Family problems?

I've been having some problems at home lately, i've really been having problems at home, since i left foster care, but now they're are worse. Now, everybody in my house are irritable, and I think i'm depressed. Since i got out of foster care, i haven't had insurance, so i all i have is the same 30 day supply of Zoloft I got at the hospital, i'm afraid to take it, cause i know that taking it for a month, than quitting, can make me even more depressed or suicidle. So, i'm just keeping all my pain inside and letting them out. I feel like i'm going to snap soon. i feel like a bag of popping popcorn, that's about to burst. i'm so depressed because, i feel like everything, and every problem at our house is my fault. we don't have money anymore. my mom is crazy stressing over that, now, so am i. and i'm upset of things that go on at my house. My mom is soooo irritable,last night, she wouldn't listen to me,she heard me,but she didn't listen, i kept telling her that i was stressed,and that was why my memory sucked, but she said,"so, people stress over things everyday". she doesn't understand, i stressing about: the abuse i've recieved, emotional and sexual, the way she's sooo irritable,how we have no money, how my brother hates me and said he wished i would have never come home, me not doing well in school,and most of all, everthing, all of this, being my fault! I'm also angry and upset, because my brother doesn't give a monkey's behind about me,he makes me so upset, he'll say whatever he wants to me all my mom does is say, "both of you stop,I don't want to hear it".my brother is also very lazy, my mom will tell him to do something, but he won't, so i'll have to end up doing the chores (his).Then, my brother is a lier and he thinks he knows it all.he'll lie on me and get me in trouble.it makes me so angry. My step-day, oh, my step-dad. he abuses me, lies and denies it,i lie to protect him in court, so, he decides to come back to our house.I had a HUGE problem with that,my never even asked me if it was ok, that he came near me.after he had stayed for a while,i started turning evil at school, but acted like nothing was wrong at home. finally my friends got sick of me, so my best friend decided, we should talk to the counselor, she was very supportive, until they made her goto class, then it was just me.my mom had to come up to the school to talk with the counselors, and she told me that he wasn't staying permanently, he was just here temporarily, because my cousin's kids were over where he lived messing up his house and sleeping on his bed.she asked if that was ok. I wanted to yell out no, because she never even asked me if that was ok. then i get so mad, that her and my brother will leave me alone til' all hours of the night, to go hang out with my step dad. they've been to parties without me,get togethers, six flags, the world of coke and god knows where else.it makes me feel so left out, like i'm supposed to be some family secret, like i'm not supposed to be alive, so they're keeping me hidden, kind of like that book AMONG THE HIDDEN.yeah,feel just like one of those hidden kids.i've been keeping so much inside forever. thanks to everyone for listening to my ranting in raving, i just needed someone, anyone to talk to, who would understand. Oh yeah, my question is, am i just tripping for no reason? what should i do?Ever since i came home, i've been asking myself "go back into foster care, or not?".i would probaly do better in there, because when all these caseworkers and foster parents catch an attitude with me and disrespect me, atleast it's not my blood that hates me. My mom had forbidden me to tell my real dad, who lives in N.Y. about our "family Problems", as a father, i think he should know though, maybe he'll let be live with him, i don't dare tell him though, cuz my mom would be sooo angry. What should i do about that? once again, thanks for listening!!!!!!!!

OMG! I'M SOOO SORRY TO EVERYONE WHO HAS ANSWERED. MY MOM DID MAKE MY STEP DAD MOVE OUT, BUT WHEN HE DID, HE WAS DISREPECTFUL.
SORRY FOR FORGETTING TO TYPE THAT. BUT THANKS FOR ANSWERING ALREADY.

You have a school counselor for a reason. Go talk to them. They can help you out. Also, call your father anyway and tell him what's going on.

Click on this site. I think you will find much help here. Hope things improve for you. Wish you well. http://www.anxiety.com

Find a way to volunteer to help others. When you volunteer to help others, you would be amazed at how much it will actually help you. Be a help to someone else, and you will gain wonderful returns. Good luck.

Life is never easy and you seem to have a big slice of lifes problems. I would be tempted to tell my dad but only if I was sure he would have me.Is there any reason why he you are not living with him could you not have gone to him instead of foster care? Try not to take your troubles to school as you need to have friends to talk to and be with you. If nothing is readily available then you kmay have to return to foster care just to get away from your step dad. I hope you find happiness please just hang on in there. You will soon be old enough to leave home and then you will be able to run your own life. Take care and good luck

Look, first of all i know excactly what you are going trough because i felt the same way not long ago. I thought that everything was over for me but fortunately i was wrong. let me tell you that you need to stop thinking that everything is your fault because it isn't it's the person's that take advantage of you because you have a great heart. Avoid thinking about the sad things that happened in your life. think positive and let go the past is only that. think of it as if memories didn't exist. remember every end is a new begining. whenever you feel stressed out just go to your room and start thinking of something that you really enjoy. forget if people don't lisen to you. dont let that bother you at all you don't need for anyone to lisen we need actions. well i hope that my answer helps....much love hope you feel better.

Seriously, just tell yourself tomorrow is another day and everything will be alright. I felt those same emotions when i was younger and i was extremely depressed. to the point of suicide sometimes. but you have to learn to get past the things that get you down:

serenity prayer: "god, grant me the serenity to accept the things i can not change. The courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

This sounds familiar to me, as I had a difficult time in my teenage years as well. I am 34 now, and this is what I know for sure...
Don't let others dictate how you feel, your feelings belong to you!
Always tell a trusted family member if you are being abused no matter how scared you are or how mad you think people will get.
No matter how stressful it gets, never turn to drugs/alcohol, it will only make things worse in the long run.
Don't believe the lies you tell yourself about everything being your own fault...it's usually a combination of people contributing to the problem.
Try and keep positive and do your best. It's not going to help you to "get revenge" so just focus on being the best you that you can be.
Some family members can actually be toxic to your mental health. Sometimes a friend can actually be better for you than your own flesh and blood.
Stay focused and think often about your future. Remember that one day you will be on your own and living your own life that you created! So remember...all this is only temporary...things WILL get better!

WOW!! You are in deed suffering emotionally from the way you have been dealt with through the years. I have empathy for you and wish I could be there to help. You need to remember one thing about life. You only have one best friend, yourself!! Also you came into this world alone and will leave it alone. YOU need to do whatever it takes for you to be happy in life. If foster care will be a better place for you, then go back there.Also I suggest getting into a psychiatrist. You are in need of a professional at this point and time in your life. Only you can make you happy! Good luck!!!!!