My mom has severe emphysema and currently on ventilator at hospital?

My mother is currently on a ventilator in the hospital because she has severe emphysema/COPD. This is the 3rd time in about 3 months she has been on one. I'm so scared i'm going to lose her and she is only 58. She use to be a heavy smoker but stopped a couple years ago but the damage is done. She is on oxygen 24/7. Everytime she goes to the hospital her CO2 levels are very high. I question whether it is necessary for the doctors to put her on a ventilator because another hospital she was at before didn't even talk about a respirator. My mom is ready to give up and i'm trying so hard to stay positive but i can't stand to see her suffer this way. Does anyone have any personal experience or advice? Thank you.

I am really sorry to hear about your mother. I can empathize with her because I have end stage lung disease as well (pulmonary fibrosis and I am 54). You are probably pretty well versed in the various aspects of emphysema, so I am going to try and help you by looking through a patient's eyes.

Dying of a lung disease of any kind is a long, tiring, painful process on the person who has the disease, and the loved ones around that person. While oxygen helps, as the disease progresses things like dyspnea worsen. (Dyspnea is literally a panic attack that comes with increased CO2 levels. The brain says it needs more oxygen, the body tries to respond, the brain doesn't get what it asks for, the body works harder, breathing more rapidly, causing a greater buildup of CO2 and thus greater panic by the brain. Not a fun thing to go through.) It really is a lousy way to die.

I have two daughters who sound a lot like you - wanting me to stay around for a long time, but also knowing that my suffering increases daily. I have made it clear to them and my wife that I do not want to be placed on a ventilator. If I get to the point where a machine has to do my breathing for me, then it is time to let me go. It seems your mother's condition has deteriorated in the past 3 months to the point where she knows she has lost this battle. All the hospital is doing at this point is spending her money. They will keep her alive as long as they can - either until she runs out of money, or someone says enough is enough.

Ironically, my dad at 82 years of age got pneumonia and ended up in the hospital on a vent Christmas two years ago. Before they put him on the vent, he said no more than 7 days. At the end of 7 days we asked them to turn it off. My dad died the moment the machine was shut off. His doctor said they could have kept him going for weeks before his other organs gave out.

My dad showed me something before he died. He compromised with his family and consented to be placed on a vent, but he limited the time he would be on it. That took a lot of courage on his part. That has given me the courage to detail my wishes for my family. My hope is that my dad and I have provided an example for family as well.

It has taken a lot of courage for your mother to fight this as long as she has. It takes a lot of courage to give up the fight as well. Do what your mother would want you to do. Follow your heart. Good luck to all of you, and your mother is very lucky to have you for her daughter. Best wishes during this difficult time.

Let me start by saying how very sorry I am to hear that your mother having such a rough time. Emphysema is a harsh disease and it unfortunately only gets worse from here. Not only on her but on you and the whole family. COPD/emphysma patients that have chronic CO2 retention (elevated CO2 levels) don't respond to oxygen therapy in the same way that we do. Also, as their bodies get tired out it produces more and more CO2 but since they have poor diffusion capacity in the lungs they are unable to get rid of it. Thus it builds up even more causing increased lethargy or sedative effects. Putting your mom on a ventilator or any on a ventilator is almost always the last thing that we do before their is no other option with the exception of allowing them to die. Sad to say I have had patients as young as 40 die of this horrible condition. You say that you are trying to stay positive and that is probably the best thing that you can do along with asking questions of the doctors. Ask for a family conference. Write a list of ALL of the questions that you and other family members have and don't let the doctor leave until they get answered. Make sure that you get a prognosis. Does mom have a 'power of attorney' for healthcare matters? If not and she is able to help make one out now is the time to do so while so is able to designate a spokeperson. Ask her what her wishes are and follow them. It is very obvious that you love your mom but sometimes showing that you love them is not always easy. This is a tough and emotional time for you. Above all remember that all of what is going on centers around your mom and what she needs right now. Lean on your family and friends for support and don't forget that the hospital staff are there for you as well. I pray that you will find guidence and strength when you need it.

Im so sorry that your mum has such a horrible illness, My nan had copd, she also ended up on oxygen 24/7. The heartbreaking thing about copd is its never gets better and all though suffers have good days and bad days it can be very frustrating for patients and family as my nan would say "the mind and legs are working but the damn lungs just wont let me" She had copd for 5 yrs and was in and out of hospital all the time. She became very depressed as she was so limited in what she could do and where she could go.
Every time she was taken to hospital i thought this is it! I totally get how you must be feeling i became a nervous wreck and was scared to leave her side because she would be fine one day and the next in hospital fighting for her life, I could never relax. Your mum has youth on her side and as you said the damage is already done however giving up smoking will help her condition ( my nan refused to give up) she would just turn the oxygen off whilst she had a quick puff!!!!
We lost nan 1yr ago not to copd she was 85 and had suffered lots of infections.

I wish you well and hope your mums comes through thisxxxxxxx