Any advice on child abuse?

Hi, I work with a child who has been abused in their past and this has affected thier way of being slightly. Today they said they were sad because they were not normal and that they no they are not normal, has anyone got any advice on what i say to them to reassure them and is there any specific way of treating an abused child. I know this sounds like a wierd problem but i really want to help them im just not sure of the best way to go about it - they are not v responsive to much that is said, they just get v emotional and sad at seeing thier friends upset or hurt?!
Any advice would really be appreciated.
Thanks

This website is dedicated to helping abused children and battered women. Access to free legal help, medical care, shelters, counseling ... children in the USA and UK:
www.playingtheangel.org

try getting in touch with support groups who will be able to help her,all you can do is be there for her as a shoulder to cry on,you don't always have to give advice being there is just as comforting for her.good luck

i hope this helps http://www.childline.org.uk/Childabuse.a...

x

tell them that they are not normal, they are special, they are precious and a very good friend because they don't like their friends getting hurt/upset, not many friends are like that. Also, normal is overrated. Try not to refer to the past and bad memories, as it can open up wounds again.

Could u give more details? Its really diff to suggest anthing when u dont know the details!

First of all there are diff abuses the children may be have gone through and u wont be able to help much unless u know what happeneds.

It is nice to hear what seems to be a genuine friendly person instead of the normal 'too busy to help anyone else'. The poor child needs councilling, and a good friend! It looks as though you have enough advise here to pass on. Please pass on our best wishes too. Thanks for caring.

my daughter was abused by her father...just listen,that's what we did...we let her talk and constantly reassured her..she's a survivor.

im so sad to hear of this as it happens too often. i think you need to let this child know they are not alone and it has happened to others. has he/she has proffesional counseling for everything that they have went through. maybe that would be a good first step for them realising they are just as important as the next person .i think the best thing you could do is to listen to how they feel and reassure them they are special. i hope it all works out for you and the child ,its a big burden for anyone to carry.

I can understand why they probably feel sad and secluded. It has probably stained there childhood and made them feel guilty.
There is nothing you can do really, he or she needs to accept whats happened and move on. Its a slow road to be on.
Maybe if he/she was to start up a sport, like martial arts, boxing, tie-chi. Maybe religion, whoever is going throw the problem needs to understand that there is a reason for everything in the world. Doing sports and activity releases chemicals into the brain and makes people feel more positive towards things, and helps you deal with other people a lot better. They need to move on. Its as simple as that, to much sympathy will make them pity themselves, and make the problem worse, its a hard way to live.

Constant caring and loving them. Reassurances. After time they will see that what was done to them was not normal but that they are normal.

im a phsycotherapist and i was also abused as a child, and raped when i was 16. i know how ur friend feels. at the moment, they feel like they have done something wrong, and they are to blame, they are ashamed, and thre is nothing to take that pain away, only the victim alone can help themselves, its a personal discover of where they go next, as long as they have their friends and family around them it helps, but it is up to the victim whether they want to stand strong or let the pain engulf them, sometimes, i get depressed, and want to disappear, as i feel i cannot cope with what has happened, it take time to accept life. jut hold out and b there for ur friend when they need you. its a very hard journey to make, its as if someone has trespassed into your personal space, they have violated them and tken away their individuality. all i can suggest is that your friend has time to themself and to take time to really deal with it, good luck

You need to handle this child with patience and sensitivity! This child is confused, needs help, has been violated, and may act unpredictably from time to time...Abuse takes it toll on the child's psyche, and can manifest in a number of ways--so it is extremely important that this child is nurtured, and handled very delicately!

Perhaps this site can be of help to you:
http://www.aacap.org/page.ww?name=Child+...
Best wishes to you, and bless your heart for helping a child!

They are not normal? Imo, they're normal...the situation they've gone through wasnt normal.

Imo, It's very hard for a human being... to somehow think of themselves as not-normal, for various reasons. I would let them know they ARE normal, part of the group, the human group..I think it's important to feel included.

my 2 cents

I been abuse as a child,i was about 5y to 10y old.A man abuse me for sex.No buddy new about it until i went to see a special doctor just for that,when i was 45y old and now i am 51y old.He tried to help me but good for a wild then it just came back,and it interfere with my marriage.Causing a 33y married relationship to separate.But i tell my self now why take time to think about it and lose my positive energies.I don't want to lose my positive cause the negative was in my past not now.I have been molested so why think back when its the pass.I want to put my energies in a good place now.So just tell them to start a new day positive every day.And what happen is not there fault not blame there self for what happened,and take one day at a time from now on.And there good person not bad.

I work with people who have been abused as children, and it seems that the thing they most need is someone to be there and listen, and provide safety and reassurance should they need it. However, you don't say how old this child is, or what your relationship is with them? I'd also suggest that if you aren't involved in this aspect of their care or life, then treating them normally and like any other child (and that means proper boundary-setting and no special treatment) would be the best way to go.
Some people recover well from child abuse - others less so, but having it colour every aspect of their lives isn't a good thing. It would also be good to be aware of your own reactions and feelings about child-abuse - how realistic or appropriate is it for you to "save" or "rescue" this child - and is it in their own best or long-term interests. I understand your dilemma though - if this child talks to you about their feelings of "not being normal", for instance, make sure you talk to their primary carer and get their advice on how to take this up with the child - abused children need adults to be reading from the same page as much as possible, as they often have had secrets or very different stories from adults which can confuse or worse.
Good luck.