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How long does grief last for???


i lost my brother to suicide a bit over a year now, and last night
i walked in his old room and couldnt stop crying, i should be over it by now right?
ever since my brother passed, everyday ive been felling like crap.
ive been from job to job, lost all my friends, finding it extremly hard to sleep and get up.
WHEN IS IT GOING TO END...

Everybody handles grief differently.

grief has 5 stages, right? the last one is acceptance... maybe you still haven't accepted the loss completely...

I know its bad...when my sister died when i was still quite young I felt terrible for a long long time. I still cry whenever I think about her...U will never stop crying for the person u loved so dearly, but the frequency does become less n less...
I suggest if you haven't done this then try taking a small one week vacation...Carry a pen and few sheets so that u write down everything u feel on this vacation. Go to a place which is not known to u and nobody there knows u....

Spend time all by yourself...Just roam around and think about ur brother and write down ur journal of thoughts.....

U'll feel at peace with your emotions, u'll feel in control when you come back....
Do let me know if u ever try this....

hello there you strike a chord in my heart . my father committed suicide and it was seven years ago; the pain is still there and i guess it'll never go .what is the hardest in our situation is the fact we didn't get to say goodbye + in my case i never saw the signs of his unhapiness and till now i still feel guilt is almost as if i don't have the right to be happy and to live my life fully ; i feel like i gave up but there is one thing you can do that i didn't do talk openly about it and seek professional advice to get over it now before you end up like me wake up seven year later which is tremendous . give yourself time to grief is important too but don't let your life stay at pause .good luck.

When you decide to end it, you need to accept it. You dont need to forget anything but your walking around with not only the fact that you lost your brother but with the guilt of how you lost him. You may blame yourself a little for not being able to help him when you think he needed you the most. You need to talk to someone a friend, or a pro to move past it.

sorry to hear baout your loss. diffrent griefs take longer to get over. like a broken heart usually three months. sometimes longer and shorter. Death is a little more tricky. you may never get over it but learn to live life effectivaly. dont beat yourself up because your still sad over your brother its perfectly normal even though its been a year. take as much time as you need to greive and you will never forget your brother like you would an ex gf/bf but you will learn to live life without him around and remeber even though he may not be with you in person he is ALWAYS in your heart. Good luck.

yes too long for you to grief, normally 6 months only. Grieving has a process:

1.anger
2.denial
3.depression
4.bargaining
5.acceptance

sometimes your feeling fall in any step. i too lose my mother 8 months ago and up to now i am still in grieving process. sometimes i am still in denial. can't accept that my mother is gone. my advice is for you to seek a counsilor. a confidante, someone can listen to you ans guide you how to move on. try also psychologist specialty in dealing to crises. just pray for your brothers and i know he is not happy to see you in devastated situation. just accept and move on.

I lost my brother to suicide to as well.
Well the grief will always be their no matter what.
It's going to be 2 years now. It is hard to go on - blaming everybody everthing and mostly for yourself. Yes I did except it - I know he is much better off now. Yes I lost almost all my friends don't what to go out alone. The thing that helped me was - I know it sound stupid - but it help for me. I am going to the grave and I sit there and I am talking to him yes with a lot of tears but it feel a little better. Sorry to say it will never end the pain and grieve will be just a little better.

There are five steps of Grief

anger
denial
bargaining
depression
acceptance

You do not have to go through all five in this order.
I too lost a loved on with suicide and as long as you live you will always have them in a part of your heart>>>>no matter how much time goes by. your best plan of action is to fnd some to talk to (grief counseling) and it don't have to be a psychologits, clergyman, counselor but someone you trust who has shown in the past that they are wise and compassionate.
Visit the cemetary and spend some time meditating over his grav. If your brother was hee today and could talk to you he would tell you that you must not let your emotional or physical health deterioate..Remember he loved you two and what you have happened if the roles were reversed? What you have said to him??? You will always have your brother in your heart
and according to my religion..you will meet in again...but there will be not pain and death there. Good Luck

I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer this question, as I have never lost anyone close to me, but here's what I think anyway.
I think that if my brother died, I would be devastated, he is my only full sibling and we are very close. I don't think that I would ever get over it.

