Mentally disabled husband's behaviors drive me crazy and I don't want a divorce.?

I married a man who is mentally disabled - I married him 5 years ago. I would have run the other way had I known about it. I fell in love & married after 2 yrs of dating. Time has progressed his illnesses; he has improved with meds and therapy; but not a lot. He lies, takes things, and hides things that he does. He is not physically abusive & he would do anything I ask him except tell the truth - & when he does tell the truth, I find it hard to believe him. I get so irritated at him at times, I am besides myself. Other times, he is fun and I love being around him. Divorce is not an option due to beliefs. How can I take care of myself and keep my money, meds, & personal information away from him without him finding it? I know this sounds crazy, and I guess it is, but I made a bad choice in marrying him, but I have to make the consequences of the decision bearable for me to live with. Any suggestions? I am taking an anti-depressant but it doesn't control my anxiety.

unlike some of the other people I want to commend you for staying with your husband. Some people just don't take marriage very seriously anymore. You said he's not always like this so you can see him for who he is without the disability and you've already seen that or I doubt you would have fallen in love with him in the first place. I think the suggestion to find a support group and to go to the doctor was a really good suggestion. Also, do you have a video camera? If you do, try video taping your fun times together with him... make a whole video of the good times... that way when you're really frustrated you can watch it and be reminded of who he really is under this disease. I bet if he could change this he could. It is for better or for worse... you're just going through the worse right now... if he doesn't abuse you or cheat on you than I think he deserves your support. Try find a girlfriend you can talk to when you can't talk to your husband.

I hope everything works out for you and your husband.

If he really is diagnosed, then you have every right to take control of the
family finances, put him on an allowance, etc.

You need to figure out just what the illness is and protect yourself and yours.
Its going to be a pretty major ego killer for him, but ... that's the illness.

Good luck!

First off, thats rediculous you dont belive in divorce. SO you think god or whoever you believe in , would rather you be depressed on meds, hate life and be shitty and unfullfilling everyday, That is the dumbest thing i ever heard. God <or whomeever> should be all loving, They except people who kill 40 people and forgive them but god forbid you get a divorce!!! Thats stupid, get a divorce, or move out and run away, and dont divorce him, just leave. You dont have to get a divorce to leave him. You cant deal with that crap your whole life. and more power to ya if you really even want to.

"Divorce is not an option due to beliefs"

Give me a break.

You would rather put yourself through hell for the rest of your life, for a chance to get in to a heaven that you don't even know exists? Grow up, get out, move on.

I guess a good decision you can make is not to have kids with your husband as they will most likely carry the mental illness gene.
I would say for your own sanity to get over your beliefs and divorce him.

Is there a support group for spouses of those with disabilities in your area? Some of them have been through similar circumstances and might have some good suggestions. Also, can you go with him to his doctor and speak to them alone after the appointment and describe the behaviors and ask for some advice? Do you have a place in your home where you could stash important things without being seen by your husband? There has to be a workable solution to this. I admire you for not wanting a divorce-people throw away marriages in this day and age with much less reason than you have. You are a loving person and it is wonderful that the two of you have found one another. I wish you the best with this difficult circumstance.

Oh my lord! Honey it sounds to me like you are in a pickle. If he was already this way, how did you not know? Do you have children w/ him? I would say get a safe to lock your things in. and just do the best you can. But as far as belives go, If your worried that it may be a sin,to leave him.Well if it is in your best interest,to do so,you will be forgiven.Otherwise you just have to hang in there.

i wonder, since you didn't know about the illness, if an anullment would be possible? since you are so against divorce. you should look into that. you shouldn't have to spend the rest of your life with someone who makes you unhappy. if it was me i'd grab up the closes lawyer i could find, and tell him to do whatever he had to to fix it.

I didn't believe in divorce either until I went to a Christian counselor prior to my divorce and she said to me in reference to Jezebel (who was a biblical prostitute) was being stoned by the towns men for being what she was and Jesus told the men to stop and told her to go. Jesus did not agree with her behavior but he did not want to see her suffer. The Bible says for husbands to treat their wives as they would treat Jesus.
I know a lady who loved her husband and he fell ill and divorced him, but still provided his care so that she could have a life of her own.

show me the meaning of being lonely