Why do I worry?!?

I am 21 and constantly worry about something. Usually it involves a guy...the guy Im dating, or the last guy I dated. But I dont understand why. I KNOW I have nothing to worry about...I cant seem to help it! I was in foster care for 2 years, and my dad died when I was 12. My mom remarried soon after. I was in counseling for 2 years but didnt speak a word b/c I was uncomfortable. I sometimes wonder if it's all catching up to me, and maybe Im just afraid to lose the people close to me. Any suggestions as to how I can chill out???? I stress over the smallest things, and I take everything personally. Any suggestions?? Ive tried to do things to get my mind off whatever it is I worry about, but that doesnt seem to help...its almost like I would rather mope around. Thanks a lot!!!

but any suggestions as to how i can chill out when i get down?

I hope I don't sound like I'm oversimplifying your problem, but it doesn't seem complicated. Your unsteady and tragic childhood taught you not to trust your situation at all. It showed you that all good things come to an abrupt and unexpected end. It's no wonder that you stress out no matter how well things are going-- the past has shown you that if you let your guard down, disasters happen.

The solution to your problem must come as a change in the way you view the world. You have to understand that a peaceful day even if followed by a heartbreaking night is far, far better than a day spent in fear. We convince ourselves that our vigilance, our readiness, our anxiety can somehow prevent terrible things from happening, when in truth, they're beyond our control.

Bad things can always happen, and bad things will undoubtedly happen. All you can do is take realistic precautions and keep a box of Kleenex on hand. I can tell you from experience that, when faced with a colossally horrible event, it doesn't help you a bit if you'd been worrying about it for the past ten years. It just gives you the satisfaction of knowing your fears were right, and traps you into becoming even more fearful. That's no way to live a life.

I really wish there was more to offer you, but that's all I've been able to figure out. I spent my teens and early twenties afflicted by an anxiety disorder, and though it took some serious mauling of my thought patterns, I've finally been able to relax during the past few years. I hope you can find the same peace.

I think that It is a genetic thing. My mother worried about everything, she even worried when she had nothing to worry about. My daughter and my one niece inherited it.

You say:

"I sometimes wonder if it's all catching up to me, and maybe Im just afraid to lose the people close to me."

and answered your own question.

Being in foster care, losing your dad and having a stepdad who suddenly came on the scene can't have been easy for you.
How was your relationship with your stepfather?

I think you're afraid of losing someone you love, that you're not going to be loved for who you are, that men are sh&*s who go away and don't come back.

How long ago did you have counselling? Do you feel ready to go through it now? (the fact you're posting this question so openly suggests that yes, you are).

It may help you to write down the good things about your life, and the bad things. Write down who you are and who you want to be. Consider where you are in life and where you'd like to be. Set small goals for yourself that are easy to achieve, then reach out for bigger, long term goals.
It's a lot easier said than done, and it is possible to do it on your own, and that being said, if you can find a good psychologist that you trust and can be open with, you may heal quicker.

Good luck.

I am also same like u.BUt i cannot do anything about it.

blah blah... I'm sorry for hearing about your foster care but that has nothing to do with it... its more of a lie those counsellors ram into your brain so you come back for more... how you handle things is based entirely on your personality... if you worry a lot, that's just you... every person has something weird about them, you happen to worry about everything... I could sit here and tell you general ways to deal with stress but I will be honest and tell you straight you that no matter what anyone tells you it will only be a guess that most likely will not work... finding the best way of dealing with it is entirely up to you... with trial and error method evenrually you will find something that works for you... usually not having time to worry by being busy with something helps... but keeping yourself busy is a task up to you... I can't tell you what to do since... well... I don't really know you... but best of luck to you and I hope you find a productive way to deal with this!

Everyone worries to some extent even though we know it won't achieve anything. Meditation tapes are good, find a quiet spot in your home, lie down close your eyes and go into your imagination with the tape, really can work. Yoga is great for relaxation, and your health too. I love to just sit on my own by the water sometimes and close my mind off from all my worries. I am concerned that you are at a point that you would rather mope about the house, depression is a very common problem in this day and age, and sometimes short term treatment, medical, is all that is required. I feel your dad passing over when you were so young makes you have a genuine fear about losing someone else close to you, but hey may not happen again for many years to come. Once you accept that dying is a part of life, and we probably all go to a better place then you will be able to live your life to the fullest. I hope this helps. Take care of yourself

I can鈥檛 tell you why you worry, but I can tell you why I worried.

Somewhere I picked up the idea that if I worried enough and behaved properly, people would like me and I could avoid problems. It didn鈥檛 work! After finding myself toking on the business end of a 20 gauge shotgun, wondering if I was doing the world a favor. I realized it wasn鈥檛 working. I had to stop worrying about things I had no control over and just live life as best as I could, my life depended on it. People will like me or not. If I am honest in my actions at least those that hate me will hate me for the right reasons. Things will turn out the way they will and I鈥檓 not so powerful that I can change it. Even this modest effort can have no effect on you without your consent. I can only change my tiny little corner of the world.

Good luck

Critical thinking consists of the mental process of analyzing or evaluating information, particularly statements or propositions that people have offered as true. It forms a process of reflecting upon the meaning of statements, examining the offered evidence and reasoning, and forming judgments about the facts.

Critical thinkers can gather such information from observation, experience, reasoning, and/or communication. Critical thinking has its basis in intellectual values that go beyond subject-matter divisions and which include: clarity, accuracy, precision, evidence, thoroughness and fairness.
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Find a hobby ?


Do you worry 'cause you are afraid to be left alone again ?