My mom is threatening to quit her job/commit suicide and i have no one to take me in?

my mom has a severe depressive personality and my dad left 6 years ago so its been me&her since then. the past couple of weeks she's gotten worse and is threatening suicide or/and quitting her job this week. my dad has re married and him&his new wife hate me so i cant live with them. my counsellor once mentioned foster care to me, but if i leave my mom now she'll hate me, and i still want to try and help her. i'm 14. if she quits her job then we'll be in the gutter, school starts end of jan and she's even saying she cant be bothered letting me go. i have an older brother+sister, but they say they cant take me in unless they have financial help. i'm not sure what to do, i cant handle my home life anymore and i just want a normal life. do i run away? talk to my counsellor? i just dont know...

I think you should talk to your counselor, and if you need to be in a foster house go, I mean you can help your mom but she needs to get treatment otherwise you would become depressed as well.
You are too young, don't make people let you feel responsible of your mother's welfare. it is easy to see you have had a difficult life.
God loves you and He will take care of you and your mom!

You should call the Befriender ask for help or the pastor of any nearby church. Only God can helps u. Seek and u will get the answer.

You have to get help for you and your mother. The school counselor is trained to help, but I don't think you want to wait until school starts. Do you have a friend's parent or relative you can tell? Tell him/her what you have told us. I'm sure he/she will help or hook you up with someone else who can. No one should have to face this situation alone. Good luck.

look, life is tough, but one day you'll be much stronger. what you're going through ins't easy at all but even though it may seem like you're alone you really aren't. i believe in god and that he has a plan to each one of us. i think in this situation you should try to help her. talk to her, tell her how much u need her to be there for u. that u dont want her to do the same as ur dad; leave. tell her she's beautful, and that life isn't over yet, just because someone hurt her. help her to raise her self-esteem. and you should try getting a part time, it helps. she's wasting time being depressing about someone that doesn't care, if someone is capable of leading a person to suicide then he's not for her anyways. she needs to enjoy her life, and know that she's not alone. talk to a counselor it helps alot. i hope the best for u.

i think you need to worry about your mother more than where you are goin to live! try talkin o her tel her you love er and you cant put up with all this anymore! i also think you need to speak to your caunsellor about ths problem.

It is not your responsibility to take care of your mother. So you should not worry about her hating you if you live with someone else, if she was mentally healthy it would not be an issue. It is your responsibility to do well in school and obtain the foundation that will make you a self-sustaining member of society when you become an adult. That said, you need help where your mother is concerned, so you need to talk to a trusted adult. If your mother is indeed suicidal you may be able to get her committed to a psychiatric facility by going to the local District Court.

wow. I am so very sorry to hear you are going thru this, especially at such a young and impressionable age.
I am almost afraid to answer this, I dont want to steer you in the wrong direction sweetie but this is very serious and complicated.
IS YOUR MOM IN ANY TYPE OF COUNCILING HERSELF ?? if she is, contact who she is in counciling / therapy with. Give that person your sister and brother and fathers phone numbewrs asnd addresses to contact for you so that person can sort-out for you where you will go if you need to go temporarilly somewhere while your mom gets extra help. Is your mom suppose to be on depression medications ? do you know, is she taking her medications ? TELL your mom you love and need her and that it upsets you when she says these things and ask her if she means what she says ?
if this continues, reguardless of what you think your dad feels, you need to tell your father exactly what your mom is threatening to do to herself,even if you have to mail the man a letter.
As for your older sister / brother, explain to them there is FINANCIAL HELP AVAILABLE if they take you in, all they need to do is become your legal-guardian thru family court and family court can then advise them on how to get finacial assistence to help out.
yes i think you will need to tell your councililor what is going on at some point iof your mom continues this behavior, you have yourself to think about. but first talk again to your older sister and brother.
if your mother does attempt suicide call 911 immediately. if she goes into a yelling and crying fit threatening suicide call 911.
when the police come give them your sister and your brother and your fathers phone numbers and addresses, the police WILL sort-out for you where you will go.
Im sorry that I dont know what else to tell you.
I hope and pray that your mom will get better and that she wont do what she has threatened to do. sometimes depressed people think about suicide and dont do it, but sadly sometimes depressed people try to do it, no threats should go untalked about. ( Im sorry ).
please know this :
what is going on is NOT your fault. and whatever happens in the future is NOT your fault.
your mom needs help. check out : www.webmd.com and type in DEPRESSION and read all about it. it may help you to understand the disease of depression.
I hope I have helped in some way.

That is messed up what your mom is putting you through. Doesn't sound like depression, sounds like she wants you to feel sorry for her. My dad was the same way except he would talk about his parents and the horrible childhood he had and tell me and my brother that we are going to make him die because we were putting to much stress on his weak heart. My advice is your going to be an adult soon so let this be a learning experience for you. I really can't say how to handle your mom but remind yourself she chose this way of living. Good luck. Call a hotline and go through the yellow pages, they have a bunch of phone numbers you can call.

