Please help me... i'm really SCARED and CONFUSED :( ....?

i suffer from depression. i am in a sophmore in college. i am also an occasional cutter. sometimes the depression gets a lot worse. i used to have a really good counselor that i really liked but she left. i've tried others but i didnt like them as much as her. i'm so lost as to what i should do. i think about death a lot. my grandmother died last year. my mom and i arent close b/c she has a drug problem and my little sister is still in foster care - they wont let me see her or know anything about her. i dont have any other family and i feel so empty inside. my grades are so low and if i fail at college, then i'm gonna be homeless. sometimes i think i should try to kill myself again but i dont want to hurt the ppl that i've gotten close too at school. they all did so much to help me succeed - i dont wanna let them down. i'm also really scared that i will suffer like i did the last time i tried.i know i need help but i just dont know what to do. i cant seem to get rid of the depression

yes, the counseling center @ my college is where i met the counselor that i really liked but she left and now there's someone else down there. i met her too but dont like her very much and everytime i go into that building, i just miss my old counselor even more so it just makes things worse for me.

Have you been to the counseling center at your college? Problems like yours are just what they are there for, they are a Godsend. If it's like it is at my school, it's also free for currently enrolled students. I hope this helps. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you! I promise, it gets better. I've been to hell and back and I can honestly say, it only gets better. :) Please take care of yourself.

for depression that bad its always a really good idea to see a psychiatrist and get a prescription. i, myself, hate medication but sometimes its the only way to feel better. dont worry, itll get better.

no, dont hurt yourself! talk to someone, don't worry, things will work out!! good luck :)

I've felt the same way you do. I only barely survived my depression. I'm not telling you that to "promise everything will be ok" because I know how ridiculous it sounds to you. But DON'T KILL YOURSELF. Set goals to go on for an hour or a day or whatever works for you. Meanwhile find some help. A friend, a hotline, whatever. Call or go to the hospital if you think you can't stop yourself from hurting yourself. I don't know what else to say. If you want you can email me at tony3295 at yahoo.com.

talk to those people that are your friends and let them know how you are feeling and if they know a way for you to get any help, to please let you know

and no, please, dont try and commit suicide, that could be the reason why, you can't see your little sister cause they see it as a risk.

you need to prove yourself that you can succeed, and you never k now, one of this days, be able to take care of your little sister. Why dont take that as a goal to better yourself and battle this depression??

I hope you get the help you need and good luck

I know you miss your old counselor, but this new one could also be the help you really need. Give it a try, and dont set into that determination of not licking her when you havent even given her a chance

Oh nena. You sound just like me two years ago. My depression started when I was 12 and I sought help my first year of college.

First, seek another counselor. In your case, like in mine, a cognitive-behavioral therapist might be best, so you can learn to change the thinking and behavior that goes with your depression.

Talk to your doctor or doctor on campus or psychiatrist. I'm sure there are resources at school. They can start you on an anti-depressant if you want to try them. I have been on citalopram (Celexa) and Effexor, but then they found out I had bipolar disorder.

Blog, write, sing out loud, dance.
You may not want to bathe. Bathe anyway.
Comb your hair.

I know it's hard. I know so well. At my worst, I stopped bathing, I stopped doing my laundry, I stopped going to class, I stopped eating, and I cried and slept all day for weeks. Then, the put me in a psych ward.

If you feel that you can't control yourself and you're going to harm yourself, call the Suicide Hotline 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or call a trusted friend. If you want, I'll be that friend. I empathize with you and I understand where you're coming from.

I know it's hard, but I got through it and I believe you can get through it. E-mail me if you want: brujamada@yahoo.com. Sometimes you can find me online. If you need a chat buddy, we can exchange numbers.

I'm sending you lots of love, ma. Please take care of yourself. I know you feel really really bad right now, but you will get better. I know it. In the meantime, exercise to get those endorphins up (happy chemicals) and get lots of sunlight.

Hugs and kisses.
<3
Your friend!

You definitely need to find someone else to continue to talk to. I started seeing a social worker about 2 months now because I was a victim of a violent crime and i was sure I was over it...without anybody's help. I also have other issues and just found out about 2 weeks ago that I was depressed. I didn't even know there was a name for what I was experienced all of my life.
My social worker even said that he was going to recommend someone to me because he feels I need to be on medication and it sounds like YOU too may need the same thing.

GET HELP ASAP!! You can't do this alone. That's what I did for many, many years and I suffered. Now I'm looking forward to starting medication to live a more stable life.

Good luck. You are not alone!

I'm sooo sorry about your situation. I know it's hard for you but I have been through similar phases. I know you think I don't understand, and your probably right. First, try studying with a friend that cheers you up. This will imroveyour gades and your social activity. It is not necessary for medicatino unless you have chosen all alternatives. Don't commit suicide. that is a horrible thing to do and will only increase your problems, not relieve them. YOu have so much more to do in your life, do not stop no.
You rock! :=)

I really hear a lot of pain and emptiness in your post. The reality is that it is unlikely you will get the help you need here, so other than just reaching out for a kind word, this isn't the place. You are in a dark space right now and you are afraid. What you are feeling is OK, it is real, it is what is so in this moment.

The only wisdom I can hopefully convey to you is this. Things will get better. They will I promise. You may need help to get out of the darkness you now feel, but life is good. It is sweet. We are surrounded by grace all the time even when we don't realize it . Sometimes when we are in the "dark night of the soul" is when we are most open to the love and joy that life can offer us. We have nothing to loose and we become open to it.

