Hysterectomy & hormones.?

My wife of 25 years (48 years old) had a full hysterectomy at 41. She never took any hormone replacement. She is now very cold and callus to me (started about 8 months ago)and will not share regarding issues she sees a counselor about. Our marriage is in jeopardy of divorce and I love this woman! She has shut me out of her life! I just learned her Gyn called and when I asked what it could be she stated she knows she needs hormone replacement. I phoned the Gyn to explain our marital problems in an attempt to be sure she knows the story. Can either the hysterectomy or possible menopause cause the extremely different personality? Why didn't this happen earlier? Shouldn't a counselor ask these same questions?

She may be experiencing a depression. Have these problems started suddenly? or did they escalate over the last 7 years to the point where she is shutting you out?
I had a hysterectomy almost 2 years ago at the age of 40. I did a lot of research about hormone replacement therapy (HRT). I am convinced that she needs to be on HRT, but the more you push her to do it, the bigger chance that she will push you away further. I found the surgery very liberating. I can now do many of the things that I couldn't before because I'm not hemorrhaging any more and I don't have to be tied to a closet stocked full of feminine supplies 25 days a month. I have found that I am enjoying life more now than I have in a long time. Unfortunately, my husband feels slighted because I'm not home every day and night. I get so sick of him hounding me about not being home, that I have begun to shut him out, too. If my husband had called my gynecologist, I would have been VERY UPSET with him. I suggest that you just CHILL OUT!! Give her time to work through this. Let her know that you support her and care deeply for her, but BACK OFF!! She is in counseling by herself, not couple's counseling. She is probably trying to work through some personal stuff. She won't be able to work on marriage counseling until she is at peace with whatever brought her to the counseling in the first place. Good Luck to you and your wife.

yes, she needs help, u also may suggest to go to the dr with her.....listen in and ask questions. a counselor would a great start, tell her u don't want to lose her

Lack of hormones, or too many, can cause personality changes and also changes in libido.

I don't think there's anything you can do unless you can convince her to address the problems.

Well, this is the "for better, for worse" part of the marriage... Good luck! I don't think she is too happy about having this either... What is a counselor going to tell her that she doesn't already know?... She is probably afraid that she will lose you because of this. Try to be understanding...

after her lady parts were removed it threw her into surgically induced menopause her hormones are way out of wack get her to her gynocologist and explain her problem i went through the same thing with my wife it was a living hell for awhile but keep your head up she is also thinking she is less of a woman now so have a little compassion for her she just lost almost everything that truly made her a woman

God yes! I tried going without HRT after my total (w/ovaries out) hysterectomy 4 years ago at the age of 46...and I was absolutely homicidal within a week. I know for sure I would be an entirely different person if I had not gone on HRT...well, really, I know me and I'd probably not still be alive. It took over a year of fine tuning the estrogen and testosteron supplements, along with anti-depressants, to get me back to where I was before surgery (and better, since I probably needed the anti-depressants all along). We tried to lower my estorgen lately, just a smidge, to be sure we were using the lowest effective dose...the change was rapid and dramatic, and totally unaceptable.

After surgery, all options need to be explored and all tools utilized. Counselling is nice...but medical assistance in the form of HRT would help the root or intensity of the problems.

I wish I could help you convince her, and I am sorry your life with her has taken this turn. My partner of 20 years was very patient with me, but then, he and I don't live together, so there was less pressure in our daily life.