I want to thank all those who answered my previous question posed as "Does a diagnosis of MS change a person completely?.
I guess I didn't elaborate that the changes in my husband's personality were quite drastic & even the MS clinic advised he may be clinically depressed which he vehemently denies and does not want to acknowledge at all.
I myself am an RN. I teach nursing students and work with MS patients in various clinical settings so I am very supportive of my husband when he was diagnosed. I cried with him, went through depression myself and put a hold on our plans for In-Vitro Fertilization because I want us both to get better. I told my husband I will never leave no matter what & still want to grow old with him, take care of him and even developed exceptional patience when he treats me like I'm the enemy.
He went to a stag in November 2006 & didn't come home that night. Next morning, he told me he woke up beside a brunette in bed & doesn't remember what happened.4gave him I have secondary progressive MS as a sequela of relapsing/remitting MS. I have been living with this since 1973, and I have a great deal of contempt for the medical community (exemplified by one MD who told me it can't be MS because MS does not cause pain, F-you very much) and the government as well, because the one therapy that works with very few side effects (except maybe you get very mellow and you like to listen to the Doobie Brothers) is illegal under federal law.
Ms is an insidious process because it is such a chameleon. It can produce any of the symptoms that can be referred to neuropathy. Some Pts are euphoric. Others are suicidal. Many oscillate between up and down and it often has nothing to do with the symptoms or the disease. I myself have been known to fugue when I can't get my medication, though there is no indication that I wander quite so badly, but I do some awfully strange things. Fortunately, I have been asymptomatic for the past fourteen years (except for one brief exacerbation that remitted promptly on changing my brand of medication, dig it!).
To come to your question, the answer is, yes, emphatically, yes. There was a cute young gal who was a friend of mine, named Karen Shoffstall. Professional. Successful. And one day, she told me that her leg had fallen asleep and she couldn't wake it up. Since I had at that point been living with MS for 20+ years, I knew that demyelinating disease was on the differential dx, so I did a quick workup on her. On the "close your eyes and hold your arms out to each side" test, she collapsed in five seconds, so we had a real quick dx and a quick trip to the ER, which confirmed primary chronic progressive MS. This cute, bubbly, sexy, successful professional turned into someone else before my eyes and her husband's eyes and all of our friends. I regret that Karen had an adamantly anti-stoner attitude, so adamant that she said she would rather die of MS than become a pothead.
Ultimately, Karen did not die of MS. She died of embarassment. She had to leave a business meeting when she lost control of her bowels. (Karen had a bunch of spinal lesions.) She got cleaned up, changed her clothes, got back into the meeting....and promptly lost her bowels again. She left the meeting, changed into her emergency sweatsuit, and drove to the airport, flew out and met with Jack Kevorkian the next day. 48 hours later, she was news.
Yep, it can change the pt completely. And the saddest part is that often, the pt is unaware of the change because the frontal lobe can be affected just as much as the cerebellum and spine.
So what do you do? Recognize that these behaviors are (or can be) symptomatic. Try to redirect the pt. Play therapy can be very good, though some forms of play are problematic for a pt with tremor. I have introduced many people in my support group to, of all things, Warhammer. It's an engrossing game for those who like fantasy violence. It's mostly a guy thing, and it can be a challenge to paint the figures or maneuver them on a gaming table, but there are oodles of other niches for warhammer fans. Perhaps your husband will discover an appreciation for gardening (don't let him get overheated, though), or music, or something else that has NOTHING TO DO WITH MS. Ideally, something that you enjoy as well, because you need to spend time together on something other than a trip to the doctor or a discussion of how hard it is to cope with his condition. He knows that already. He might not know much else, but he knows how hard it is and he probably tries to spare you the worst symptoms.
It's important to recognize that your husband has MS, but MS does not have him...or you either. Also, just because he's going to die WITH ms does not mean he's going to die of it. dont rule out the possibility of him using the diagnosis to take advantage of you. as a nurse i would think you would be familiar with how diagnosis of a major life changing illness or disorder can change people.
I did not know my husband before he was paralyzed but people have told me he's changed a lot (I suppose in a positive way since i love him to pieces lol).
MS is debilitating (sp?) and he needs to see a therapist to talk about his changes and his untreated depression. My husband is on antidepressants not only because it sucks to be wheelchair bound but also because the drunk driver who injured him in the car accident not only severed his spine but changed his body's chemical composition because of the trauma. Lexapro has helped him tremendously and I firmly believe your husband could really improve on at least a year of prescription medication and at least 20 sessions with a licensed therapist. I have known a person who had MS. Of course after a while it does change them a lot. But, I never heard of the brunette in bed one. I am sorry that's what you have to deal with. Sounds like he's able to drive or somehow he got a ride. MS usually begins with physical symptoms, but can affect cognition as well as personality
i don't know how long he has had the condition
try to get him in to see a counselor if possible --- just to talk
depression is a major issue with MS
One important thing to do is get him exercising and consult a physical therapist as early as possible
exercise naturally releases endorphins, and also, it gives a sense of accomplishment as well as self control (MS patients often go through a type of greiving process due to their severe loss of control of many aspects of their life)
GOOD LUCK and GOD BLESS |
