How come grief catches up with you? You dont even realise you have it, then bang! ???????????

Grief is a funny thing my Gram passed almost three years ago but there are days when I think I wasn't even thinking of her and all of a sudden my body is washed over with sorrow. When you grieve you never know when or where it will hit you, it can be a word, a phrase, a fabric, someone who looks similar or even something they liked. It is simply natural to miss someone whom was part of your life and the fact you know you are not going to see them anytime soon and the fear you will forget them. I made a blanket/quilt from my Grams clothes and when I get blue I wrap it around me and close my eyes and remember all the hugs I use to get. Also making a photo album and seeing the person helps you get through. I do not think you ever get over a death I think you eventually get use to not seeing them at some point but I am not there yet.

because you havent dealt with it. u cant run away from your problems, u can only hide them for awhile

Denial. It's a form of self protection. It all builds up and breaks through with a vengeance.

greif like god is always by your side , you unfortunatly were too damn happy to notice it

It kind of cooks inside you, then comes out when it wants to, which can be embarrassing, especially when you thought you had it all wrapped up and dealt with.

cos it hurts so much you bottle it all up
then you put on a brave face and get on with life
then months or in my case years later like you say you just bang cos it wont stay bottled up forever

I can identify with that. It is NOT a question of running away at all. It is a case of trying to be strong, of trying to cope, of trying to set a strong example for others, of being in a state of shock. When my father died at 68 years, my mother decided to wake him for THREE nights so people from Nova Scotia could come if they wished. I was fine through all of it including the duties performed by the family like flowers and picking out the casket. The day of his funeral at our "last" visit before they closed his casket, I literally fell apart and sobbed and cried uncontrollably. My brothers had to drag me away from the room and it took me several minutes to recover. I guess it was at that point that I realized I would never see my dad again.

Cheers!!

Because sometimes grief is too much to bear all at once, so you measure it out in doses small enough to swallow. It's still bitter, though, isn't it? We ALWAYS miss those who've gone on.

But just think of it as being in a department store, and one of you caught the elevator going up (I hope it was going up!) while the other is left waiting below. For a short time, you're separated. No big deal. Finish your shopping, do the things you can do. Later, the elevator will come back, it'll be your turn, and things will be okay again. "Till we shall meet and never part" as Henry King says in his poem The Exequy. Cheer up. We're not forever parted. Only for this short space of time.

Here are links to both Henry King's poem as well as the poem Elegy on the Death of Sydney by Fulke Greville, Lord Brooke.

If you broke your foot but kept walking on it, eventually it would become so painful you would have to stop and get help. Your brain is a part of your body too, it can only take so much neglect before you need to take care of that too. Grief is difficult at best, no one wants to face the pain of loss. But just like like that broken foot, eventually you need to pay attention and deal with it.

no matter how hard we try to run~or how much we try to deny, that nasty bugger (grief) always catches up to us.

i think it's natures way of cleansing that part of us, so that we can pick up from there & go on.

we have to adjust to that piece of our being (sometimes its a person, sometimes its something else), not being in our lives any more and a good cry (or a FEW good cries), starts the process for us.

it hurts real bad, but i think it's a good thing.

chin up!! it will be o.k.

many tools for grief include stress reduction and journalling.

Try this first for length of time: http://www.drweil.com/u/Article/M131/

If you need extra support, try these, especially theanine or suntheanine several times a day. (go through all the pages)
http://www.truestarhealth.com/members/cm...

been asking myself that all day...just sit and stare at the casket, and can't believe that death is so final... just poof!