Video games skrewed me up man what do i do?

spent 16 yrs in foster care waiting to be old enough to over ride family services stuff that was stoping me from seeing my dad, finally got in contact and my dad turned out to be an alcholic drug dealer and he rejected me, so from age 16 to 18 i went a a video game bender and very poor diet(patato chips and coke) now i suffer from:
NAUSEA, HEADACHS, DEPRESSION LOW SELF ESTEAM, PARANOYA, WAKING UP AT MIDNIGHT IN A PANICED STATE, ALTERD VISION, IM BUILT LIKE A RAKE, I FAIL AT EVERTHING, NOTHING LOOKS REAL, FEAR OF DIEING, FITS OF RAGE, I WANNA FORCE A COP TO SHOT ME,

I WONT SEE A DOC EVEN IF YOU PUT A GUN TO MY HEAD what do i do and how long will it take?

Ask God to forgive you and ask Jesus into your life. He will deliver you and heal you, then go find a church where the word of God is preached, in all the fullness of salvation, deliverance, and healing and talk to the Pastor. Second choice you can email me if you are serious about getting help, which I believe you are or you would not have put this question on here. God loves you and wants to help you,

Sounds like your ready for the U.S. Army, my friend!

Get out there and serve your country, We need you!

You'll be fine. Everyone goes through these things. Since you have now identified the problem, the rest is a piece of cake.

That fear of dieing thing coupled with wanting to force a cop to shoot you is an interesting dilemma, wouldn't you say?

go for a nice relaxing drive and try to aim for the pedestrians like gta

pray to Jesus...ask and you shall receive..seek and you shall find..knock and the door shall be opened...There is hope

go see the doctor m8 ! and stop playing them ..must suck to be you right now!! hope ya sort it out soon and start living life how it was meant to be lived..

You forgot to mention ILLITERACY on your list of symptoms.