My mom and i don't get along?!?

Ok....lately my mom and i haven't been getting along AT ALL! It's imposible to talk to her too because then she'll just yell at me even more. And she always makes me feel like a screw-up and i already have low self esteem. Should i just ignore her and stuff. Like the other day i got grounded for the weekend because i was on the computer talking to my friend and she thought i was doing something wrong when i wasn't so i got frustrated and she grounded me! Please help me! Talking to her is out of the question. My dad also has the same problem with her. We also do foster care and rite now i think that she loves the 8 year old girl more than me and i have grown really jealous of her and i always fuss at my little sister because the other girl doesn't ever get into trouble even though she's bad my mom never yells at her. but when my mom get aggravated with her, she'll yell at me for something dumb! please help! thanks!

Your mom sounds overwhelmed right now and may be taking out her frustrations on you. Stay calm. Don't argue the point. When things settle down, ask your mom what is wrong? If she isn't willing to discuss it ask if you two can decide to talk later, that you need to because you are feeling very near to tears. I hope she hears you.

Your mom is obviously stressed. You get it in the neck and so does your dad.
She should go and see the doctor. It could be menopausal problems. It makes the sweetest ladies into monsters sometimes.
See if you can persuade her to see a doctor.

either ask her to go to the doctor [which she'll probably say no to and ground you] OR talk to a guidance counselor at school and see what they say about it [i reccomend this one.]

good luck and don't give up :D

Firstly i thought how really good of you to find a place in your home for a little 8yr old ..that's very admirable . Ahh your Mum , was most probably concerned about your use online .. that's just motherly concern .. i have 3 grown up daughters , and yep some times Mum s do carry on a bit ,, and maybe it is the time for your Mum . Why not try making her feel a bit special , a nice cuppa .. or just a hug from her elder daughter please dont feel jealousy as you must be so special to her ..Good Luck ...

I think your Mum doesn't realise just how snappy she's being at the moment.

I can understand the strain she may be under, sometimes it is really hard to shoulder all the responsibilities of being a parent, and then to be a foster carer too!

You MUST talk to her. Keeping quiet will screw you up, and won't solve anything. And your Mum won't know how unhappy you are, so she won't be able to alter the situation. Also, not speaking to your Mum will probably make things much worse, and you even more unhappy.

Try to deal with this in a grown up way. Keep hold of your temper, and talk slowly so that you don't work up a temper. Ask your Mum if she can spare you15 minutes to talk about something important. Let her choose a suitable time.

Sit down with her and tell her that you are unhappy. Tell her that you understand that she has lots of responsibilities and a lot of work to do, but that you and your sister miss having special time with her and sometimes feel 'left out'. DON'T have a go about the other little girl, you will get your feelings over better by just telling her how unhappy you are. She can draw her own conclusions - she won't need it spelling out.

I know that when I had step-children, my children felt very like you do. They did just what I'm suggesting that you do. I was trying SO hard to be a good stepmother that I didn't realise that my children were feeling left out. And after they told me, I made sure that I treated them more fairly!

Try to arrange with her for you and your sister, to have some time alone with her, say, once a week or once a fortnight. Perhaps you could go girly shopping together? Perhaps your Dad could take the 8 year-old to the park? And at other times, you could go out with him, and your Mum could do something with the other little girl?

I'm sure she doesn't mean to be unfair to you, by grounding you, but sometimes, it is easier just to snap out a punishment, without considering it properly.

Whatever you do, keep caaaaaaalm, and talk to her 'woman to woman'. I know, as a parent to five, how unfair we can be, at times, and how necessary it is to just stop, and put myself in my child's position, and look at the situation from his/her viewpoint.

Try also, to talk to your Dad about this. He could be a good support and will be able to see things from a grown-up's point of view.

I hope this will help you to tackle this situation and work things out with your Mum.

If you need someone to 'talk' to about this, you are welcome to email me.

Very best wishes. :-)