My dad's best friend killed himself when I was a kid. I remember it taking him a long time to come right, and even then, every year on the anniversary of his mate's death, we all had to treat him extra nice as he would be sad that day.
Even now, some 10 years later, he is still affected by it.

Grief can last as long as you let it but I do think your brother would want you to always keep him in your heart with good memories. Then go ahead with your life because if you allow this to mess of your life forever then he has killed you too. You will never forget him but before long you will remember him with love and laughter from the good times you had with him and that is normal. Good luck to you and hang in there.

The very thought of "I lost" is making you grief.

Let us analyse. When your brother's physical body was around, that time also you used to see his image, hear his voice and record one time. And rest all the time you used to compare that with the image you had. So basically at all times whether his physical body was present or not present, you only captures his image through your senses to think that he is your brother, who died means there is no more image to compare with the already existing one in your mind.

Everyday, somebody in one part of the world dies and leaves the feeling with others as they are not around. And they grieve. The fact is, all of us are actually dying to go to the next moment. Since there is a continuity of body(with a lot of change) and mind(also with a lot of change) here we can perceive, we think a "Self" continues and my mind is part of that "Self". The self is nothing but knowledge, desire and feelings. You hold those images in such a way to feel that, you have to grieve to become a good brother. You change some of those arrangements here and there, grief vanishes. Image changes. New optimistic you emerges. I stop here and leaves for you to think in these lines. Very soon you will be out of your grief and allow the image also to die. It is not a sin. Holding to that is a sin. Tell your mind not to cheat you with recorded images and sounds. Let the mind capture the flow of events as it is. Do not get stuck in past. Let the images flow through. Enjoy the present and die as you never lived by flowing with the time. Easy to say. But, a bit of practice will surely do the magic

i lost my brother in 96 - the grief never ends

do you think your bro wants to see you going through this hell? How would he feel if he knew you were throwing your life away too because of his bad choices?

it's time to get out and do somethin g- live for your brother and show him that you CAN and WILL succeed

don't let one crappy decision/event over which YOU HAD NO CONTROL and that YOU CANNOT CHANGE ruin your life

we can not decide what will happen to us, only the way we will REACT to what happened and our PERCEPTION of the event...........

You poor thing! I think it's only natural to feel like this on and off (especially when you go into his room). Maybe you could benefit from seeing a doctor or a counsellor. Good Luck

Grief lasts for different amounts of time. Maybe you should celebrate his life with a few of his friends. This will help you to be more positive and happier. You need to accept that your brother is gone and can't come back. However you have all the memories of the time you spent together. He'll always be in your heart. Try not to move on too quickly and completely forget about him because it will come out in a different way. Also try talking to a relative, a good friend or a psychiatrist. Good luck!!

I'm sorry. I know that's very difficult to handle.

The time people spend grieving is all different, depending on the person. And certain triggers will probably always set you off with memories. But if you've experienced the symptoms of such depression as you've described, for as long a period as you've described, your grief may actually be clinical depression at this point. Grief may remain, but it shouldn't get to a point where it impedes the function of your own life. You should go see a therapist of some kind and see what s/he thinks. Talking about your feelings can help you in ways you wouldn't imagine, and it would probably help you regain some focus and direction in your own life, which should be a goal for you now.

When you do start feeling better, don't feel guilty about it. It's natural, and your brother would have wanted it. It's normal to feel deep grief, but it's also natural to start to live again, and that means laughter, and even times when you don't think about your brother. I know that idea may seem horrible, wrong, and disloyal, but it's not. It's really the way it should be. It's what any of us would want for our loved ones if we weren't here anymore, right? So it is okay to feel better, and you should take steps toward that.

Please take care of yourself. I wish you all the best.

i lost my husband to suicide in 1999.i feel as much pain now as i did then.i am in therapy.i am on medication.i understand that the people who commit suicide are in so much pain that the thought of going on living is unbearable but they dont think about those of us they leave behind in a million pieces.

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