Like many people are saying. I think you need to talk to your counsilor about it. One thing, your mom needs help, professional help. Since she's been diagnosed with a severe depressive personality she might be or should be taking medication. And to do that she's either seeing a psychiatrist or a doctor. She needs to talk to her doctor or whoever about these impulses or desires to quit her job and commit suicide. You need to try to remain strong. No one deserves to be in a position like this.

OMG, my heart is breaking for you child. I cannot believe the horrible responsibility you have upon you. wow. If your older siblings gave ANY **** at all, they would take you in. But I do understand not wanting to leave your mom, even though she seems incapable of taking care of you. If you go to a school counselor, they will more than likely get Child Protective Services involved.......this is NOT GOOD!, Have you talked with your mom, I mean, really sat her down and really impressed upon her that you NEED HER? I understand her side here too, how your dad could do that is incomprehensible to me.
I say you get real serious, real fast....with mom. Tell her that if she doesnt do something (such as JUST TRYING some antidepressants or seeking Christ JESUS), then she will only continue to feel this despair (that your asshole dad significantly contributed to). I know that you are only 14, but unfortunately, you have to work up the courage to be very pro-active here. You have to get her attention, tell her to think back to when she first held you after she gave birth to you, remind her of joy that has since passed. Remind her that it is not the end of the world that your dad has moved on,....that his moving on was perhaps the Lord's way of making such space available to someone who will love your mom much more.....idk?
Seek out a good, bible believing church, find a friend there who will help you both out. If it comes down to your mother refusing the inner strength to pull herself up again, then you might want to get your ducks in a row about where you can stay. A GOOD Christian church will help you. I will be praying for you, I am so sorry you have to go thru this. GOD BE WITH YOU!!!!~~~7

i think she is just feeling depressed and just saying that maybe you can get her to talk to someone.of course if you live with someone they willsay they need rent food, and stuff like that.

Swami Sukhabodhananda
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One youngster comes to me very depressed and asks this question "Why is God creating so many difficulties for us? How to handle stress?" I tell this youngster to reflect on this beautiful story:

A man goes to a shop, picks up a beautiful cup and says "my god this cup is so beautiful" and suddenly the cup starts talking to the man. The cup starts saying "O man, I am beautiful right now, but what was the state of my being before the pot-maker made me a beautiful pot?

Before I was sheer mud and the pot-maker pulled me out of the mud from the mother earth and I felt why that pot-maker is so cruel, he has separated me from mother earth. I felt a tremendous pain. And the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me and churned me, when I was churned I felt so giddy, so painful, so stressful, I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me into a oven and heated me up, I felt completely burnt. There was tremendous pain and I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait."

Then he poured hot paint on me and I felt the fume and the pain, I again asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then again he put me into an oven and heated it to make me more strong, I felt life is so painful hence pleaded the pot-maker and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." And after that the pot-maker took me to the mirror and said, "Now look at yourself". And surprisingly I found myself so beautiful.

When god gives us lot of trouble, it appears god is very cruel but we need patience and we have to wait. When bad things happen to good people, they become better and not bitter.

So all difficulties are part of a cosmic design to make us really beautiful. We need patience, we need understanding, we need the commitment to go through in a very calm and wise way. So all difficulties are not to tumble us but to humble us.

With this understanding, let us not be against difficulty. Understand difficulty is a part of a purifying process. A purifying process at present which we cannot understand and hence we need faith and we need trust.

Let us understand how to handle stress with this background. You can be affected by stress from two angles. There is an internal stress and there is an external stress. Nobody can avoid stress; one has to only manage stress. Managing stress can be internal and also external.

The internal stress is; your thoughts can create stress, your values can create stress, and your beliefs can create stress, meaning thereby your stress is coming from your mind more from the outer world. Many people suffer not from heart attack - they suffer from thought-attack.

For example, when somebody says you are an idiot, we get so hurt, we get so victimised. My boss has called me an idiot and I am feeling tremendous pain. Now where does this stress come from? If my boss has called me an idiot, I have to ask myself "am I an idiot"?

If I am an idiot nothing to be upset about; and if I am not an idiot, then also nothing to be upset about! It is the perception of the boss. But why do we suffer from that stress? I suffer not because my boss has called me an idiot but because of the thought-attack.

I may say the boss has called me an idiot; therefore I am suffering? It is true that the words are unpleasant. But what hurts is the interpretation of the unpleasant word. The thought in me interprets. That is pain and therefore it becomes pain. Much of our stress is our mind interpreting it as pain. So we suffer from thought-attack more than heart attack.

