How do you make the choice to stop hemodialysis?

My mom has been in the hospital for 6 weeks now and has been on hemodialysis for 3 weeks. She has been in and out of the hospital since January. She can no longer walk and is confined to the bed - they said after the hospital she would have to go to a nursing home for care and rehab. Then hopefully she can come home - but she will be on hemodialysis 3-4 days a week for 3-4 hours each time. We would have to hire a company to transport her there since as of right now she is bound to the bed. She said it would be worth going through all of this if she can be at home and walk again...But we have no idea if that will happen. I don't know what to tell her or what advice to give. She is 60 and I am 21. I have been staying with her every night for the last 6 weeks at the hospital...But I can tell that something in her has changed...What can help us to make the right decision? Anyone else go through this?

i was on dialysis for 3 years until i got my transplant. i went to a dialysis center 3 times a week for 4 hours. i was also weak and felt bad after wards. i am sorry to hear about your mom May god with her Thur this differ cult time. if i was you i would find a center near you and you can find a service that will take and pick her up.ask the hospital or her doctor of a center near by. they have nurses and tec's that do a great job of running the treatments.

Your mother needs to have a serious discussion with her doctor about her prognosis. I answered your other question about her but this question gives new and different information. After having spoken candidly with her doctor, she must decide for herself if this is worth it. If the quality of life she can reasonably expect is worth all the misery she must endure. No one else can decide for her. This is not an "our" decision. It's a "her" decision. If she continues to require total nursing care, she cannot come home unless you and other family members are prepared to be trained to care for her around the clock and can arrange payment for the equipment and transportation she'd need. Then it becomes an "our" decision. Medicare and Medicaid will cover some of it, maybe most. Her social worker or case manager will handle the transfer to another facility and will be a valuable resource for you. Make friends with this person.

Once she has spoken to her doctor, she can make an informed decision. This is where you and the rest of the family come in. Support her decision whatever it may be. If she wishes to terminate hemo, she will make that decision based on knowledge of the risks and benefits. If she wishes to come home, try to work out the logistics of this with the help of her social worker. It's no crime and no sin if the family is unable to deal with her condition and care at home. This is a 24-hour a day job and can drain you of your soul.

So start with the doctor. Arrange for a meeting in her room. Your mother needs to know what she's up against before she can decide. Once she's been transferred, you will have to get to know another doctor and another social worker. See how she does there in the new facility.

If there's anything else I can do for you, please contatc me.

Oh you poor thing - I understand how you must be feeling. There should be a Counsellor attached to the renal unit where she is dialysed - or someone you can discuss all these worries with who deal with these kind of things all the time and will give you good advice. If your Mum stops having dialysis (and it would have to be her choice) she would not survive for very long, the unit would treat the symptoms but in a short time she would slip into a coma. I have kidney failure myself, I am 51, relatively well apart from needing dialysis 3 times a week for four and a half hours at a time - I know I could opt to refuse dialysis, my consultant said I could safely miss one session but by the second session I would be very poorly indeed. I suggest you talk to your Mum, don't make any rash decisions, see what she wants. I wish you both well and hope that you find the strength to carry on, we only get one Mum after all. There is all kinds of help available if you ask, try the Patients Advocate, or phone the unit and ask to speak to someone about these problems. All the best.