I want a divorce....?

i have been married for 4 yrs. 4 kids also. my husband has seemed to get more controlling and lacking emotional value. Im total opposite. I dont want to be like this anymore. i have my whole life ahead of me. i want to be a nurse , but he shoots down all my dreams. always saying i have a boyfried. he snoops on my computer files, locks his computer up with a chain lock, and has lock boxes all over that i cant get into. he also drinks heavy. what should i do? i love him, but not in love anymore. he is soo uptight all the time and wants sex on his time. i dont have any friends and i get scared when someone wants to be my friend. he has a friends that are losers and drunks. is it me or should i leave?

Leave! Now!

then get divorced
or get counseling

You should probably get out of that marriage and take the kids.
Or you could get some serious counseling together and apart.
Otherwise just GO...not healthy for you or the kids!

Try talking to him when you feel most comfortable. If there is no way you can do that, then you should probably tell him that you're leaving. But before all this commotion, tell your kids that you want to divorce with your husband. This will help lessen the tension on them because they know you want to leave.

I know it takes courage to leave... I have been there and done that twice. Personally, I would not handle being treated as you are being treated. That is mental and emotional abuse. And if you have talked to him before and nothing is changing, then you have given it your best shot. I would be sure that the children are taken some place safe if they are too young to be caring for themselves and I would try to pack what I need for myself and the children and get out when he isn't home. If he is becoming more controlling, what I am concerned about is him hurting you physically. You can always return to the home and have a police escort to oversee you getting other belongings for you and the children at a later date and in the mean time, consult with a lawyer. You are right, there is a whole life out there for you to live and nobody has the right to squash your dreams. But this is just what I would do... I can't make the decision for you. If you ever want a friend to talk to, email me... I'm far enough away that he really can't complain.

you should definately leave asap!

you should not even have to ask that question....he not treating you good, you should leave now.....think of the kids, do you want them to become like that? cause they will if that is all they see...

It sounds like your marriage has gotten way past the point where you alone can fix the damage.

You need someone outside to help, preferably a professional. I would recommend you talk to your doctor about this because you and your kids are in danger, this will continue to worsen if you don't take some sort of action.

Your doctor can help direct you in the right direction for the type of help you need.

Don't just keep going on like this. You and the kids deserve more.

frist you need to talk him. And tell him how you feel. You have 4 kids It will hurt them more then you think. you need to try to see if you can make it work go to consoling. try every thing. You married this man why? -------- because you love him. prove it by work ared to make it work!!!!!!!!! Good luck

kick that bastard in the balls and walk out with ur kids!