Child abuse? something i dont understand?

hi, im a 17 year old boy and i have an older brother whos 25 now. my parents divorced when i was 6, and my parents were extremely abusive. my dad was physically abusive; he would beat my brother and me everyday. from the time i was 3 years old to the time he left the house, my dad would beat me until either i couldnt see straight or until i would see red and yellow spots.

he did the same to my brother but since he's older, he suffered more abuse since my dad was still with the family while he was growing up. im going starting college in the fall but i live with my mom now. to this day she's been mentally abusive. shes extremely pessemistic and cynical and always looking at the worst case scenario. she verbally abused my brother and me everyday of our childhoods.

but now, more than 10 years later, my psychiatrist cleared me and said i have absolutely no mental problems. my brother on the other hand, is extremely clingy and insecure. he is also extremely introverted.

hes also inherited the abusive mainframe of my parents. however, i didnt.

my psychiatrist said i turned out fine without any mental illnesses or problems because i knew that what my parents were doing were wrong.

but what about my brother? how come he's like this and im not?

If you think your brother is abusive, check out the psychological concept called "Identification with the Aggressor." People deal differently with abuse. It looks like your brother had 8 more years of abuse than you did, so you want to take that into consideration. He may be introverted because people are a source of pain and he'd like to shut them out.

Your father may have been abused as a child.

It's good that you broke the cycle and you sought help. My mother was like your mother and thankfully I was able to see that she was crazy and so I turned out normal as well. Congratulations, it isn't easy. Lots of kids with backgrounds such as ours suffer through adulthood.

I suppose since your brother was the older and got more abused than you that he is sort of taking it out on his kids which is very bad. You got tell him that you can't do the same things like your father did, what does that do? You need the best for your kids. Also I am very sorry of what happened to you.

Your brother suffered through 8 more years of a living hell than you did. When you were 6 and your dad left, your brother was 14 years old.

I hope that he is able to get the help he needs to live a normal life. I wish you all the best

Hi hon...

i'm glad you are doing so well. and on the other hand, i understand how you would worry about your brother.

your brother's issues are the result of the way he was treated, and what he OBSERVED in his parents... he may be living what he learned in life, and it may not be genetics at all.

since your brother is an adult person, he is the one who needs to make the choice to change his life and learn some good, solid coping skills. of course it was NOT his fault he was treated with cruelty growing up. sometimes we don't realize this as adults.

you can urge your brother to get help... that is the best you can do.

and in the meantime, i hope you will live a healthy life. take care of YOU

Abuse affects different people in different ways.

I really don't see how you can be free of all mental problems if you were beaten, at any point in your life and for any length of time, until you "couldn't see straight". Are you in denial? I hope the best for you and for your brother, and I'm sorry for what you've gone through. Still, I hope you're not suppressing anything and creating more problems for yourself. If you're truly over everything, then I'd advise you to be there for your brother and refrain from judging him.

I will pray to God that something magically fabulous happens for you in your life.

I'm also 17 and my dad was abusive but not as bad as your parents..he was mentally [verbally and emotionally] abusive and i've suffered from depression for the past 3yrs and got psychiatric help...at least you seem to be fine

i suggest you talk to your brother before he makes the mistake his parents did cause if you won't who will ?
He took in more abuse than you did and he basically absorbed it and took it out on himself when he shouldn't be at fault...now he may take his anger out on his kids so i suggest you speak to him..and recommend psychiatric help for him..

I find it hard to believe that your "well" when you let the abusers to continue abusing you. There is more to this story than what you are letting on.

he has problems because he took the beatings the longest. you however, fortunately did not. just remember, dont bother to tell your kids you still have a mom....keep them away from her. and just rember that abuse you went through, be sure to never inflict it on them. just be strong man, seriously. rise above the drinking and smoking that goes hand in hand with college years. you're almost an adult and you can live freely soon. be sure to go to a college somewhere else...that way you're away from your crazy mom. but why didn't your therapist ever tell the cops? just, be sure to remind yourself you're really strong for keeping it intact all this time. just help out your brother when he needs to.