Would you confront someone you know has a disease and think they already know but aren't telling?

I have a cousin who (from all I've learned) has cervical dystonia. She has repetitive head movements and also the fingers on one hand stay contracted most of the time. Her son has been diagnosed with the disease but it involves one leg only. He's been treated with it for about 10 years. Everyone knows he has it. The mother who shows symptoms of cervical dystonia has never admitted she has it also. (It would mean the son got it from her genes and that evidently is not wanted)

Knowing she has it, should I confront her with it and urge her to seek medical help for her own case of dystonia? Or do I just play dumb and act like I don't see the signs. I want her to get help if there is something that can keep her from getting worse, but I don't want her mad at me either.

Hello.
I am a doctor with dystonia, and I have passed it along to at least one of my kids. Your cousing could be helped, and should be helped; but she needs psych help with facing this stigmatized disorder. Dystonia is a strange dz in that it causes great family shame. I know this 1st hand as my wife is having a hard time facing our reality. I have 3 other children who are at risk. Tell your cousin you love her; give her some articles on Botox, and tell her that there are people risking their entire careers on creating new solutions for her and her son. FYI, I have closed my cardiology practice to invent new treatments for movement disorder pts. There is great potential to help your cousin and her son. I am working on a form of gene therapy as well as a novel and noninvasive manner to rewire the abnormal brain circuitry. Best of luck. Ross

Thats a tough one. I would say that you know her better than anyone and how she is going to react.. But I would also take into consideration the implications of her and or er son going untreated.

My only advice is, before you do say something (becasue you have obviously thought about it) make sure you know exactly what you are saying, and make sure she doesnt already have it under control.

Maybe you need to build up to it, and just reassure her that you are her support, and that she can trust you if she ever wants to talk.

i would sit down with her and tell her that you noticed a few things about her that has you concerned and you want to help (have some info or material in mind before talking to her, that way you can make suggestions to her right away)
good luck!!

she may already be getting medical help. Just because she doesn't mention it doesn;t mean she doesn't know she has it and is seeiing a doctor. But if she isn't seeing a doctor then yes confront her. keep her son out of it though, let her know you care about her and how she is doing. Or talk to a common freind, admit you are worried about her and see her perspective.

Why is this a "confrontation" ?

These kinds of conversations (if their necessary at all) always have to start with, "You know I love you, but I'm worried about you"....

In there somewhere, don't forget the magic words; "Is there anything I can do to help" ?

Remind her gently that her job as a Mom is to set the best example. If she wan'ts her son to be compliant and address his disease she must confront her own.

My oldest has Type 1 Diabetes, the disease was passed on to him from my ex husband. It doesn't matter a Bit where it came from. What matters is that it get treated.

We have no responsiblity for our genes, so it is a no fault deal. Tell her to let herself off the hook and treat her disease and set a great example for her son.

Good luck.

have you asked anyone else in the family if your cousin might be getting treatment...someone who might know about treatment even though you don't? Maybe she just doesn't want to talk about it. I can't imagine if she has such obvious problems that she'd not know she also has it