Have friend who may have heart failure. Won't see doctor. Swelling: legs, feet, abdomen & cough. What to do?

Friend is in mid-60s. Health declining over a year time period. Experiences shortness of breath, coughing spells, extreme swellling-- so much so that legs are "leaking" fluid. Belly feels like a drum it's so tight. Won't go to doctor b/c of religious beliefs. I don't want to sit by and watch, but don't know what else to do. Any ways for me to help figure out if she really has heart failure or suggestions on ways to get her some medical care would be helpful. Also, if anyone has been in similar situation would like to know how it was handled. Many thanks!

About the religious beliefs: she feels that God is the only Healer to turn to. This is a test of her resolve to trust God. Her family pretty much agrees. I'm sure I'll jeopardize my relationship w/her and them if I intervene. Any natural diuretics? Any creative suggestions for getting her seen by a doctor. Thanks to all who have replied so far.

Legally, an adult has the right to refust medical treatment. It must be horrible to watch someone commit suicide through self-neglect like this, but there's little you can do.

I suppose you could try to convince her to see a doctor, but your chance of success is probably small. If she's part of a religious group that is commonly opposed to medicine, like the "Christian Scientist" church, there might be nothing you can say that would break years of communal reinforcement telling her not to. You could point out that they don't condemn medicine, though, so it wouldn't be a sin to at least try it.

If it's more of a personal conviction, you could try to argue on theological grounds. I'm going to assume that she's Christian here. If she refuses medicine on the grounds that God will provide everything she needs, ask why God would limit himself in a way that precludes working through humans. You could even point out that he himself came down as a man and worked as a man instead of just doing everything from a distance in heaven.

You could direct her to the story in the Bible about the Israelites in the desert. God didn't use purely divine means to alleviate their hunger. He gave them manna to eat. He created a material world that works by material means. When she's hungry, does she pray for the hunger to go away or does she eat food? So why then, when sick, would she pray to the exclusion of taking medicine?

It reminds me a little of a joke. If she has a sense of humor, you could tell it to her. There's a terrible flood, and people all over town are stuck on their rooftops because the rest of the town is underwater. The family next door has a rowboat, and they row over to his roof and offer to take him with them to safety. He refuses, saying that God will save him. The water rises more. Another boat comes and again, he refuses. The water rises. A rescue helicopter comes and the crew begs him to get on board. But no, God will save him, he says. Finally he's perched on the top of the chimney because the water has risen so much. An innertube floats by, but he ignores it. When he drowns, he asks God why he didn't save him. God replies, "What do you mean? I sent you two boats, a helicopter, and even an inner-tube! What more did you want from me?"

Ultimately, only she can decide to go to a doctor. You're a good friend; you prove it by caring so much. Do what you can to help her, but don't blame yourself if she refuses to see reason. In the end, being her friend might be all she'll let you do for her.

See if you can get a doctor to come to your friend... If the doctor is nice enough and has enough time, he'll do it. You may have to pay him to come, but you almost certainly will have to pay for the physical.

call an ambulance. Who cares if she's mad at you.

Once the ambulance crew gets there... they are trained in 'encouraging' her to go to the hospital. Let them do it.

What religious beliefs? That's news to me... I was on a rescue squad for years... and no one used that line on me.....

Again, if you see her in distress (difficulty breathing, complaining of chest pain) call 911 and get her help. Let her argue with the paramedics.

It does sound like congestive heart failure... does she have any children or family that could talk her into going to the doctor.. it sounds like she is in dire need of a visit... Is there any way that you could contact her doctor and maybe he could speak with her over the phone and convince her to see them? Ultimately it is her decision, but it seems like she is in desperate need of medical intervention... good luck!

If she does have it she'll die soon my Brother-in-Law had the same systoms & he wouldn't see a Dr & when he finally decided 2 seek help it was 2 late he died in surgery 6hrs later
Urge her 2 seek help now or else she won't see no one in the near future.Good Luck

I am afraid there is little if anything you can do for her. She need medical help. She should be put on lasicks or something like it to get rid of the excess fluid. Then she needs an ECG, and chest x-ray, and I would say an echo-cardiogram done. If she will not go to the doctor then she will drowned to death in her own fluid or her heart will just give out and stop. It is a shame that God has allowed her the opportunity to be where there is such wonderful medical care, and yet she will not allow herself to use it. I am so sorry.

Call a pharmacist, your friend needs a diuretic--hydrochlorathizide, and a lot of care. You really should call a physician or ambulance.

If money is a concern, once your friend is admitted to the hospital, social workers will set them up with programs that can help pay for treatment.

Please encourage them to see a doctor. Don't give them Tylenol, etc.--baby aspirin and vitamin E--bath the lesions and then use hydrogen peroxide on them.

Nothing will halt the progression of heart failure-you must understand that and so must your friend.