Grief counseling??????

I can understand people wanting to help each other following a tradgety. But, I don't believe grief hits immediately to me you would just be numb. I know when my dad died I was completely numb. I honestly didn't griev for weeks . I mean I cried, but all the other stuff didn't hit me right away. What do you think?

As a medical person with 4 years hospice bereavement training under my belt, I would have to agree with you that some folks don't grieve right away...some do immediately, some daily to the point of incapacitation, and some have a delayed reaction and are "numb" until their mind is ready for the "input" of the death.Irregardless of the way one grieves, grieving is not done in a "right" or "wrong" fashion. Grief is unique to the individual and often depends on the level of importance the deceased was to the griever. I myself lost my 17 year old son to an accidental drowning and I can tell you, I went through a variety of feelings. Numbness,shock,anger,cried, yelled, cursed God, Thanked God for the time I had with my son, ate everything in sight, ate nothing & lost too much weight.....etc....eventually I worked through my grief as I believe most people do. It just takes time and no one can judge how long it should/ or will take. It will happen when it happens. Counseling and a good family support system are "key". And most of all putting yourself in God's hands...................

I've never experienced a tragedy of any kind (thankfully) and I think I would be a little numb at first as well. But having someone to talk to and work through the numbness I think would help the grief process get underway and help prevent a great shock when it does hit.

I agree. Each individual goes through the stages of grief at different times and intervals. For some the stages may be consuming, while others seem to display them in manageable but noticable intensity.

I am not sure what your question is, or how it relates to grief councelling. One does not have to enter grief councelling immediately after the loss. If a person needs it immediately afterward they may utilize it. Likewise, if another individual is more strongly affected later on, they also can utilize it when the need arises.

This is something i'd like to know more about too, my grand father died in october of 2002 and too this day i still have not shed one tear over it. Don't get me wrong, it makes me sad and all that he died, and i was fairly close to him. I don't get why it still hasnt hit me yet, when i go to see my grandmother, i always expect to see him. But i know he's gone. I don't know. It's confusing i guess....

I live about 2 hours from Virginia Tech. I was just talking to my friend about all the tragedies that have happened over the years---as horrific as they were---they were always somewhere else. Now this VT massacre is SO close. The killer grew up about 20 minutes from me. I'm numb. The whole US (and most of the world) is focused on this tragedy.... and it's right in my backyard. He could have easily opened fire anywhere in this area. He was so mentally ill.

Everyone goes through grief at different rates and in different ways. A lot depends on the relationship with the deceased person, the way they died, your own personality and much more.

There is shock, denial, blame, guilt, sadness, more guilt. The range of emotions covers a vast spectrum and none are to be denied.

As I said, it depends on you and on the loved one you lost. In this case it was your dad. Let's say, he was elderly and had been suffering for some time. Your reaction would be vastly different if it were your child that died in a car accident.

There isn't a blanket rule for grief.

Grief is an on-going process that in some ways lasts a lifetime since your loved one is not coming back. We find a new place in our lives for our loved ones and the coping gets easier with time.

Numbness is just the beginning, and for some it is brief and for others it takes longer - it is very individual. It is important to remember that grief counseling does not resolve grief for you, but can help you walk through the stages of your grief with the support of others who understand the pain of loss. But the key is to remember the individuality of every loss.

I was the same way. People will grieve differently but it does come in stages I know that. When my mother died I got angry and was angry for a long time, then in denial, and finally acceptable but it was about 3 years for this for me. When my father died I went dumb right away and then about 6 months later I felt alone and the acceptance came about 2 years later.

I think grief comes in waves. I have felt numb, when death has occured unexpectedly. I recently lost my mother in law at a young age to cancer. I feel I dealt with much of the grief prior to her passing away. It really is different for everyone. I have lost many people in a short period of time. I think grief has changed for me over the years as I get older (I am 34.) I still feel grief for my dad who I lost when I was 21. Grief counselling is a great idea. Even later down the road.

Umm... denial IS part of the grieving process.

I think one of the hardest lessons we can learn is that it is alright not to cry when someone dies. It is okay to feel numb, we are dealing with our feelings... It's okay to lose it if we feel we have to, and it is okay not to cry and not to feel grief.

My family has had to deal with many deaths. I started looking for something to make me feel better about death when my brother died a couple months after I gave him a kidney 10 years ago.

I don't think it matters what faith you are. Some people believe in Heaven, others believe in Nirvana, some believe in the summerland, I personally believe that life is full of lessons and we are hear to learn them, and we will continue to come back to this plane until our souls become highly advanced. But these are all beautiful things. Let's face it, we will all die... We don't know when, we don't know how... but how can we all go to nothing? How can we go to a horrible place? We all will go home, to someplace loving and beautiful. I think it is important to find something positive to have faith in, no matter where you find it.

How can we cry, when we know our loved one has gone home? I realize now, when I cry... it is not for them, I know they are fine... It is for me. It is because I miss them, because I miss being able to physically touch them and talk to them.

My faith has helped, the above mindset has helped. When my father was in a car accident almost three years ago and the doctors told me that we had to decide if we were going to leave him on machines or let him go, his death was inevitable, I was able to choose to let him go home. And when I cry for him, it is because I miss him; I know he's okay.