I am getting ready to go through a divorce and have never lived alone. Any suggestions?

He got mad that I was going to see my girlfriend and told me my place was at home. I stopped at my friend's house that was to have surgery ---guy friend's mother's house. My guy friend was there and asked me to call Shane to see if he would let me come and visit him in the hospital. Shane got mad and told me he hoped my friend died. Then he called me back and said it was over for good this time. I stayed away all weekend. Since it is my house that I inherited from my father, he had to leave but was taking his time and I was scared to come home b/c he can be violent. So my friend went to see him and told him to be out by Sun. evening. He said he would. A bunch of my friends went over and his stuff was still there and he was at his parents. So we filled up his old junker car with all his belongings and had it towed over there. My friends are very supportive of me. I had trouble going to work and have taken off a couple of days. I am lost. I lived with my dad until he died.

And then with Shane. I am scared of being alone. I am scared to go to work. oh and my husband smoked pot and is going to a Methadone clinic. which I know is not good either

that seemes awfully harsh. he is a douche so you should know you are better off without him. i think that you should get a dog, my dog saved me from myself. i am clinically depressed and have thought about suicide but then i think...my dog needs me! a pet would be a great companion. if that is not an option....friends are the best medication for sad. take the time you need as i'm sure it will be a rough time in your life.

Enjoy being on your without someone telling you what to do and when to do it. Enjoy your friends and live your life the way you want.
If you're nervous about being alone in the house, rent out a room to someone you know who is trustworthy.
Also, make sure you get a restraining order on your soon-to-be Ex. This should be automatic during the divorce but make sure. It not only is a restraint for physical reasons but financially too.

buy a dog ....or if u live by me i will live with u and pay the utility bills .....or buy a gun ..i dunno ...

well you hae good reason to be afraid of your hubby. i would get a restraining order on him to stay so far from you. it would help but you have to be quick and call as for being alone you will have to learn to deal with it.i know your dad is gone and you are lost but heck you hvae to grwo up and move on and this is not with friend Shane. yu have to pick up and move on yourself. get some counceling and get help then you will beok take care.

You'll be fine. You seem to have a good positive support network. Your husband is acting very immature and you're wise for telling him to leave.

Learn to live on your own and do not rush into another relationship. That's the best thing you will do for yourself.
Right now you are very vulnerable, so ask your friends for support, you can ask someone to live with you for a while.
But do not enter any relationship now.
And beware of your ex, try to make it nice, so he will not hurt you.

i lived alone for almost 5 months and wish i would have done it for lots longer. it was great! i think you will get used to the freedom and hope you do fast to help you get over the emotional crap that you are probably bout to go through. this, like everything else will be in the past someday. hang in there:) sounds like your friends will help get you through it.

my boss asked me once "how was your first weekend alone?" i said "i was a little lonely, but i was little lonely in a very clean house doing whatever i wanted"

i would buy a dog and an alarm system.

Maybe you could rent out your house and live some place where he can't find you. Lose this guy. You deserve better. If you have friends then you are not lost. Reach out. Have faith. Plan for tomorrow. Good luck sweetie.

WHAT IS YOUR AGE?YOU WRITE AS IF YOU OR VERY YOUNG

Being scared to be alone is no excuse to stay in a disfunctional relationship.

It sounds like a fight between a couple in a not-so-perfect relationship. With that said, I wouldn't be surprised that you end up back together.

How many fights end up this way? A couple fights, one leaves, they both think its over, they may even go and say things about the other person because they think its over for good, and then after a few days or weeks they are back together again.

If your so devastated that you took off work, then I'm going to bet that you will take him back and this question will no longer matter.

If you actually felt ready to move on alone, you would have went to work because we all know how important jobs are, and you would have had a clear head and decided that it was a bad idea to take off work for such a,.... well.... a stupid reason.

(A breakup is no reason to miss work, unless you had to do some legal type of stuff, and things like that related to him leaving. If you took off work to mope around, thats different.)

My suggestion? Either decide that you ARE going to move on without him, or decide how to work things out if you get back together.

If you accept the fact that you are going to move on without him, things will be much clearer to you. I"ve been there.

Get someone else to move in with you either a friend or advertise. Try not to ever be alone for a long while. I would even consider renting out your house and living elsewhere. There are places set up for battered women. Your life is what is most important and restraining orders do not keep controlling abusers away.

this right hear will help you grow stronger as a person. mail me if i can help. i was in a similar situation

I know it is scary at first. But, believe me from experience, it is a lot easier to live alone than with someone who is abusive, etc. You will learn how to find outlets to get that company you need. Best wishes.