How do we get through this again with so much hurt?

Married life was bliss. Had children - unfortunately first one had health problems in/out of hospital from 7 mths - 4 years.
2nd child born. No family support or love. His Dad died. Excluded from his Dad's will. He hated his job. His depression led to violence. I got depression. Marriage on rocks.
2 years later turned around. New job. Health ok ish. Things looking up - several months of happer times. Looking to future.
Then 1st child already gone through hell when tiny had bad accident at school. Permanent facial scars.Stress excerbated as school handled situation badly. Injury/possible school/house change has plunged us both in depression.
He is in denial but needs help. Won't see anyone/take anything. Violence and 'I hate you so much' etc comments start from him again.
I know he's depressed but I've been terribly hurt mentally.
My love for him is now so confused..I can't take much more.

Oh I am really sory to hear this. I really do empathise with you. I have been through a really bad patch with my husband, but thankfully we seem to have come out the other side now. I suffer with depression,and although my husband won't admit it I think he does too. The first thing you should do is see your GP, try to get referred for counselling both for yourself and for you as a couple. I really believe that talking makes a massive difference. Bottling things up makes you ILL.

I found it impossible to talk to my husband and it got so bad that we were just co-existing in the same house because of our two children. I used to get the same stuff screamed at me too. I think I got so much worse because I didn't tell ANYONE at all about anything, I just kept it all bottled up. I just thought that my life was never going to change. Then after a number of months in Day Care and lots of CBT, group therapy and medication, I am feeling a lot better and my relationship with my husband is great.

Wishing you all the luck in the world,and if you ever need to offload or just chat to someone anonymous then drop me a line through the link on here.

Take care of yourself, I am sure you will find your happiness again. x

You desperately need marriage counseling. Your health ins should provide it for free or a very small charge. You also need to see a Dr. for the depression. Get help.

There will be a point when you can take no more. You could talk to your partner about where your relationship is going....what can change and what can not...and most importantly...what will be the consequences if things continue. You need to reach a point where enough is enough and you need to move on. Only you will know when this is.
Hope this helps a little.
Dave

Isabelle my sweetheart. This isn't the place for you. People won't answer much because they won't know what to say. You're in my prayers. Find someone who can give you the help you deserve. Please. xx God bless.

You poor darling,i really wish i had the words to help you but i am afraid i dont,you need as many good friends as you can get,someone good to talk to because i think talking a lot about your problems with someone that cares really helps,i wish you all the best,also talk to your Doctor,some can be very good.Good luck for the future.

get help for yourself and then work on getting help for him. find a support group and get professional help. you can't help anyone else until you have taken care of yourself. be strong for your children but take time for you.if he's being physically violent get out asap. before you become a statistic of domestic violence.

Trust in your love for him and his hidden love for you.
God did'nt mean us to suffer in this word and in time things will come right. Just trust in Him.

If you truely love him you wont let him hurt you anymore. He probobly feels realy guilty for the things he sais to you, I'm sure you dont feel to good either.
you should leave under the terms of taking a break and stay with any support you may have.
when and if he decides that he can be strong for you again and you believe him go back. this might sound like you are being unfaithfull in a way but you don't deserve the abuse he's not willing to get help, and if he loves you, you leaving might awaken him from his depression.

it looks like you have not been dealt a good card like me, you must turn all these negative thoughts around and it is only you that can sort yourself out lots of people have been through hell with their families but honestly you must get out of this rut, I kept telling myself things will get better and they did eventually my husband didn't die he went off with another woman and gave his kids nothing, I was very ill and so was my youngest both in and out of hospital so what !I picked myself up got a replacement and now life is good hope your will be too good luck

I havent been through half of what you have but I sure know what depression is.

My g/f and I have stuck through my problems for bout 5 years now. She found solace and support here:

www.themockturtle.com

Its kind of a lifestyle forum....covers a huge spectrum of things split into different areas. This might not sound helpful but there are some really lovely and supportive people on there.
-Its anonymous.....you can offload without any -ve feedback
-Its always available

The isolation in these situations can sometimes make them 100x worse.

See your GP and a social worker if you havent already. They are there to help. Get your GP to book you in for cognitive behavioural therapy sessions. Drugs are hit and miss but CBT gives "some benefit" to 80%+ of those that give it a shot.

Best of luck. Its sht when the long dark tunnel seems like a circle. I gaurantee the lights there.

play country and western music 24/7 at full volume........then start going to line dancing together to form that bond once more....simple

You have been through so much I can't beleive you are still being so strong - well done you!

I would recommend you go to your GP and explain everything you can, if not what about Victim Support/Domestic Violence helpline numbers - I'm sure they would listen and point you in the right direction.

I wish you and your family all the very best of luck x