Clinical depression then postpartum depression? or relapse?

one day after a night of some drinks w/ friends was struck with panic attack after panic attack after panic attack , which probably triggered my depresssion. Doctor perscribed 10mg of Paxil for five months and i had 5 sessions of talk therapy. I seriously thought I was going to go crazy and kill myself. I felt better after month four and two months after that I got pregnant. I was ok. I didn't need medication I felt ok. I was extremely happy having a baby. Six days after delivery I felt funny then the depression came back, I'm back on paxil 20mg this time for postpartum depression. I dealt with alot during the end of my preg, such as unfaithful husband, no money, delivering the baby alone(no family or friends with me)
Right now I fear of going crazy, but I'm not unhappy or getting any anxiety attacks, in fact the last one I had was last year.
did I relapse? or was the depression always there but hiding in the back from hormones through my preg? Or did I recover from clinical depression and then I had post-partum depression?

Are there any people out there that recover from months of depression that don't need to take meds anymore?

My mother takes anti-depressants, for 20-something years now. am i going through the same fate? Is this gene what I'm dealing with?

99.9% of the people taking them do not need anti-depressants. That will probably get me a lot of thumbs down, but it's the truth.

Doctor's prescribe them like they are going out of style because the pharmaceutical companies give them big perks for doing so.

Your body is going through huge hormonal changes. Medicating you so you no longer care isn't the answer. You simply need to balance out your hormones, and you can do that drug free.

For starters, to deal with the post-partum get a product called "Baby Blues" by the Wishgarden company. It will deal with the post partum issues very well and is not a drug.

Remember any drug you take your baby is getting inadvertently since you are hopefully breastfeeding.

However, I suspect you have a lot more going on than just post-partum depression. If your husband cheated on you, and during pregnancy to boot, that is huge, and would create issues for anyone.

Right now, you have to put your child's needs above everyone elses, including your own.

If you have no money, move in temporarily with family or friends. You delivered the baby alone? Well hopefully that means you kicked your worthless husband to the curb. If not, do that immediately. Any man who would cheat on his wife, and especially during pregnancy is not worthy of the title "husband" or "father". That being said, he's still obligated to pay you child support somewhere in the neighborhood of 25% of his earnings.

Next you need to get to the root of your self-esteem issues. Something led you to be with a loser husband, and if your Mom was on anti-depressants for 20 years, she obviously had issues too. You should work with a psychotherapist to help work through that. They have the same training as psychiatrists only they work with their patients rather than just describing drugs.

You have to get through this for your baby's sake. You do have the strength and will, you just have to tap into it.

Because your mother has suffered from depression, the standard line is that you have a pre-disposition for it. Paxil has a history of helping with panic attacks, but 10mg is a low dose for that with no help after a month and a half. It should have been upped. Post Partum depression is fairly common + all the issues you have been dealing with I am surprised that they only have you on 20mg of paxil.

My unclinical opinion is that you are pre-disposed to depression by your family history, and that you would do well on meds to get you through this period. Paxil has shown a history of being good with panic attacks, though with all you are going through you might need a higher dose. Also you might consider Lexipro which is supposed to be Paxil with less side effects. Consult your doctor.

Given the circumstances, I would have anticipated the possibility of reactive (situational) depression, but when combined with the withdrawal of pregnancy hormones, it makes it much more likely. See postpartum depression, and read all of section 2, at ezy-build: my standard post follows: print/refer your mother, as well: See depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 2, and consult a doctor, to eliminate thyroid problems, etc. as possible contributing factors. It is your decision, and yours alone, as to whether to take any antidepressants offered, but, before you do, read section 1, and check medications out at www.drugs.com so you will be on the lookout for side effects, like sexual dysfunction. My strong recommendation, however, is to follow the advice of my doctor, his partner, and also Marcelle Pick, OB/GYN NP, and Dr. Mercola, as well, at http://www.mercola.com and avoid antidepressants (page 2V refers, & antidepressant websites: page 2). All of their advice, (except prayer, because many people are not religious) I have incorporated into the "core treatments", including others as options, such as herbal remedies (none of which have been conclusively demonstrated to work with severe depression). If you are diagnosed with clinical (major) depression, antidepressants may be necessary for a while, which will give the treatments time to become effective. The antidepressants themselves need at least several days, or even many weeks to become effective. It's a good idea to taper off them slowly, with medical advice, after several months, say, to a couple of years, at most, because they are only effective in the long term for about 30% of people. Because of this, you would be well advised to begin the treatments immediately, and maintain them. I'd just thank your mental health care provider, and pocket the prescription, trying the treatments for a few months, to see if they are sufficient for you, before considering filling it (unless clinically depressed, and having great difficulty functioning, in which case I'd take them).