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Wife has Post pardum and wants a divorce over night. Can I pursaude her to not get one?


I believe that her last divorce was for the same reason and around the same time. Presently we have 7 month old twins and she has gulf war syndrome. For the wise out there please help. She HATES me and there is no getting through to her from me. Her family also doesn't like me or believe me. Its up to me, with the help of you... please don't waste my time with common sense answers, because I own my own. Relevant, ambitious, industrious and creative answers only. I thank you in advance.

well, you have posted a very difficult question. the thing to do is to get her to a shrink. but if that's not possible, try killing her with kindness, one thing woman loves is flowers, try having flowers delivered to her for 3 days in a row, take all responsibility for the baby's one day and send her to a spa. make a romantic gourmet dinner for her. good luck

The only thing I can think of is to call someone who knows about postpartum depression. They can help you understand what your wife is feeling and they can help you understand things that you can do to help (and what you should not do...)

I found this number just today:
Welcome to PSI: Postpartum Support International
Call the PSI Postpartum Depression Helpline: 1.800.944.4PPD

I hope you call. They may be able to help. I hope so.

I also found several articles about post-traumatic stress disorder, if you think that would be helpful.
http://www.iraqwarveterans.org/ptsd.htm

Maybe she has postpartum depression. How is she with the babies? Are you helping her or just letting her do it all herself? Are you bugging her for sex all the time? If so I don't blame her for hating you. It sounds like she has a lot on her plate right now and isn't able to cope with everything. She needs lots of love, not sex, just love. Help her with the twins as much as you can. Don't argue with her. Whatever you do don't mention her weight to her if she still has any pregnancy weight left around. And make sure you get her in to see a psychiatrist. I would want her to end up hurting the kids just to get out from under the stress of it all. Twins are a lot of work.

She's got too much baggage and if she's really determined to get a divorce, let her go and go on with your life. You have twins to raise. That's a big responsibility. Sounds like they need some stability in life and she can't give it to them. Be a good father and forget about her. She is going to repeat this cycle over and over again with other men and you can't stop her. Good Luck!

~Sorry to hear that. I had the same problem with my husband after having our baby. I felt unappreciated, controlled, unloved, and used.
I would tell him I wanted a divorce, he would get upset, grab the baby and ask why I wanted to take the baby away from him. This always made me sad and I would let it go.
I finally went to counseling, it really helped. I did this on my own, I don't know how you could get her to go. Is she on medication for this? If not, she should see a doctor.
Remind her that she won't always feel the way she does right now, and not to make any drastic decisions that would affect your family.
Maybe she needs more time to herself? Being with the babies 24/7 can drive a person crazy. She could also use time away WITH you.
Help her when you can, and show her more love and support. I hope things work out.~

Please follow Breen's suggestion and give someone a call. Even a crises center or
mental health.
I don't want to scare you, but
it's this syndrome that has
caused women to kill their
children (and maybe their
husband.) If she's X-military,
it gets doubly scary. She
would have to be drugged if
she is off the deep end. Do
something!!!

If she is a bit psychotic it will pass and her language will return. It is more likely emotions she was afraid to speak of till the new environment let her think freely. Best to get a friend for now be nice to your ex in every way and wait for things to change in a month. Don't push or you will be unable to see the children.

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