My boyfriend has a bad gambling addiction? What do i do? it's breaking us apart and he doesn't even know it!

he has admitted to me that he has a gambling addiction and i've tried helping him but now he just lies and denies the fact that he still gambles his whole pay and savings away every week. i don't know what to do anymore

that sounds like a classic addict to me- he lies and he's in denial. find your nearest 12-step program for gambling addicts on the internet or call 1-800-gamble.

thanks everyone =)
oh and nadia i got the # wrong- it's 1-800-gambler. Report It

You need to take his paycheque away from him and give him an allowance(for years). Otherwise he WILL go bankrupt. That might be the best thing for him to do anyways. My brother would lie and lie and it swear on my dead mom's grave that he wasn't gambling. I would then follow him and find him at the Casino. It made me really depressed and I couldn't eat knowing he was gambling tens of thousands of dollars. I lost so much weight that my neighbours and friends thought I was anorexic. And the stupid bank kept loaning my brother more money to gamble with. Gambling anonous did not help him, because all they did was talk about gambling. I got him to sign up for a self-exclusion program to ban himself from the casino for three years, but the casinos here in Canada turn a blind eye and let him in and it did not help. One on one counseling helped him for a while. I moved out and thankfully he was smart enough to lock the rest of his money away in a GIC for a year. I have no idea if he still gambles. I just worry about my own health now. I hope your boyfriend does better. I hate to recommend couples break apart, but I would recommend you live apart and still date until he stops gambling or gets serious help. Just so he understands how serious it is.

Are you a counselor or addiction therapist or psychologist who specializes in addictions? If not, what makes you think you can help him??
Break up with the loser and move on. He's not your husband and you're not obligated to spend the rest of your life with the jerk.
You might get some therapy to discover why you tolerated this though.

Unless he will admit he has a very bad gambling addiction and agrees to go to somewhere like gamblers anon. to help and stop this problem you will have a very unhappy life which you do not deserve. You must know that people have lost everything they own because of this problem. I have seen people feeding hundreds of dollars into these machines and will not get off them because they have fooled themselves into thinking that they can beat the machines and very rarely do. Also they will never admit to how much they have lost. I had the experience of knowing someone who had this problem and over a few years lost not only a very large sum of money but husband and new house. She would take her little boy with her and because it was a country town he was let to run wild and do whatever he wanted or she would get someone to look after him.
She eventually went bankrupt and lost everything she had to feed this addiction and there was nothing anyone could say or do to stop her. So my advice is if your boyfriend won't get help you would be better off in the long run to end this relationship now no matter how much it hurts. Good luck and I hope you work something out.

for starters you can't make him do anything, and you cant take his money away, hes just a boyfriend, legally you have no rights to his stuff.

as far as the problem goes, things will get worse before they get better. he needs to hit rock bottom to get himself help. its equal to an alcoholic or drug addict. he may not be physically harming himself but he feels the same high.

he needs to want to stop for himself and nothing you say or do will change him. you should leave him and see if loosing you is enough to make him stop. probably not, but you can find yourself a better partner, someone who is healthy and treats you right.

good luck!

unfortunately there is not much that you can do except support him when he decides to get help.

please just make sure that he cannot access any of your money or belongings at all. once addicts gamble away all their own things they start to steal and borrow money from their friends and family, which then goes to feed their addiction. please protect all your assets and money so that you dont get dragged down with him.

if it causing you too much unhappiness, i would suggest walking away. let him know that you will be there for him when he decides to get help, but that in the meantime you cant be around him anymore because of his problem. good luck.

Dont be his boyfriend.Gambling is bad.chose another boyfriend.

You can't do anything if he doesn' t want help. You cannot save him. I know it's hard to give up on someone you love, but some people can't be helped. I really feel for you, but you need to cut and run. Don't let him drag you down too.

Gambling is like any other addiction.. you have to want to stop before you can.. I know. I am a former drug addict and now a gambling addict though I don't gamble away my savings ( I would if I lived closer to the casino and could go more often). Addicts of any kind lie and tries to justify what they are doing. U can't make him stop.. The more you beg him to stop, the worse it will get .. It may be better for you to walk out of the relationship now..Maybe it will help him to know what is more important. GA might help.. NA didn't help me but it does for some people. GL in your decision