Need help with domestic violence?

hi
im having trouble trusting my mum's partner. i can't help worrying about wether he is going to hurt my mum. my dad used to hurt me and my mum a when i was younger. i've dealt with the anger part, my boxing coach helpped me channel my anger into boxing. but im finding it really hard trusting people. i even worry about my brother when he argues with my mum i know he wouldn't hurt my mum but i get really worried. my mum has gone away at the moment with her partner and i've been physically sick worrying about it. im 16 and not really ready to talk about it. i still get very bad nightmares about it and i had thought i was over it but i don't think i am. can any body give me any advice please.

yeah my mum has gone on vacation to look for a new house as we are still living in the same town as my father

you MUST go see a therapist IMMEDIATELY to talk about it. whether you feel "ready" or not. this is a major problem for you. it is also crucial for your future relationships to work these things out, for if you do not address them, YOU WILL GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH AN ABUSER. it is a FACT. speak to your school guidance counselor and ask for referral to a local therapist. you need at least 1 hour a week for a year (or more) to work on this. this is EXTREMELY serious trauma that you have suffered.

post traumatic stress disorder sounds like.
trust your moms boyfriend...not every man is like your father.
i have bipolar disorder, and i have a lovely girlfriend of 2 years...and i have three sisters. i've never hit them, my younger sister and i just mess around but i'd never cause any pain to them. your brother probably knows it's not good to hit women...why did your mom go away? like vacation and she just left you and your brother alone???

Trust your instincts. God gave them to you for a reason.

Check out http://www.save-dv.org/aboutdv_redflags.... for a list of things to look out for. Report any abuse to the police immediately.

Are there resources in your area to help and support you? Try to find an agency that can.

God loves you and you are precious to Him. He is our loving heavenly Father. Just pray for your Mum and her partner that they both will get connected with God and live a peaceful and happy life. Worry does not help, but prayers are useful. If you love them, pray really hard for them.

In the Beginning God created heavens and earth.
God gives us air to breathe and sunshine to enjoy.
God gives us water to drink and food to eat.
God gives us a wonderful body and a sound mind and life.
God loves us, and we are precious to Him.
The Son of God died on the Cross to save us from condemnation, and qualifying us to Heaven.
Jesus鈥?love is boundless and everlasting.
We have the hope of Heaven through Jesus.
Your life therefore has a fantastic and glorious future!
(Please must visit: www.soon.org.uk)

Of course its perfectly naturally to fear that your mom's bf might hurt her because it's a real thing that has happened to you in the past.

Take a realistic look at this guy. Is there reason to believe that he may hurt her? Does he get angry a lot? Have you seen him act physically aggressive towards anyone or anything?? If not, maybe you can start to see that he isn't going to hurt her. Obviously, trust isn't just going to happen. But if you see things contrary to your fear, you can begin telling yourself that this guy isn't like that. Eventually over time, you may begin to trust him that he'll treat your mom right.

Also, now is a great time to start talking about this. You were hurt in the past and its affecting your present.. and if you dont deal with it, it'll affect your future. If you don't feel comfortable talking to your mom, ask to see a counselor, or maybe someone at school... It will be painful.. dealing with hurtful childhood memories always are. But if you deal with it now and put the work into it, you'll feel a lot better.

try another type of free counseling
because you do need to talk to someone about everything
and thats a jerk thing of the school counselor to do
but i know because my school counselor does the same thing with me always accuses me of lying
anyways
but see if there is some free counseling in your area
or try a church
im sure a priest would listen and give you some advice

Has he ever been abusive or are you just wary of getting involved with anyone? He might be a great guy. You are just not ready for that right now. Worry is not a sign that he will ever be abusive. You seem to expect the worst. This is a conditioned response. This reflects something you have learned to expect, and in this instance, even if he never acts abusively, you expect him to. That is very unfortunate.
You may have a hard time getting away from this false expectation. It may end up steering you back into relationships where abuse will prevail because you expect it. It's like a vicious cycle. This could be a problem.
If it gives you nightmares, this is a sure sign you are not over this. It would be a good idea to get counseling. If your counselor recommended an antidepressant, I would recommend you do that. It would help relieve your anxiety and help you get over the trauma.
You need to let it go and get it behind you. If it keeps coming up and bothering you, it could reflect a deeper problem as to how you feel about yourself. It is not your fault and you are not a bad person, no matter how bad you feel, and you do not deserve this. You need to let go of that. It is a bad habit. And it will never go away if you don't address it and work it out until it stops bothering you.
You can join an internet group for domestic abuse. They would give you a chance to speak out. You need words, not just for bad feelings but for finding ways to heal and find healthy relationships. When you have the words, you have less to be frightened of. And all you ever have to do is recognize it for what it is, then it has no more power over you. It's just that simple. Fear is frightening, but knowledge is the power to have some peace of mind. That's what you need.
I hope this helps you.