Struggling with grief...again.?

My Dad died in 1996 and missing him has come and gone over the years but the past few weeks I've had this intense wave I can't get past. Peaking yeasterday, I was miserable. I can't think of what may be triggering it or why it would be so strong after all this time. It seemes misplaced and silly somehow. Anyone ever had this? What did you do?

Yes, mine died in 1987, and I still get that from time to time. The holidays trigger memories, and I think that is probably what did it for you.

May I advise you work at accepting it and not suffer so much. Just know that sometimes it will happen, and in a way, be glad that you still do miss him so much. You must have loved each other greatly.

It's not silly, nor misplaced. Sorry for your loss. Please don't put yourself down for these strong feelings.

I think the holidays are especially hard on those of us who've lost someone we love. We have so many memories, no matter how long it's been that longing for them is there. That said, I wouldn't say what you're feeling is abnormal at all. If it continues, however, you might want to talk to someone about it. It's times like these that it helps (me) to have faith. I know 1) my loved ones are in a better, beautiful place where I will see them again and 2) I know they wouldn't want me to be hurting. Take care.

Yeah, funny you should mention that. For the past 6 or 7 months, I've been getting those waves of grief about Char. After many years of not really delving into that too much.
I think you're right about it being "misplaced"... there's probably something else triggering that grief - some kind of stress that appears to be unrelated on the surface but that your subconscious is drawing a direct line between.
As you know, for me there's been a series of emotional upheavals this year which might explain my reaction. How I've been dealing with it is by just giving into it and allowing myself to feel the full force of the grief and then move through it. Talking about it to people I care about has helped too.
If there's anything I can do, you know where to find me.

I'm going through this as well. My daddy was my best friend and he also died in 1996. A couple of nights ago, the prospect of facing the rest of my life without my best friend, as well as some other things going on in my life, was damn near the end of me. It sure didn't feel missplaced or silly, it hurt more than I can describe.

Someone on Answers reached out to me and reminded me to look for the positives so I made a list of all of the good, positive things my dad taught me. Then I wrote my dad a letter. I started out by thanking him for all of his love and advice but halfway through I guess I got to the heart of the matter. I told him how much I miss him and how I was angry with him for leaving me here. I told him everything that is going on in my life and asked him how I was supposed to figure things out without him.

As I looked at the first part of the letter again, I realized that he had already given me the answers. He taught me that, no matter what, I'm his girl and to believe in myself and to keep going no matter how hard things got.

So that's what I'm trying to do. It's still hard. I'm sitting here crying again as I write to you. At the very least, you and I know we're not alone.