How do you cope living with injuries that never healed, physical imperfections & disfigurements if your vain ?

im 30 years old, have had a very hard life, have BPD and PTSD.

ive always been a perfectionist and very vain about my appearence.

but over the last couple of years things have happened to my appearence that have been causing me to gaze in the mirror and feel dispair.

ive become bald.......ive aged, look older..because of all the stress ive been through......have dark lines running from the corner of my eyes to my cheek bone.

i have torn ankle ligaments in my left ankle, it clicks if i move it....i cant walk properly on it latley without twisting my ankle and falling over....it needs surgery.

i have a crooked little finger that droops over, due to an injury months ago...i was told it can't straighten.

i have damaged nerves in my right knuckle from punching a wall years ago...there was no fracture, exrays showed up clear...but it hurts to even hit a punch back lightly...i was told nothing could be done there...i get shooting pains in knuckle.

i have 2 missing teeth

due to an accident years ago, i chipped my bottom 2 front teeth,they gave me cheap cosmetic ones, i didnt like them so i had them taken out...now theres a gap there.

now i need to save up for dental implants, with cost thousands.

my manhood im not happy with, the head on it is small, and i have fissures and cracks in the skin iam waiting to see a dermatologist about.

so there you have it, my imperfections / disfigurements, but in my mind im still that vain perfectionist..

how can i cope with these things ?

We all cope with individual 'flaws' of nature, some worse than others, obviously.
Some can be reconstructed through plastic surgery, others are so bodily damaged they cannot be surgically operated upon.

Baldness, is a natural process, and is quite attractive, to some women, dark lines can be smoothed out, by using a 'light makeup' product for blemishes
(your pharmacist will help you choose the correct one, and many men use these products, so don't be put off buying),

As for your other ailments, see your G.P to see if he can refer you to the appropriate departments for 'corrective surgery', and your teeth, well a good dentist can help/refer you for a 'single bridge'...to just cover that gap, and then you're confidence will be restored, and you'll be sorted.

I have a perm peg-tube, have to eat through tubes, have a few bottom teeth missing due to radiotherapy treatment, (about to have a bridge fitted, yepee !!) , and if I can cope with this... no problemo...!!! so can you...

Try and get your confidence back, and feel good about yourself, it's what is on the inside that counts, and what's maybe lacking on the outside, totally can be compensated, by a good nature, a winning smile (even with a gap) and a kind heart...all of which I'm sure you have !!!!


Good luck...


Caramac x

I did some voluntary work and met innocent young victims of car wrecks who couldn't even feed themselves or use a computer like we can. It helped me get things in perspective. (I'm not saying what you have endured isn't bad, btw, just that there is always worse out there so count your blessings. x)

You train yourself to think properly.
Everyone at some stage gets wrinkles, or fractures somthing, or looses teeth...whatever...but it happens to everyone.
And at least you can still walk, talk, see, hear..etc properly, there are people much worse off and you should count yourself lucky.

You do something that is extraordinary. You break the rules you are confined in, and focus on your best talents and maybe, just maybe, you have a story, not only to tell, but to sell!
Bye-bye missing teeth, bye-bye hardship!
Money rolling in from your story will release you!

My friend, I'm afraid it is something that we all deal with as we get older. Since I'm a woman, now that I've reached my later 40's, one of my most loved body parts, or actually two of them, have been terribly effected by the pull of gravity. I, too have several missing teeth on the bottom and wear dentures, have graying hair, wrinkles around my eyes, worry lines and many other things that do not reach my vain expectations of what I think used to make me look so fine. But, you know, I have lived and I am still alive. I used to worry about my imperfections, but now the number has grown to that above which I can actually do anything about. I am much older now. I can forever see my old self, dimples, freckles, and the wonderful hair and body, but just to have lived and loved is all that really matters to me now. Just to be with the man I love and now that I am loved is enough for me. And if I were not with this man of mine, I would still have the pull of gravity, the gray hair, wrinkles, bad ankle, missing teeth and worry lines in my forehead. With age comes a new sort of freedom and I have learned that I can roll with the punches of this life. It is what is in the heart that matters most, not our beauty which withers away with the passing time. I have peace in my heart and it still feels good.

This is difficult. I know how you feel, was smashed up quite bad by a car at 16. When you are younger physical imperfection matter more. As I have aged I care less and less. I never looked that good anyway, people liked me because I was funny. I was never going to get the cheerleader , so what the heck !! You need to see a doctor and get sorted...........and stop punching walls !!!!