Advise on grief/trauma for a 7yr old boy suffering loss of father and step dad in the space of a year?

When my son was 3 my late husband hung himself in our house and my son was exceptionally close to him. a year later his own father collopased of an overdose on the front porch and my son witnessed this and a small proportion of the mad rush to try and save his fathers life. He is now starting to show signs of behavioural problems that i think are related and do not know who to contact to get him grief councilling or trauma councilling . i live in wales.

Take him to your GP, who'll refer you to the appropriate people.

go and see your GP. he or she will be able to put you in contact with someone in your area and will also be able to add this to his notes for later on in life. i would advise that you go asap as this sort of thing can have lasting effects on a person if not sorted as soon as possible.

He should of already been offered counsilling so go straight to your doctor and he will put you in touch with the right people...Good Luck!

i haven't got any advice for you but i wanted to say that i feel for your son, its too much for him to cope with
very tragic and i hope he will find some peace somehow

go to a professional they should be able to help you with that

xxx good luck!

IF HE DOENT HAVE A PEDITRICIAN TO ASK WHO TO SEE, CALL THE HEALTH HOT LINE LISTED IN THE FRONT OF YOUR PHONE BOOK, THEY WILL HELP.

Poor baby, speak to the school, my nephews school offered counsling when his dad went of the rails and his grandad was sent to prison and a little baby brother arrived 13years younger than him.
Do the scool know what has happened? If they dont and think he is just acting up than that could bring its own problems.
I think maby a visit to the doc could be a good idea too he might have some advice if nothing else.
Good luck

Oh, try to divert his attention to other things which he normally do when his father was till alive. Also, maybe a change of environment is a must so as to help him forget the memorable spots which he used to go with his father.

there is an organisation called cruise who specialise in grief counselling.

Ok, he needs an extra ciricular activity... anything to let him vent his frustration. Any sports he is interested... even martial arts. Anything he is interested in... if he won't communicate with you about what he likes... try everything you can think of.. and everything everyone you know can think of... He is only 3. Try everything no matter how weird or different. Find what he likes.. and let him go with it.

When my son was small and having problems , not as severe as your son's, we found that he latched on to an elderly lady neighbour. He was so comfortable with her that when left alone with her he would tell her everything on his mind. She was very understanding and often stopped everything she was doing to assist him. He totally changed over the next few months and we feel he did benefit from it enormously. I myself mentor last year schoolboys and am often rewarded to see the end results.
Let your son show you who he feels comfortable with and as long as he can get their trust he will only get better as time goes on. Good luck and i wish i could help you in person as well as in spirit.

Your son needs grief counseling. Your family doctor may be able to provide you with some leads as to where you can take him. If not, punch your city, "grief counseling," and maybe "adolescent" into Google or Yahoo search and make an appointment. I'm not sure if your insurance will cover this, but I wouldn't worry about the money. Depending on what the counselor/psychologist says, you may want to attend therapy with him.

You need to help yourself first by contacting NA and local medical services 鈥?or you may irreparably damage your child鈥檚 development. Consciously most children forget those years later in life. However, speech and social learning are critical at that age. If you have trustworthy family I would suggest you allow your child to stay with them while undergoing rehab in another area. As your addiction relapse may be tied to your current circle of friends.

My Daughters were 8 and 13 when thier mum commited suicide, and it is very difficult to percieve the inner traua kids go through. Everyone says kids are extraordinarily resilient, but that isnt really the case. My elder daughter coped with the loss by having a large group of friends who were very caring and listened to her for 2 years, she has coped well. My younger daughter who was approxiamtely the same age as your son hid everything, and in fact almost to a point of denial. In cardiff we have a service called CAMS (child and adolescent Mental Health) My youngest really felt the effects when she reached 13 and realised that her mum wouldnt be around to see her acheive things, became very depresed and had all sorts of touble at school. I wish I had heard of CAMs sooner. See your GP and asked to be recommended,believe me it is best to deal with the grief now than see it fester and cause problems during his teens. Good Luck and wish him well

Your best bet is to take him to your GP and ask them for advice.
Your son has been through a lot and definitely needs some sort of counselling.
Your GP will be able to give you the information you need, and may even refer your son to a counsellor him/herself.
Please do it soon, for his sake as well as your own, grief can be a really destructive force and , left unchecked it will cause a lot of damage. Take it from one who knows.

