Depression..?

first off. im 14. freshman in high school.

anyways,
i was thinking this was bipolar disorder for a while because every once in a while I get really hyper, agressive, &just basically most of bipolar's "mania" symptoms, but then i suddenly fall into this deep depression. i'm depressed more than manic.

i can't hold this in any longer. hopelessness, depression, fear, loneliness.. misery.. these are the worst feelings i've ever had to feel. it's been secret for so long, but now, it has reached it's limit. i want real help. i need real help. simple as that.

i can't eat, sleep, smile.. all i do is cry. it's not stress. i can't find any reason for these feelings. everything seems pointless now. everything in life does. i can find anything to make me happy. nothing feels real.

i hurt myself sometimes &don't want my mom to know, so i'm really afraid of asking for help. i have other reasons for being afriad, but i'm not sure what.

I WANT HELP.. I NEED HELP.. I NEED TO KNOW HOW..!

i've tried talking to my mom about this. it always turns into an argument. and she gets mad. she's never been an understanding person. she has her own troubles, i guess that's why.

Hi,

Number one try to relax as hard as that is. There are TONS! of people out there that want to help you! Dont be afraid or ashamed to ask for help beleive me Ive been there and went through it myself. There is a brighter side coming beleive me but it takes a little will power from you and the need to seek help. Millions of people experience depression so dont feel alone! Also, talk to a school counsellor or make an appointment with your doctor or seek a medical professional from your local hospital. They are all there to help you find out what is causing your depression. There are SOOO many reasons for it and beleive me you will feel releived once you seek the proper help for it :)

Also, talk to your mom or somone you are close to im sure they would be more then happy to listen to you and support you. The most important thing is to talk to those counsellors out there that are there for you!

take care, you will be fine :)

JoeSSW

Well your gonna have to ask for help, because depression is serious and it just doesn't disappear over night and not return. Talk to your mom and tell her how your feeling and do it as soon as you can.

PLEASE talk to your mom as soon as possible...tell her how you feel...if she isnt receptive which she probably will be, talk to someone you trust, like a counselor at school, your regular dr or some other adult...it sounds like bipolar with what is called "cycling" those ups and downs...i see a psychiatrist and take medication - i am bipolar...there is help for you and good luck...

Do you have any older sisters or brothers you can talk to if you don't want to tell your mom. You have to tell SOMEBODY because it will only get worse. Please don't suffer any longer with these crappy feelings. I've been there and I don't want you to feel this way!

ok since youre only 14, the first thing you need to do to get help is go to an adult (doesnt have to be a parent; maybe and aunt, friends mom, etc) who can help you get help from someone.
its great that you are realizing that you have a problem that needs fixing though, that is the first step.
stay strong

i think you should talk to your school councelor, it's private and you start the meetings by talking about college and than explain what's bothering you, she'll know what to do!