My domestic violence abuser finally was deported. why is it that i still let him manipulate me over the phone?

after calling the cops on him about 10 times..he finally was deported...2 months ago...i'm still afraid of him even though he is now in a very far country...he calls my family to tell's them that he is coming back no matter what...i'm afraid, there is alot of immigrants that come to the united sates illegally...they cross the borders..and i'm afraid he will too...he is from venezuela...and for this reason i fill obligated to answer his calls if i dont i will get it when he gets back...he also tries to manipulate me over the phone or computer....i changed my telephone number but he still call my family like my cousin and tells her to tell me he is doing everything possible to come back...i cant tell them to change there telephone numbers, i don't dare, plus they dont want to change their number.i've been mentally and physically sick...i cant sleep ..i stay at home all the time...i have a good job that i can return to but, i am not ready i'm too depressed and mentally i'm not ready.

you have to stop allowing him to have this control over you, yes it can be a scary situation, but ask yourself have you had enough yet, enough playing into his hand, enough giving him control..it's all part of the abuse and you are allowing it to still go on and rule your daily life..congratulations taking the steps you have so far!

cause seems like you enjoy being manipulated

you are in a cycle that is difficult to get out of. you need to work on your self esteem, and disconnect with him completely

You need to get some counseling so that you can be strong enough to deal with him. Also, tell your family to stop bothering you about it. They also need to tell him to stop calling them. Plus, I hope you have moved. Do everything possible so that he can not find you. Be safe!

Getting over an abusive relationship is harder than getting over a "normal" relationship. It sounds like your boyfriend really messed with your mind and your heart, you just need to have faith that you are strong enough to be your own person and get over what he has done to you. Be single for a while, get counselling, and soon you will see that you and your family are worth more than this.

Because you have no self esteem and are a complete moron.

It sounds like you have low self-esteem, that is how you got manipulated in the first place. You need to start doing stuff for yourself - like changing your phone number. Talk to the police, if you feel threatened, tell the cops, they will drive by your house, etc. It will be awhile before that man can come back into the country. Don't worry about it. You need to get back to your life and do stuff you love. Try to always be with your friends and family - remember safety in numbers. (Better yet, start looking for a really gorgeous new boyfriend.) :) *hugs*

it because you r a stupid emotionally insecure pussy & u need to get on with your life and stop bein a chickenshit either that or kill yourself

wow don't take it lightly. let your relatives inform him right away that this conversation is bein recorded and will be sent to the police. you do the same , or the minute you hear his voice hang up .you need counselling to be more assertive.don't be a prisoner in your own home.get mental health counselling.check dep't of health for referral.don't be embarrassed you need a support group right away.

Counseling!!!! Hurry before you bury yourself in a hole you can't get out

Cause your dumb and lazy thats why! Have some freagin' dignity and stop acting like a victim for gods sake! Fight back! Don't answer the phone and if you do tell him to screw off! Get a restraining order and buy yourself a taser and learn how to use it. Take martaill Arts and learn to defend yourself! Find yourself a bigass boyfriend and a new door lock. Acting as a victim makes you a victim, change yourself, make the hunter the hunted and never give in to an oppressor! Fight!

You need to get some counseling.
Call a hotline for abused women in you don't
know who to turn to for help.

Try going to a battered women's shelter. Don't tell any one maybe say your taking a vacation. They won't tell anyone that calls whether you are there or not. Maybe you will eventually be able to cut off ties with your cousin and move away where he won't be able to harass you anymore. At a shelter you could get help with how you choose a man. There are plenty of men nearby that are just as bad or worse than the one that you're afraid of. The professional that deal with battered women can help you learn what to look for in a man that could show you that there may be a problem later. At least go to the library and reads some books about Domestic Violence. You have a good reason to be afraid. But if he don't know where you are then you should feel safer; however, you still need to understand that it can happen again with a different man unless you educate yourself about the type of men that abuse women. They are very tricky, and not to be trusted.

God bless my sistering my love goes out to you.You need to pray to God first then all your hart desires will be answered.The only way to rebuke the devil is to see what you pray for,then pray,then thank him knowing by faith God will deliver .Forgive this man of his ways and repent of yours what we sow is what we reap