Seek out help, and please don't hurt yourself more than you already hurt.

you have a lot to be depressed about. but that doesn't mean that you have let the depression win. you are a strong person, you graduated high school and now your in college and you don't have much of a support system. so what if your grades aren't so good now, you can do better next semester. it is normal to get bad grades sometimes and be distracted but it doesn't mean that you have to let that reality take you. f**k that. your life is worth so much more

when you wake up tomorrow morning take a deep breath and say "i'm just fine" take another deep breath and say "today is a new day" take a deep breath and say "i am fantastic" take a deep breath and say "i can do anything" take a deep breath and say " i am my reality" take a deep breath and say "i can be anything" take a deep breath and say "i am the Creator of my reality and i choose happiness" take a deep breath and say " i am happy" and just keep going. you will be surprised how lots of oxygen and positive thoughts will alter your perception.

i believe in you
i need you to feel good about yourself
because we are all connected
there is no beginning and no end
love yourself and you are sharing a gift with the whole universe.

ya sometime its really hard when such bad things happen ... it can sometimes be very difficult to cope up with them . But let me tell you one thing - never lose hope my friend . Youre just in college n ive been through situations like this too and so i can really understand you and your problems . The key to really get rid of it is to think about the good things thatve happened to you in life ... Just see how your friends love you . n how much theyve strived for you . Just think of em when you really feel depressed . Think of living for them n for yourselves because as you see , your life is very valuable for a lot of people . Just think that way n Whoa!!!! just see how big a family you have ... n about your sister .. i think it would be better for her to be in foster care rather than face life like you at her small age ..... wouldnt it ?? N about grades in college .. ive got loads of friends here who got F grade in college but earn 5 digit salaries .... Its just that maybe its not your best strength ... but know that everyone , including you have special talents . The key is to understand them n polish them up ok ...... AND NEVER EVER THINK ABOUT SUICIDE pal .... Coz you see ... Youre life is worth a lot!!! ... so live for those who love you and i promise you ... Lifes just started .. and it always goes on for the better .... Take care :)

I'm sorry about your grandmother dying and your family problems. I asked the Lord into my life many years ago and He has helped me and blessed me a lot. I'll pray for you. Try reading the Bible (New Testament first). Look for a good church.
"Casting all your care on Him, for He cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7
Here are some Bible verses to look up: Philippians 4:6,7; Proverbs 3:5,6; John 3:16; Romans 10:13; Romans 5:8; Romans 3:23.
God loves you. He has a plan for your life and suicide is not it.

I suffer from anxiety and depression due to PTSD. I understand your feelings and I know with a little work things will be better. As a friend please listen to those who wanna help. One of the main questions you are asked from any psych or counselor is do you wanna harm yourself or others, you already answered yes, Please talk to someone or turn yourself into the hospital. from there you have the opportunity to get the meds you desperately need or find the person you can be comfortable talking to. Try this avenue you may be surprised in what you find.
you can e-mail me and exchange numbers

Faith in you!!
Jeff in Ms.

Hey Jamie, i have a couple things for you to try because i cannot see a healthy man such as yourself trying to kill yourself, nothing and i mean nothing can't be worked out and over come, or that bad in my opinion. Ever walk through a childrens hospital? Little kids in there that would give anything to have a chance at life and you want to throw yours away? Listen I'm not lecturing im trying to help the only way i know. There two books you can get at the library, one is called Conversations with GOD by: Neale Donald Walsh Very enlightening and motivational, the other is a book or you can rent the movie, it's called the SECRET by: Rhonda Byrnes another very good and motivational program that teaches you to have do and be anything you want in life. Including helping your mother and getting your little sister, and finish college. Perhaps you could turn this around and help kids like yourself... Come on nothing is that bad unless you make it like that, and thats fake. I could fill this page with motivational people with success stories from people that had there entire bodies burned off and lived then became crippled in a plane accident and wound up with his own business, and running for govener of Vermont totall happy. His ******* toes had to be sewn onto his figers so he could manipulate stuff he was burned so bad and completely happy with himself... I've had friends that been through veitnam getting their asses shot off and watching their best friends blown into smears on the ground right next to them, and they live happily.... Othhers came back basket cases but each one made the experience what they made it, You understand what i'm getting at??? Dont be a chicken man! Go get your sister, your a grown man if you make it a true desire to see her you'll get there! If you make it a true desire to finish college, you'll get there too!!! They didn't get to the moon by sitting around cutting themselves saying i'll never get there, Just do it!!! And read those books they'll help you. Up til now maybe your life hasn't been good, so what! Alot of people and i mean alot are very successfull because they tried. Steven Speilberg isnt a movie producer because someone gave him a shot, he snuck into an abandoned trailer on a movie lot and finally found someone to watch one of his movies. Billy Joel the singer? He lived in a dumpster hooked on dope before he decided to take control, Cornial Sanders the KFC guy, was dead broke at age 65 and he had this good chicken recipe and took it around the country in his car til someone bought it, it goes on and on and on... You can have a great life kiddo dont waste it, but if you do atleast donate your kidneies or something so someone that wants to live can have a chance!!!

heyy gurlie.. im really sorry about wat ur having to go thru...plz dont give up hope. i know it must be hard to focus on ur studies while all this is going on, but u need to stay strong..take onestep at a time...i really wish i cud help u somehow...if u need financial assistance, believe me, ill try my best and yeah ill pray for u...God bless