Your son will need lots of counseling in order to channel his grief in acceptable directions. But the most important thing is to let him know that he's not alone. He may feel scared that all the people he loves will all leave. So show him that you are there for him always. A good childhood friend will also help him by showing that the world isn't all about tragedy. But in counseling, I advise that you find one whom he knows already if possible, because he will be reluctant to share his problems with a complete stranger. But if not possible, help him to develop a deep friendship with his counselor/ doctor.

I THINK I WOULD TRY TAKING HIM TO SOME BREAVEMENT NEETING, THEY HAVE THEM NOW FOR CHILDREN, ALSO YOU MIGHT TRY A COUNSOLER, A PASTOR, EVEN BIG BROTHERS ASSOC. HE NEEDS SOMEONE WHO HE CAN TALK TO ABOUT HIS FEELINGS, AND SOMETIMES THAT CANT BE MOM, OR ANYONE ELSE WHO IS TOO CLOSE TO THE SITUATION, HE WILL BE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CHOOSE WHO THAT WILL BE, IT HAS TO BE SOMEONE HE FEELS HE CAN TRUST, AND HE IS COMFORTABLE WITH. MY HEART AND MY PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU BOTH. GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS.

get to the docs quick, they have people who specialise in things like this, get your son to draw his emmotions i know you think he's only three how can he do this but they can. the doctors might try to put him to the back of the que but don't let them. the faster that you get this sorted the less it will affect him. hope that you are alright by the way x

http://www.mind.org.uk/

personally, i dont think he will ever get over it
now you just have to hope you can atleast controle his responses, with good councelling.

Ask your doctor or at your local social services office whichever is easier for you to reach. Don't restrict the idea of counselling to your son, you are going to need help as well. You have been through a lot yourself and the family dynamic comes into play in any such situation.
You have obviously been trying very hard to be strong and focused up to now and it is OK for you to let go a bit as well.
I hope that things get better for you and your son and you both get some peace.

even i lost my mom but i knw wat 2 do
becoz he has 2 realize that wat he is doing
u make him realize that his father didnt want him 2 b like dis
make him realize abt his fathers dream n his own dreams.
give him love that is d only thng u can do for him

call your local children's hospital. They may have a special group of of other children who have experience the same. If not they can refer you to some place. In Fort Worth we have a place called the warm place for children suffering a loss.

Poor little boy! My son is 8 and has lost 7 people in the last 8 months, including his beloved nana. He talks constantly about her and gets anxious when people change his routine. All I can do is let him work through it by being consistant and loving him. I'm also honest with him when he says things like "Why did SR put a rope round his neck like SW? Didn't he know he might die?" Its rough but grief fades (NEVER GOES, though!!). Hang on in there, and just love your son. xxx

I am sorry to tell you this but this is the truth as I see it. If he saw your late husband HANG himself , and a year later his own father die of a drug overdose...I can bet my bottom dollar that isn't the only disfunctional behavior he is being exposed to. Drugs? Hanging themselves> What else is he having to deal with? Are you on drugs? Do you drink? Don't blame your child for the heavy burden you have allowed him to have to carry..I think he has seen far more than he needed too...People dont just 'hang' themselves out of the blue, and they don't just o.d. out of the blue on the first time. I am afraid that this little fellow has seen it all and you have allowed it. Please, get yourself right with the Lord Father God and Jesus, and all the answers to your problems will be at your dispose..but do not hesitate...I have a funny feeling you did not protect this lad from the elements. Sorry, that is just what my gut tells me. Sorry if I am wrong.

Hi there,

Both you and your son have been through a lot. I hope that you are both able to find some support. Below are some links to therapists in Wales. I hope this enables you to find a good therapist.

Best of luck to you both.

just lots of love,understandsing and attention will help him!!

I WOULD REALLY SPEAK TO YOUR DR AND GET SOME HELPO FOR YOUR SON

Oddly enough, his acting strange is a good thing because any normal person would have behavioral problems with so many tragedies. Take him to his GP and then get a referral for a therapist.

take him to your gp. and give him loads of love and cuddles and reassure him that your going nowhere.

try to him get to talk to you about what has happened. try doctor's for help and support gr ops.

teach him The Quran and Islam
Seriously.

U and your child will find the answer