Does grief ever really go away? My wife died at a young age and I cannot find another woman now after 9 years?

I don't know where to put this question. It is not new in the world, but I am a mature man up against the wall despite having treatment including counseling for the last two years. This is for depression. Now my only communication is with this PC.

We expected to live to a ripe old age and had a good and active marriage. Now I have no idea how to live with grief and still look for a new partner. Today I thought of going to San Francisco where we lived for the first two years of our marriage. At first it seemed like a good idea and then I nearly cried just think about how I would go to see our old home and places we visited together.

I post in Personals Sites, but never like who I meet. People say get active in places where you meet women, but I don't feel like it. In love department I doubt myself, knowing I have ED now after my own brush with C and no recent sex to prove me wrong. There is a country song, "Know when to fold 'em, know when to hold them." I don't know. What to do?

Boy,that is a tough one. You will always love your wife and regret the "unfinished" plans you 2 shared. You may meet 100 women but no one will ever be like her.
But that is OK.
You do need to get back out in the world-not to find someone new but to begin to live again. Sit in a park,go to church,go for a walk. Enjoy your memories you shared with her. That is one good thing about memories you can take them out of your heart and replay them in your head whenever you want.
Once you are comfortable out in the world you will find that you meet people,at the park at the library,grocery store...lots of places. And one day you will suddenly look at a women you have probably seen or spoke to many times and realize you would like to get to know her better.
I remember my 4 year old nephew was asking about "love" one time and i told him "your heart is so big that you can fill it full of love for LOTS of people and still have room to add love for people you haven't even met yet!"
I wish you well...

What does ED and C mean? Could you join a bereavement group to comfort each other? Keep looking and you'll find someone. Report It

maybe the key of your problem is faith, if you have faith in God, that created us to live in the world for a short time and death is just a step for us to pass to the other stage of life, that is eternal, that would confort your soul. I know how you feel believe me, I lost my mother 9 years ago and i still feel her suffering and i still feel that deep sadness in my heart, but we must keep on going, and faith is what is keeping me from falling into depression, faith is wat saved me 5 years ago.Just think about it,

I have walked in your shoes for the past 2 yrs. but I have found that life has to go on and it is hard to so. I am a young widow with a son but my husband told me before he passed Don't stand and cry Keep on smiling. It has taken a while but I remember those words and try and go on and live life to the fullest for tommorow may never come. I know it is hard but the memmories of your beloved wife will always be with you but you must find the strength to carry on. I wish you the best and do what you feel is rite for you. My deepest sympathy is with you. God Bless

you will meet someone when the time is right. i honestly believe that sometimes, a broken heart will never heal. kind of like a cut, the wound heals but the scar never fades. she was your soul mate. you are not only mourning her passing, but also the death of your dreams. don't worry about finding someone. take care of your mental health first. you might want to find another mental health care provider. you should feel more peaceful after two years of treatment. i've dealt with depression all my life. pills, locked upin the looney bin for three days, shrinks, nothing helped untill i slowly found inner peace. someday, you and her will be together forever. find comfort in your memories and realize she will live on in your heart!

I think you have to try and learn "to let go". You must have been emotionally clinging to your wife and still are, to thoughts of her. I have to say this (and forgive me for saying this) if your wife were living and you are the same as you were, you would be occupying a lot of her space, if at all you were living together still. Here is a little poem for you to think over:

I know I have to let go-
even thoughts
The longer I hold on
the less freedom I have
for peace.

It is up to you to live up to the name you have taken.

I just want you to ask yourself are you going to last forever ? how many people are having good life today and they are planning for tomorrow they dint know they are going to die just watch the news after five hours from now they will not be here their relatives and friends will cry alot but they never be able to bring them back.you said that you and your wife planned to live along life together ,sorry if I told you you can never pro miss what you don't have,life isn't your own you didn't decide to be born,and you cant decide how long are you going to live .life is short even you live ages it will be just like one day .so try to wake upand go on living have kids share others life and .do you think that your wife would go through such grief don't think so she would have gone through it and have a new life .be faithfully and accept what God decided for you because that's fate we can never change ,and you must know that you are responsible for the gift that God offer you wich is your life you have to keep it for your good and others .