Mental Breakdown...?

I'm close. I've got severe depression issues. My job has me basically dealing with drunks, junkie, homeless, thugs, and the insane. I keep them in line, while weathering psychological abuse for hours. When I began doing this job, I was a lot stronger, but it has been almost 8 years now. A co-worker took off three weeks, forcing me to work most of the 120 hours he took, 60-70 hour weeks with ten hour night shifts. I'm also taking masters coursework PT in evenings before I go to work. Like water torture for the mind. I've struggled to get where I am through a broken childhood and years in foster/group/detention care. My wife scaled back work hours (20-30) and complains she is stressed too. I've stopped talking to friends and family, and gone into a kind of secluded apathy. But the mental abuse at work is making me feel on the verge of exploding. I was given prozac but don't like how it feels. It's hard to find anyone to talk to that I trust and feel cares, but who is independent.

Just to add I did try the EAP (employee assist. program) once but they were not very helpful, the manner in which they spoke made me feel they just wanted to crank me back to work. As for the Prozac, I worry my doctor will get on my case for not taking it and honestly I don't think its enough or that anyone realizes how severe things are.

read: yogananda

Call this line just to talk to someone safe you can relate this all to. It's annonymous

Call 1-800-273-TALK / 1-800-273-8255

Maybe these forums would help too! They sometimes have professionals answering questions.

Chat and Forum sources for depression:

http://www.depressionchat.com/

http://www.mixednuts.net/home.html...

http://www.journeytowardsfreedom.com/...

http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/i...
You have a lot on your plate right now! Hang in there.

Does your place of employment have an employee assistance program? I have found them to be very helpful for this sort of thing. They are on your side and will help you so you can continue your job (if you want to continue).
Maybe it's time you had a job change? I'd start looking for something else. Sometimes a job will appear that is just the right fit just when I need it most.
Talk with your MD about the Prozac. There are other medications that will be effective. Thru trial and error you will find one that does the job without objectionable side effects.
Maybe consider taking a term off school to get yourself feeling less stressed.
Good luck.
Addendum: Your doctor can't help you unless you are honest about not taking the Prozac and your belief that it is not enough for how bad things are. Go to the MD and honestly lay it out.
Did employee assistance actually crank you back to work? or was it just a feeling you had? Sometimes when one is extremely stressed and close to the breaking point, feelings aren't 100% reliable. I'd go back to them. They may be able to get your work hours changed so you are not rrequired to cover xtra hours for co worker vacations. Likely it's going to be a little relief here and a little relief there rather than one big fix.

Wow Hun you are just about all burn out huh. You need to take some time out here or you will have that breakdown. The strongest thing you can do is listen to your body, it is screaming at you to stop and you have to listen to it.Tell your boss immediately, ask him for extra staff to take some of the load off you, or he is going to lose you all together.The job you do is a demanding one , emotionally and physically. You are taking on way to much here with the job, day to day life, and the course you are doing also, something has to give here, before its you.
You have to get yourself out of this dark place you are falling into, there is help out there but you need to do something about it now and fast. The only way to predict the future is to create it my friend. Change something now, before you are no longer able to. Talk to anyone, that you can, if you cant talk to your family or friends, find someone near you that is independent, but talk to someone soon ok. E mail me if you like, I may not be much help but I am used to been a sounding board lol.

Obviously the prozac isn't working...at least not the medication on it's own. If changing jobs is not an option, then you need a break, quick! And definately therapy. Sounds like you may have some older issues that you never dealt with and they are adding to this problem. Call a hotline just to chat and find a list of therapists. Maybe look into group therapy if you would be comfortable with that. Talking to others going thru the same thing can be very beneficial. Also let you're doc know that the prozac doesn't seem to be helping.

first of all, sorry to get on your case but if you are to take a medication, you have to take it every day as prescribed or it will do you no good and will not feel any benefits from it. sleep would help not sure where you are, but it is late here and I should be sleeping as well but I have been to sleep most the afternoon and evening slept until 2 am... it is now 3 am....learn to relax and let go of work... sure sounds easy,you are not your work, maybe you need to take a little vacation time yourself. if not you might just end up in the hospital having break down and let me tell you from personal experience hospitals for mental illness and stress over load and all that stuff. is not a picnic..... maybe a job change isn't a bad idea... go into something a littel less stressful. same field but where you don't have to deal with such abuse.

I love to chat too... you and IM me or email me when you feel like it... I have been to the mental breakdown point too many times, that I can't really work anymore. I am so depressed that it affects my daily life. blah blah blah I don't need to give you my sob story.... but get intouch with friends and family again.... do the things you love it migh bring you back from that breaking point, not easy at all... but it could be a start, and maybve you need to see a therapist to just talk things out when you have time.... online chats are not professionals.