able to talk with your treating doctor and/or counselor to understand more clearly. Do that, and the rest will be a whole lot easier. God Bless you.

Give your mind a break for while from finding jobs. Maybe you could try doing vouluntary work.You could try and find a similar group ofpeople with your problem. Have you told your counsellorabout not finding jobs? Good luck.

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