Does anyone have detailed info about al-anon?

My friend is the victim of domestic violence, and the abuser is an alcoholic. She wants to go to al-anon, but is that the right type of support? Will al-anon encourage her to work out a dangerous marraige? She clearly needs some type of help, and ahe admits it, but I just don't know if al-anon is the right place to go. Any other suggestions for help?

Every city and community has a shelter for survivors of domestic violence. The very real and inescapable fact is you cannot "work out" a dangerous marriage. She will have to decide for herself if she wants out or not. If she does, she needs to get a lawyer, get a cell phone (if she doesn't already have one), file a police report EVERY time she is abused, get a restraining order against him (but she shouldn't count on it keeping him away from her), and move as far as possible away from him while remaining in the same county. She also needs to take a different route to and from work every day and maintain a constant vigil about her surroundings. If she is not willing to get out of the marriage, there isn't a darn thing you can do but stay out of the range of fire. Alcoholic or not, if he is an abuser there are deep seated psychological problems there that won't go away even if he stops drinking. I know this from personal, and very painful experience.

Type "Al-anon" into Yahoo! web search and a number of specific links will be found giving info on the organization even local groups for your area. Other support groups may be found by typing "Domestic violence support" into Yahoo! web search or for the specific group, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, enter www.ncadv.org into Yahoo! web search.

Good luck to your friend, good health, peace and love!

Al-anon will use the 12 Steps (like AA or NA) to help your friend examine her life and her issues. They will not suggest that she stay in an abusive relationship, but they will help her work towards her own decisions.

The pros of Al-anon: great social support, and many people find the steps helpful.

The cons: like all 12 Step programs, you need to accept the existence of a higher power

This is a 12 Step, SELF-help group, run by NON-professionals. Your friend might find it very helpful, or not helpful at all. But if she will probably want to get some professional therapy/counseling.

If she is in physical danger, urge her to get out NOW and call your local authorities. National Coalition Against Domestic Violence will be very helpful for support around this.

Good luck.

There are programs for victims of domestic violence. Al-Anon are not professionals. Al-Anon, if it is a good Al-Anon meeting, will help your friend decide if it is a good idea to stay in the marriage or not. I would encourage you to look up information on the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence on ways you can help your friend. There are certain things your friend can do to protect herself.

al-anon would be a great start, I also have a friend who is in the same boat, but he is too afraid to go to the meetings, is ashamed he has let a woman beat him around