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Divorce, denial, what to do?


My husband and I signed the divorce papers a few days ago. He asked that we hang out afterwards, and I agreed, to reconsile. We have been separate for about 2-4 weeks. So seeing him was weird, but not only that, but we had fun and he hit on me (told me he loved me, and tried to hold me while were watching tv, ran his fingers through my hair, and even tried kiss me a few times while we hung out at what was our house. I didn't let him kiss me, I mean we JUST signed the papers. It was weird. I was doing ok, as could be expected before that. Now, I seem to have this denial going on. I feel like I'll be going home any day and we are still together. This worries me (I am pretty self-aware). Is this healthy? What should I do? I mean, he's been a jerk sometimes, but mostly (and why I think he got out of the marriage) he's confused and scared (I have some debilitating illnesses). Also,... I still love him to death. So,...now what? This doesn't feel healthy, mentally. HELP!

My ex did the same thing...we lived together for a year past the divorce..then I remembered why we got the divorce in the first place and escaped...I have some very good advise for you that I took myself from a wonderful happy person....if it doesnt feel peaceful...get away or out of it....He is the one in denial and sounds like he is playing a powertrip game and the good ol ugly ego of his cant stand the fact that he didnt get the girl afterall....WHY did you divorce? Do you want to SETTLE for a half-&*^% relationship? If you have a honest open talk with him and find out just what is really wrong on both sides and are willing to work thru the situations together by all means go for it...it has to be 110% on BOTH sides for anything to work...mine didnt so I left him...he is still the same ol loser where he was 24 years ago...I have a great husband now..who is a jerk sometimes too....but thats natural...and he always works things thru with me. .....THINK....be honest with yourself and him....then you have a better foundation to build on.....hope it helps

marriage - the best way to ruin a good relationship

I don't think you should be hanging out with your ex if you two have just gotten divorced.

I have been divorced for a long time and can never imagine myself doing that at any time....move on with your life and find other interest.

If it doesn't feel right to you then it's best to take a step back and not see him at all . It's too fresh in your mind, and his, and you may only get hurt again. He is probably only going through his own lonliness and denial but what happens if somebody else enters his life? It's not worth the heartache. It's hard enough healing a broken heart once for a man.

It's too late now, your devorced. But, look back at the vows you two took earlier.

Also I an a dude my self, and he don't love you, he wants you plyable, just in case other of his sex sources, dries up on him.

Probably some denial is in the mix of things. Realizing you're single and alone again may be another point to consider for the reason's of hanging out with your ex.

If you have a debilitating illness, to me he broke one of your marriage vows. He doesn't sound like too much of a man to me if he left you for that reason.

You may still love him, but do you want to live with someone who will run out on you when the going gets tough?

Just watch yourself and don't get emotionally involved since your ex will most likely chicken out again down the road.

Talk it over with a therapist, get some guidance and perspective

This is a hard one, since it seems like you both really still love each other. Yea, he might of got out of the marriage cause he thought he could not handle being married yet. But maybe he realized after signing those papers, that he is in love with you and does not want to lose you after all. If he was really a jerk, like abusing you and that, then well i don't really think that i would go back to him. I know this cause i still love my husband, but he is a jerk, and i have come to the concussion that i need to get a divorce after living and raising our childern alone, and on my SSA. He did not pay child support, and i did not take him to court to get it. So this is a call you really need to make, if you feel that is is unhealthy, and isn't right mentally, then stop seeing him for a while. Keep away from him, go talk to a therapist maybe able this , and why the divorce even happen. go with your gut feelings.

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