Heart surgery scar and no confidence in my sis! help?

my sister had a heart surgery when she was just 3 years old and now shes conscious about her scar. she wont wear any clothes that show it and i want to boost her confidence a little so she feels better. I think its also the reason why she wont go to school dances, because a dress would show it. Shes just a teen! any suggestions?

Shes also a little overweight and chubby.

As a woman, I know how she feels. I had open heart surgery in 2003. I am much older than your sister. I am 41. I was 38 at the time of my surgery. I know there can be a lot of peer pressure and teens can be cruel, but this is part of who she is as Terry stated above. As she gets older, she will be more comfortable with herself, her scar, and her body. That goes for any teenager.

For now, when I have a formal evening out, etc., I wear dresses that come up above my scar and have a strap that goes around the neck and cuts low in the back. This will accentuate her shoulders, arms and back, and that can be very sexy. You don't have to see everything if you know what I mean to be sexy. Leave some hid to the imagination of the opposite sex!! I also wears blouses like this and unbuttom them to the beginning of the scar line. Again, you don't have to see everything to be sexy.

As she gets older, she will worry less and less about that scar. There are some creams she can try also to help and plastic surgery if she wanted to do that.

Most people do not think a scar is gross or anything like that. If someone does see it, it is mostly out of curiosity they want to know what happened to you. When I first had my surgery I was very conscious about it. One day I had on a lower cut blouse and someone noticed and said wow, you are to young to have had open heart surgery. Once I opened up and talked to them about it, it actually began a healing process in my mind because all I could think was that it was ugly.

She should be proud of that scar, she is a survivor. She is a strong person and unfortunately it will never go away. But again as she gets older, she will worry less and less about that scar. She is at a touchy age being a teenager, but there is much out there she can wear and still feel she is attractive, etc. and look beautiful. I know a lot of teens feel that have to show "it all" to be sexy and beautiful but they don't. She is beautiful for who she is.

I know the above does not help much because it is something she is going to have to change in her mind set, but it will get easier as she gets older.

Best wishes to you both.

Get sexy dresses that are high in the front but show her shoulders and back to advantage. Make the dress a backdrop to a sensational necklace. Maybe do some shoulder sculpting so everyone will be so enamored of her shoulders they won't notice any thing else.

I had heart surgery too, have her E-Mail me.

I'm 47 and had the surgery done late last year. I am male, grown and don't have the peer pressure your sister is dealing with. While I can't tell you she should not have those feelings, I can say I don't. I was a bit concerned what others thought at first. But I soon realized that this is part of who I am. My heart problems were the result of my own lifestyle. Poor diet, poor exercise, smoking and so on. Hers on the other hand was beyond her control. I do understand her concerns and fears, as other teens can be quit cruel at times. But there is (should be) no shame for living. Her scar is valid proof of her life and will to live. Again, I know it must be much more difficult for a young woman with all the pressure to fit in, be beautiful, date and derss in an apealing way.

I wear my scar as a symbol that I survived. I don't hide it. I go to the gym, swimming and often wear shirts that reveal the top of the scar. Few people seem to notice. When someone does notice it becomes an opportunity to teach and learn. Most are courious about the procedure, how I knew I had problems and what recovery was like. They also want to know how life has changed for me.

I would encourage your sister to accept that this scar is a perminate part of her special life. Anyone worth being a close friend will understand that she had no choice, because of her age as well as because of the life saving necessity.

There are methods to help reduce the appearance of scars, both old and new. Consider these options:

- Scar Reduction Creams, Ointments and Gels - these are sold at drugstores as over-the-counter medicines to help improve the appearance of scars.

- Scar Reduction Surgery - performed by a plastic surgeon. most are not covered by insurance.

- Laser Surgery - used to lighten flat or raised scars that are pink to purple in color. may also facilitate the flattening of raised, red scars. most are not covered by insurance.

- Injections - in case of protruding scars such as keloids or hypertrophic scars, your doctor may elect to use steroid injections to shrink the scars. injections can be used as a stand-alone treatment or in conjunction with other treatments. most are not covered by insurance.

Another possibility is some counceling. Proper therapy can help her learn to live with and accept her natural beauty, inspite of the minor flaw she sees in that scar. Have a talk with her doctor about this. He/she should be able to reccomend a good therapist.

Check the links below to learn more about the possibilities.

Buy the way, I think dresses with a high cut can be very sexy and would be great to wear to a prom or dance.

I hope you find some help here for your very special sister.

Sincerely,
Terry

Hello,

To be honest, I had never really thought about your sister's situation. It's a serious matter for a teenager. Being a teen is difficult and you don't need any extra complications.

Given your sister is a teen and self conscious about it and there are issues like swimsuits to contend with, I would think it might be worthwhile to go to a plastic surgeon. I have seen women who have had heart surgery and you couldn't tell unless they pointed it out to you. All that was there was a razor thin line.

There is someone you might talk to about this or even just print your question and give it to her, your mother. Believe it or not, she was probably a teen once. Although I am sure mine never was. It could be a tough issue for her so it might be best to stand back. Just think, how you would feel if your baby had open heart surgery? You and your sister will always be babys to her.

Regards

In Australia we have a support group called Heartkids. They have a teen group that is there so they can offer support to each other and they go on outings and camps. I don't know where you are from but is there something like this for her?? I am sure you could get some online support on the Australian Heartkids website.