Don't Know What To Do - I'm At My Wits End!!!?

I've been married for a long time. We waited years to have children. One has very complicated special needs. I have a one year old who is perfectly fine. There are many issues with my husband that go back way before my special needs daughter came alone.

We're seeing a therapist and I've seen a psychiatrist and am on medication for PTSD, severe Depression and panic disorder. My husband on the other hand does not think he is depressed. He remains arrogant, beligerant towards me in front of family or anyone ( and it has to be triggered of course), and I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm the one on medication and trying to work through this marriage and the complications with our daughter, but he won't seek help for his sleep disorder and refuses to see the psychiatrist.

I've been thinking of moving out b/c he won't. I've ask him several times and he said all hell would break loose if he had to leave here. We have a house down the road that is paid for. Should I move out?

I don't want my children growing up to think that it's perfectly okay to sleep till 12noon everyday!!!!!!

I really thought he would have straightened up by having children, but he is a man in a boy's mind, and refuses to grow up. He's almost like a roommate and I'm decided it is time that I will not treat him like an adolescent anymore. That's basically what I got on my hands. He's drained me both mentally and physically. Like a sucubus.

I love him, but I'm starting to really resent him. I'm not in love with him anymore I know like I was when we first got married almost 17 years ago. The romance and just the butterfly feeling has left long ago. So sad. I really want my children raised with a sound family, mom and dad. He didn't have that, but I did and it makes a world of difference.

The part where you said "I really thought he would've straightened up by having children" is telling. He's not going to change - doesn't want to, doesn't see the need.

But what did your husband mean by "all hell will break loose" if he has to leave? Your moving out to that house down the road would be a great idea. But if you mean he's threatened violence, going right down the road isn't going to protect you.

If there's no reason to fear for your safety, move out. You have enough to deal with without the sucucbus. Your daughter can't help being special needs, your husband can & should've.

It sounds like a very hard decision, but it does sound like the right one, my mother has been in this situation for a long time but she does not have the courage or energy to summon up the divorce. It might be the right thing to do, unless your husband becomes sad enough to make a major transformation (which is rare).

Also, I think you should stop, your medications and take up meditation/yoga, instead. It can help you, as it helped my mother. In my opinion the only people who really do need the medication are people with severe psychiatric disorders that distorts their perception of reality or borderline suicidals.