A question of compassion. Who decides when its time to let go?

I don't want to stir up a heated debate. My only purpose for asking this question is because I want to hear someone elses feelings other than my doctor and myself. I've had a series of surgeries and now I have to live with pain and lost of function. I want to make this very clear. These are my opinion only and I respect other's right to disagree with me. I have gone through years of depression, unrelenting pain, and the medical bills are beyond what I can deal with. On top of all the suffering, I was told (multiple opinions) that I will need more surgeries and I will likely be under pain control the rest of my life. This is simple, I do not want to live like this anymore. I've already heard it all. I'm selfish, narrow mined, don't consider other people's feeling. Well, I do understand, but this is my body, my suffering, my pain and my decision. I already have a advance directive so that my wishes will me carried out if I'm brain dead. I just want to go.

I don't think you're selfish at all. The fact that you wrote that you think you are selfish and narrow minded tells that you feel guilty about this, and that means you have a heart and care what people think about you. It's only normal to feel the way you do. You've probably been through so much and you don't feel that people understand. And the truth is, no one can understand what you're going through but you. But that doesn't mean people don't care. It hurt me deeply that you've lost your desire to live, though I do understand. All I can say is find something to keep fighting for. Think of all the people that love you and care about you. Think of all the people you've yet to meet and will be there for you in the future. I know that it's hard. There have been times in my life where I never wanted to see tomorrow, but I just let it ride. Pain never really heals, whether it's emotional or physical. You just find ways of overcoming it. I pray that all goes well for you and that you'll be all right. And don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault.

I understand fully, its not the quanity but the quality.

I think you have every right to decide what to do. It is your life, like you said. Other people might feel like you are being selfish, but they are not living your life and they don't know the kind of pain that you are in. I believe that with our modern medicine a lot of times people are kept alive long after their bodies would have naturally given out. I think that the spirit (or whatever) recognizes that it's time to go, but with modern medicine it prolongs this.
But on the other hand it sounds like you might be depressed, but rightfully so. Have you considered doing some counseling to help you through this? Above all else though it is ultimately your choice, and if you're ready to go, people will just have to accept that. I wish you luck and I'm sorry that you are in such a hard place.

Randy, You and only you decide. That's my opinion. Legal issues and religious belief not withstanding, you can choose. When my Dad decided his time was done, he stayed long enough for those who loved him to get used to the idea. I would place no blame on you for your choice. It would seem to me that those who wish you to stay and fight are those that are selfish and narrow minded. As you said, it is your pain and your body. Peace be with you.

My sympathies for what you are going through.
If it was me I would find a way to end my life
if suffering was all that I had to look forward to.
Unfortunately, suicide is against the law. (I never
understood how a court would prosecute someone who ended their own life.) Have you considered hypnosis to help you deal with the pain? I wish you luck.

I think that if God has not taken you from this earth then you have a purpose here.

But I have so much empathy for what you are going through.

I do not think you are selfish nor narrow-minded, but tired. I hope you can stay strong and try and see a better light, but if you decide to go, may peace be with you.

i think that living a life of suffering and pain with no happiness or joy is plain dumb. if you are clearly unhappy and have no hope for recovery or stop of the pain and suffering, why would there be a reaon to want to keep on living? people need to stop thinking about everyone else and go into your shoes. if you think you have lived a long and happy, or eventful life, then i believe it should be your choice if you want to go on. personally, if i was in your sitution, i would want to just let go. i also wouldn't want my family to have to go through the pain of seeing me so unhappy and suffering. does anyone realize that family hates to see eachother suffer? yeah, they will miss you, but it is better to be missed than make them in pain too. i wouldnt want my family to remember me suffering or anything like that. i would want them to remember me as the fun and loving person i once was. im so sorry to hear your story and i wish you the best.

Only God.

All of these sounds like you are seeing somebody else going through this pain and its understandable, perhaps I'm wrong, but to that person well, the answer is more clear than for you, pain is hard to deal with, so more than compassion is if that person is willing to just stop fighting well, respect their answer, if not the charge of conscious of the ones that stay... well won't be easy too.

This decision have nothing to do with being selfish, narrow minded or anything related, its a hard decision to let go someone, but at the end whatever the decision will be, just be in peace with yourself that you are the only one that knows, feels and is going through all of these, the least you need is a voice that doesnt help, so if this is that one, IGNORE all of this, please.

Be in peace.

I am so sorry you have to go through this. You have a right to decide how you want to live or not live your life. I don't think your selfish, narrowminded, etc. You should decide what's best for you. I know you love your family & they love you, it's not about that. It's how how you feel and if you want to suffer anymore. Don't let others tell you what's best for you. This is an extremely difficult decision and no one should make it more difficult for you to make. It's easy for others to say what they think they'd do in your position, but they're not the ones suffering. Good luck. 2D

I feel for you. I would hate to be in your position. The Lord still has you here for a reason that we don't know. But if you went the other way I personally wouldn't judge you . It is your body, mind, and pain. You are the only one that can decide. They say suicides go to hell and I do believe that but when someone is suffering the way you are I think God would forgive it.
Good Luck

I don't think you should give up on your life yet, no matter how hard you think it is. Obviously, no one but you and God could truly understand your suffering, but if you pray and try to get counselling and advice from your family, maybe you will change your mind and decide that though it may not be easy to live, your life is of value and you should not end it all like this. I don't mean to judge you but I believe if you are still here, God must have a reason for it. Only He should have the power to give and take lives. God bless.

I am wondering if you know about all the pain management options that are available. Have you been to a reputable Pain Management Clinic? Most likely you have. I wish somehow you could find help managing the pain. I wish there was something new out there that you did not know about that could help you. Have you exhausted your search. I hope that you haven't. I am truly sorry.

I have been living with various types of pain my whole life. I found help through a pain specialty clinic. You don't say what part of the country you live in. There may be a pain clinic near you where all they deal with is pain. IF you can't find someone to help you deal with pain than I think that you should do what's best for you but before you do anything that is permanent make sure that you've done all you can so that you don't leave anyone else wondering if there was something that they could have done to make things better for you.