Child abuse?

i kno this is a strange question, but one that im having difficulty figuring out on my own....

how come when i was abused(physical, emotional, sexual etc.) by my mother -- she even let in people who abused me as well

but my mother, she didnt loose custody of me(she just has limited joint-for her a slap, but she could change that at anytime) In fact because of her abuse i have had alot of mental issues my whole life so far.

To this day, she STILL mentaly abuses me (on the phone, e-mails etc.)

Im 15 by the way
and i remember a few of the things that happend to me when i was a child,(I know alot more happend, im glad i dont remember most of it) and i have read my old theripsts letter about me,(all my behavioral problems even matched a neglicted and abused kid) my old theripst, even said i was abused and niglected. But the courts never took away my mothers custady..why?

leave out the god crap ok? god means nothing to me, means something to her(my mother) but nothing to me

my mother has BPD/Bipolar/skiso (sp.?)

she left me locked up in my room, let in sick/twisted people into my life and let them have their way with me, she would yell and hit me when i made noise of anykind, all she did was sleep all day, i remember also--one moment she was nice to me and the next a nasty...person! she has repeated told me that im nothing, that im bad etc.

i know her parents and her siblings where horrible to her as well, its understandable...sorta...

and i have told her to leave me alone and let me heal and learn to be happy, but she doesnt listen, she thinks that she is the perfect angel and didnt do anything wrong

my dad was there, on and off, my grandmother took me away from her, then i was passed back and forth between different family member, living with my dad for a total of 7 years....

thats all the details i would share, its personal, even if u guys have no idea who i am

I am so very sorry for what you've experienced and I wish that your situation was unique, but unfortunately it happens a lot. This is in no way meant to excuse the courts, but I think that the reason behind it is that law guardians and courts are extremely reluctant to limit or stop visitation and access to kids by their bio parents. There is a pervasive belief, no matter how wrong it is, that children always benefit from contact with a parent and I can cite case upon case where courts have referred kids to us for "family counseling" aimed at re-unification and we have turned around and recommended to the court that visitation should cease or at least be supervised as the parent's behavior was so destructive. Children truly are often very powerless in situation like these, and even therapists appointed by the court are discounted when we recommend stopping visits. At least now in most states your feelings and wishes will not be disregarded since you are 15, but that's little comfort for all the years you endured this sort of harrassment. Perhaps you could write a letter to the judge yourself about the outcome of their decision over all these years and maybe at least one judge may someday think before he sentences a child to this without really appreciating the extent and nature of the damage that sick parents inflict on their children.
You sound like a wonderfully bright and insightful kid who, despite the unfairness and the neglect and abuse you suffered, has a tremendous amount of strength. I have no doubt at all that you will survive and thrive despite your Mother's lack of remorse or accountability. You strike me as quite a remarkable young woman and I have no doubt that you will make your voice heard if your mother ever did return to court and attempt to gain custody and I think this time you'll be listened to by those in charge.
Best of luck to you!

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Truly.

It's hard saying why she still has custody over you without hearing some more details. Was foster care an option? How is dad available for you? Those kinds of things....

I'm glad to hear that you're in therapy--I hope it is helping.

<3

okay i will leave out the God crap....okay. my cousin has two little girls. she abused them also. but she could still get custody at any time! its the dumb court systems! they are so dumb seriously!!! im really sorry but the only reason i can think of her still having custody of u is cuz of the courts sometimes they dont know whats going on! i hope i helped =] &hearts

If you are still living with your mother I think you need to take action to get removed for your own good (speak to the police or other authority figure). If you are not living with her then speak to your carers as what your mother is doing is probably enough to get her custody taken away...though goodness only knows how she managed to keep it! The attitude of some courts is that a child is always best off with the mother, something which is obviously not right when serious abuse has taken place. You are old enough to speak to the court yourself. If there is a care order ask your social worker how to contest it, if they refuse tell them you want to talk to their manager,as you have a right to be heard.

I suggest that you contact you local division of Child Protective Services and report the current situation. Although, it may not necessarily do or change anything it will result in a report being made.

Having worked with abused and neglected children, I have seen the system fail miserably many times. It is in no way your fault that the abuse occurred, and the slap on the wrist is the result of incompetent and overworked staff.

I think the best thing for you to do is to severely limit or eliminate contact with your mom and seek counseling for yourself.

Take Care

Im sorry that happened to you but god will help you through things! You shouldnt call it "crap". Its kiind of hard to believe it means something to your mother after what she did. Im sorry it just offends me that you say that.

No comment, you would have gotten some great information until I read "leave out the god crap" Just tell your dad that you don't wanna see your mom, your over 13 you can make that choice!

I can't answer the custody question, but I have to tell you, I've been through that too. I was abused, physically, emotionally, and sexually. No matter what happens do not do any self harm because if you think about it, you'll see that it isn't worth it and she (your mother or whatever you want to call her) doesn't deserve getting hurt for. Just live these few years and let the day end, or you can tell your father that you don't want to stay with your mother.

i dont know. i am sorry for what happened to you - i hope for all the best for you from now on. i kind of wonder if you could SUE the courts, or child protection agencies for not doing anything.

Peace+

You are now old enough to get your own attorney. There are many who will take your case. Look in the yellow pages of the telephone book. They will guide you.

i am so sorry something so awful is happening to you. What i would do is talk to your father about what you could do. I mean your mother is in no state of mind to have any custody/visits with you. She needs to help herself before she can deal with a child. As for the court systems they suck. It really is crazy that she still has you. You really need to try and something about this. What does your therapist say as for options?? Well remember you are 15 in 3 years you can make your own choice You can move across the country and away from all of this mess

I think you are a victim of America's judicial system (which just doesn't seem to get it). I have heard cases about how restraining orders were thrown out even though there was evidence that abuse was happening between a husband and wife. So I don't see why the courts should have cared about your situation. Also, you might have been stuck if you never proved to the court that she did sexually abuse you, etc. if you stayed silent about that yourself (which is what most of the victims do), I think I can understand why the courts would grant your mother custody (since the people in the courts just don't get it, since they weren't abused).

im so sorry my dad sexually abused me
it started when i was 8 my mom caught him
they moved me out to the country i was not aloud to have friends
I MOVED OUT OF THE H-E-L-L HOLE WHEN I WAS 16
i live in Texas they live in Ohio .
its sad to say my mom hated me from that day on its been 8 months since i have talked to them ive seen them once in 26 years my kids have never seen or meet them now i have 4 grand children tough it out its not youre falt you are a good person friends [good ones] are better than family sometimes be strong ok

I am sorry, but my mother was the same way. She allowed my step father to abuse me, it wasn't until I tried to kill myself that the law got invovled, he went to jail (she stayed with him) and evetually I went to foster care. She plead guilty to abuse and neglect and I was returned to her. At that point things went from bad to worse (she kept going to see this man in jail, testified against me at his trial, saying I was a whore and that I wanted my step dad and to this day is still married to him--he went to prison for 10 years and she stuck by him and hasn't talked to me since.) She hid behind the bible saying that is says that you are not allowed to divorce, even though this was her third marriage. I never understood with all that she did why I was returned to her especially after she pleaded guilty to everything but my best friend now is a social worker and she has told me several times that the most underprotected people in this country are children and the elderly and unforntunetly it is true.