Talk more about it to ur counceler have you tried telling ur mom how u feel?

You have to understand that your mother is very sick (emotionally) and that she is trying to control you, and in effect make you the mother of her. This is very wrong and very unnatural. I hope you can hold on and live with her if you can't find a better place to live (family or relative) in the meantime. The years will quickly go and soon you'll be 18 and able to leave. Try to dissociate yourself from her "Needy, Unstable" feelings she displays towards you. Become NUMB to them. Because right now you need to be strong for YOU! It is unlikely that your mother will actually kill herself. She is saying this as a cry for help! And you are not old enough to get her the help she needs. Don't let her use you. BE STRONG honey, soon you'll be on your own. Try to find support groups on-line for abused teenagers. And if you ever need anyone to talk to, please write me.

wow- i feel ur pain. first talk to ur counsellor. they will guide you in the direction you should go... for now until school starts up, just go and hang with friends and try to keep ur mind off of things and stay away from ur mom

If she has threatened suicide, you need to call 9-1-1 right now so she can get help.

Don't run away, you'll wind up being exploited and abused.

Here are some numbers for you.

SUICIDE PREVENTION

Suicide & Crisis Hotline 1-800-999-9999 Help for Troubled Teens

National Hope Line Network 1-800-784-2433 Suicide Prevention



SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT IT TO

Talk Zone 1-800-475-TALK Peer Counselors

Teen Help Line 1-800-400-0900 Help Line For Troubled Teens

Teen Hot Line 1-800-747-8336 Hot Line For Troubled Teens

VOICES In Action, Inc. 1-773-327-1500

Youth Development International 1-800-HIT-HOME (448-4663) Youth Crisis Hotline

Turn to Jesus and let God help you.

I am so very sorry for what you have to go through so young. My mom has been pulling the same stuff on me as well, but it didn't start happening (at least to my knowledge) until I was around 18 years old. I have always been my mom's special "helper." Helping around the house all the time, listening to her problems, and other stuff no child should really have to do for parents. I have moved out a few times and am now out permanently. I am currently living with my boyfriend like 2 hours away from her. She has been remarried since I was 2 years old.

My mom started her depression/suicide talk when i was 18. At first it was she was a bad mother because I was having my own emotional issues. After her and I resolving that it was my step dad that did it. She found out he had an affair and pretty much has been threatening to kill her self since.

I have noticed in the years of growing up I have done, I have come to this conclusion: I can not take care of my mom. There should be no reverse rolls in that relationship. It has been so bad before that I didn't go home for three days. (made it worse.) What I am trying to tell you is you have a chance to get out. I have been taking care of my parents since I was around 18 years old. Financially and other wise. If you can go to foster care. I could not. I had a father that would have taken me in if he would have known. But "What is said in this house stays in this house" came to mind everytime I wanted to shout out how much pain I was in. I wish you would tell your counselor, school should be starting very very soon. If it hasn't already. ANd get OUT, like yesterday. I wish you the best of luck. And don't worry about your mom. She will eventually learn how to deal with loss and cope with change. If you need any help or have any questions, please don't be afraid to contact me. lostangelsoul00@hotmail.com

Please please don't do what I did. Your mom will be okay. I am no longer my mom's crutch, and she is still alive and breathing. She doesn't hate me and she has learned to deal better that I am gone.

Oh Dear, I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. I don't know your religious background, but do know that God loves you. As difficult as that maybe to believe right now, just know that he does. Pray and ask him to help you, which I am sure you do now or have done at some point in your life. Sometimes the answer to prayers don't come right away or in the way we expect. I can only imagine how much you love your mom and how devoted you have been to her throughout your little life. Continue to tell her you love her and that you need her, but don't expect her to show improvement right away, if ever at all. If you have high expectations of her, you will only be disappointed. Ultimately, only your mom can decide to turn things around for herself. At any rate, I know you are looking for advice on what specifically to do, so here are some options that I can think of...

1. Try to convince your mom to go see a professional and talk about her feelings and go on medication or change medications (if she is already on anti-depressant). Let her know that many people go through depression and there is hope, if she will only reach out

2. If your brother and sister are really serious about possibly taking you in, then they can get help from the government to take care of you (if they are over 18) and can prove that your mother is mentally not able to care for you right now and that they don't have enough income to support you. Tell your bro/sis to call their local department of social services

3. Go to a church in your area and talk to the pastor and/or his wife about your situation

I imagine that you are afraid and fearful most of the time, but someday you will be able to be of help to others in your situation, if you don't give up. Remember, none of this is your fault, you didn't choose the life you were born into. It all has a purpose, that you will find out someday.

Jesus loves you, although it may be hard to believe right now.

Although I don't know you, my heart goes out to you and I feel love for you as though you were my sister.

Lou-Annie