I have genital herpes :( help !!!!?

so... dont worry im ready for the put downs...
i have a 21 month old son who is perfectly healthy . i found out i have genital herpes after he was born.. could this mean i got it before he was born cuz of all the testing they do during pregnancy? also. i have a boyfriend whom ive been with for a while and were getting engaged. i told him about the herpes when we first started seeing each other and he said he doesnt care cuz he plans to be with me forever, yes, we have sex unprotected oral and intercourse. and i am 8 months pregnant with his son.we know the chances of passing on to him are high but he really doesnt care because he loves me so much.when i go down on him i can see little tiny tiny bumps on his sac... is this herpes? i havent told him about them and he never ever says he is itchy or sore at all i feel bad even tho he doesnt mind, is herpes for men worse then women? and my OB doc told me i can still have a normal birth if there are no break outs at the time of delivery.

ps... i have only ever had one break out

Don't be so hard on yourself...you didn't ask for it. Nobody should put you down for something that you have no control over. Your body can harbour the virus for years without an outbreak. Your doctor can also prescribe Acyclovir to you before delivery (it is a drug that can be taken during pregnancy). You're lucky that you've only had one outbreak, but beware...that can change, esp. with a lot of stress or during your period. I think I heard somewhere that herpes is worse for women b/c they're most likely to have outbreaks during their periods.
Good luck to you.

There are meds to keep most outbreaks at bay and help prevent spread. Good to try keeping it under control ... recent article linked herpes to Alzhiemers.

I think what you are seeing is hair follicles as you well know if he had an outbreak he would be the first to know since they are so painful, are you taking any anti viral medication such as valtrex or famvir? taking those meds once a day can prevent outbreaks however you can't take them while pregnant as far as delivering the biggest problem with a vaginal birth is giving the baby the herpes virus in his eyes

See the medical link below...

No, those bumps you are seeing aren't herpes but hair folicles.

And why should anyone put you down? Herpes is not the big deal everyone thinks it is, AND you can get it from just one person. It doesn't make you "dirty".

Good luck to you.

The best person to answer the question about having the virus before the first pregnancy is you, since it was dependant on your activities prior to and after the pregnancy. I would say no, since there is usually an initial outbreak within a month of infection and there must be about a month before you test via serology.

Those bumps do not sound like herpes. As long as you "take a break" when stressed or at the first indications of an outbreak then you should be alright [I had a friend in his situation and he managed to stick around for at least 6 months and never caught it]

As for the child..if there is an outbreak then you are going to have go with the Cesarean.

Im really not sure what your question was, [aside from your concerns about your bf] you have spoken to your OB and PCP and seem to have your act together [aside from the herpes... that sucks]. Its his decision and from the sound of it he seems to know that you are worth the risk so please don't be so hard on yourself.

Keep ur head up,
B

yes....i gave them to your mom.