My nephew is doing heroin. How can I as an Aunt help him?
should I go to group sessions with him? I personally do not understand this drug. I know Its highly addictive. He is only 20 years old and my husband says its to late there is no help. I disagree. Please someone tell me how to help him. In my eyes he is a baby at 20 years old addicted to Heroin? Okay... this is a real tough one... I'm not much older than your nephew, and I like to say "I was addicted to heroin"... but no matter how much I say that, its not true... I still am... don't get me wrong, I have the true intrinsic desire to turn this desire to dust, but its easier said than done... but what I've learned through rehab (well, its called "treatment out here") and detox and all that fun stuff is... Drugs, the reason addicts keep on doing them over and over again is because they've slowly replaced the regular events (like going to a movie, or having coffee with a friend, or playing video games) with drugs... like sitting and watching a movie, no way in h*ll it can compare to smoking or fixing some heroin...
For those of you that don't know what it feels like... imagine being awake for 24 hours so you're totally tired and sleepy, but you're flying a plane so you can't fall asleep... but aren't you so peaceful? its awkward, but its a sure way to make time go by...
If you want to make this transition easier for him, please don't outcast him when hes high... don't totally get on his case, please just let him know what hes done and encourage to sit back and watch a movie or tv, or atleast still participate in the regular things... and even let him know, you love him and don't want him to be a junkie forever, because junkies have no future, even he'll have to accept that fact (which I sure did, which is why I knew I had to quit)...
I know where hes coming from, he doesn't want to stop now because hes scared its going to hurt being "down sick"... well, I was an addict for over a year, a SOLID addict... I had to have my heroin everyday or I'd start climbing the walls, period... and I did get it, whether it had been from stealing from my parents or stealing from my parent's visitors, I did it! pathetic for a kid with a genius IQ and was a dot-com millionaire by 16... eh? well, i slowly came to realize, I accept yes: some of it is physical... but ever heard of "mind-over-matter"!? (as if you were saying it to him)... I don't know if hes ever done crack (my drug of choice is heroin, but I used to like crack too, I say this because theres a direct comparison)... on crack, people hallucinate things, typically things like seeing flashing lights of police approaching or hearing footsteps of police coming to the door or other people... if its possible to hallucinate something that you hear and see, why can't you hallucinate something that you feel? afterall, its only your nervous system that acts as a gateway to the brain for the sensation we call conciousness... now that we've established hallucinations are possible, why do they happen? well, if you had the perfect time during your high then it'd be more likely that you have some sort of "closure" to the why you got high in the first place (like me, when I'd get high on crack, I just wanted that feeling perfectly throughout) but would always get interrupted by hallucinations, and with that interruption it means you need to repeat: do more drugs... so now... how does this relate to heroin? if the nervous system hallucinates the feeling of pain, its possible that it will get more drugs... but now what if you know its a hallucination? if you know something for a fact (or atleast using sheer logic can convince yourself, as I did), the pain will not be there... or atleast be something so negligible that it can be shrugged off as "everybody wakes up with minor aches and stuff, otherwise they wouldn't make tylenol for regular people".... this is the logic to overcome being "down sick"...
So... the best way for him to quit is... let him know, as much as you totally don't approve, if hes actually trying to bring it down to 0, you will accept his using on a tapered basis... if hes using $20 worth per day on average... get him to taper it to 0 over the course of two or three weeks... halfing the dose every 2 or 3 days... why so long? because its not about the drug, the key is to keep this person active during this time, rehab them into how to live a regular life, take them out to the beach and get them to gain the appreciation again... now I know its not practical to buy $10 or $5 worth... but thats why, someone more responsible may need to split it for him... i know it sounds horrendous, but would you rather show absolute love for him and show him the way... also understand, heroin addiction is a LOT like smoking cigarettes... its like when someone is itching for a smoke, until they get it they are all anxious... but once they have that first drag, they're fine, even if they don't finish it... its just the act of taking that puff that brings them down, even if it were a placebo.... thats why methadone works... not that its a placebo, but the act that a professional tells them is a reasonable substitute is enough to mentally satisfy an addict... even though I know I won't hurt if I don't do my heroin, I still desire it oh so very much... atleast its not a craving anymore... I can function without it because I've slowly learned I don't actually need it, I just need something to make the time go by... and heroin used to make my time go by much more easily because I'd be on that steady calming nod... but now posting on this website makes my time go by just as happily... I mean, look at the length of this post, its huge, lol... Do I know you? no, but this took up time, so you've helped this heroin addict remember why we're here... clean and sober, as you've helped me be, I can be a good son, as I truly do love my parents very much; and a good brother, as I love my brothers more...
