Dissociative Identity Dissorder - Part II?

More Detail -

My husband HAS NOT signed a release for me to recieve information. His counselor was our marriage therapist, and has only spent about two hours with my husband total.

My son's therapist, and mine, suspect that my son has seen some of my husbands acting out sexually (cyber sex, meeting strangers) but we can't be certain as my son is only 4 years old.

How can I get info from the facility if he won't sign a release? I want to do what is best for our family as a unit, but my son comes first.

As of this afternoon, he spoke with his therapist and primary counselor. They agree that the 6 month extended care recommendation is optional and he can just come home. My therapist, and my son's therapist have told me they will call Children's Services and have my son placed in foster care if he re-enters the home. His therapist knows this, and told him to come home. He also refuses to give me a fee schedule, return my release, or details of charges that average $400 hr.

Your husband may have a mental disorder but he still has rights and if he is being released the agency must feel he can function in society. This does not mean they are right but they are only following the rules of the agency. If the doctor felt he should still be hospitalized they would ask for a Judicial Commitment. They can not keep him if they believe he is better. It is unfortunate that your husband is not giving you more information or including you in the discharge plane because it may help ease some of your fears. Since you do not have any proof that your son has seen your husband acting out sexually it may be difficult to prove. Also, I don't see how the therapist could have you son removed if he has no proof of abuse. What he has is a possible event in which your son saw your husband participating in cyber sex. How many children have walked on their parents having sex? I am not saying your reason is not valid or a reason for concern I am just saying it just may not be consider abuse or neglect.

So where does that leave you and your son? You are his mother and if you feel he has been affected by your husband sexual voyeurism please do everything possible to protect him. Do you have your own income, can you move out, is there a friend or family member you can stay with. Are you afraid of your husband? You may need to contact a women's shelter if you have run out of options. It may also be possible that your husband has gotten better but his disorder is too difficult for you to manage. If this is the case it may be time for you to start taking steps to dissolving the marriage and living on your own. It is very difficult to live with someone with a mental disorder especially someone with an Axis I of DID. I know right now you feel lonely, frustrated, and angry. It may appear that everyone is looking out for your husband but there are know options for you son. If I were you I would call child protection myself to start an investigation go with your guts because it is better to be safe than sorry.

With the new HIPAA laws, they can't even acknowledge that he is at that treatment facility. They surely won't give you any information on this treatment or discharge planning.
If he is released, you may not have to place your child in foster care. Find out what the involuntary hospitalization laws are in your state. If he's a danger to your son, you can do something about it.
For example, in VA, you can get an ECO (emergency custody order) or TDO (temporary detention order). An ECO can be requested by anyone and is valid for 4 hours. If the police can find your husband in those 4 hours, they will take him to the hospital to be evaluated. If he meets criteria, he will be rehospitalized. A TDO can only be requested by a trained emergency services professional with the permission of the magistrate. Call your local community mental health clinic or check the phone book for an emergency mental health line. A TDO is sometimes a quicker process, but by no means immediate. A TDO can place a person in the hospital for 48-72 hours. But if he is not a danger to himself or others, I'm sorry, but I'm not sure hwat else I can tell you.