Please read my blog, in it I write about my day-to-day battles on heroin... but as I slowly become more honest with myself, I become more honest with those I talk to... I have had my slips, but I don't let it become anything nearly as frequent as before because I know what it means to be "wired" (when its a physical nessecity daily*), and thats something I know I will NEVER let myself return to... http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseac...
I truly believe a part of my healing is to help others heal... This posting on Yahoo! Answers is part of my passion for computers that I had before I was a heroin addict, and thats why I do this, its one of the normal events that used to take up time... time that I can spend sober instead of high... If you ever can, please let me call you or you call me on my toll free number (but we'll have to arrange a time) or maybe msn... and I want to talk to him (ofcourse I'd insist you listen in and hear what I suggest for him)... and share in voice some of my insights from after being a seasoned junkie...
BTW... it took me 45 minutes to post this message... from 10:00PM to 10:45PM... 10pm is too early to go to sleep, so there would still be just enough time for me to go hunt for some money to get some heroin, if i didn't want to stay sober, if I didn't have this website as an activity in my toolbox of things to do instead of getting high... but now that its 11PM almost, I can go to sleep happily knowing I won't wake up too early... heroin addicts have the hardest time quitting because they tend to wake up early with nothing to do, and thats the time that most make up their minds to go get some heroin... find some alternative activities to do... I've made a committment to myself that no matter what, I won't go out before noon, and even then sparingly 'till about 5pm, daily... because if I allowed myself to, I'd go figure some way to get money and get high...
I think me and your nephew could quite easily relate, because I'm still in my infancy of quitting... I still really really really really want to do the drug... but I've finally come to accept (through sheer logic) that junkies have no future, and I refuse to have no future... and the sooner I'm no longer a junkie, the sooner I can start having my future... because as you get older, you won't just instantly have a future, you have to build on it, so might as well start building now so I can actually have the first floor by the time I hit 25 :) instead of starting to build at 25... Yes, you could go to the sessions with him that would be helpful.Educate yourself about heroin. Being there for him means everything. Just listen and not criticize. You're right ! he is a baby. heroin is the top of the line of all time addiction drugs. other drugs cannot touch it. it is the cadillac of users.
if you are there fo r him it would mean so much , he needs to know that there is someone who has not given up on him. & even if he slips , he can get up & he needs to know that you know he is human, & you'll forgive him,,& still be there, you dont have to say, 'i'll be there if you slip, ' just be there.
He definatly needs a support system & he needs someone to answer to. & something else, it's really hard to kick, it takes one drug to get over another drug, like the lesser of 2 evils. theymay send him to a methadone clinic, or prescribe librium for or something of that nature, to help him w/th e after effects,
years ago, they did not have these meds, & know about what to do,. a patient just checked in an asylum & toughed itout.thank God, fo r places now & people like you,who have compassion.
God bless you, & I say a prayer for you, prayer will work & prayer will help him. there is always hope and there is help for him no matter what anyone says. All you need to do is be there for him. go on line read soem thing about it learn as much as you can. go to NA with him buy the NA book. dont say things like "if you love me you would stop" its not about love. it's not about you it's him. he needs help. however dont put everything on you. best of luck to you. |
