Caregivers dealing with client suicide?

I am a caregiver who recently lost a client who was on hospice, dying of cancer. She was young. Only 43 and had 2 children. She didnt want to let her kids watch her detiriate and suffer. She shot herself when I was alone in the house with her. I had no idea she was even contemplating suicide. How do you go on and continue being a good caregiver to other people? I have very few friends and 3 children of my own. My husband is not much help right now either he is working out of town and I dont see him for weeks on end. I need a support group, friends something to get my mind off all the details of this tragic event. Any ideas?

Several thoughts, Rosie. The loss of your client, in this manner, must be both tragic and horrifying. Though it is not a stretch to understand her thought process, the violence and suddeness of her act is pretty shocking. Now, here's the thing. As a caregiver, you are attentive, sensitive and giving care to people who need extra attention. Additionally, you are mom to your children and friend and lover to your husband. As a human being you are making a difference in the world every single day, just by being you and doing these very things. As I see it, you must see your way through this and continue to help your family and clients in the special ways that only you can do. Allow yourself time to get through the shock and to process the feelings that you have and then put them away and move on. Do not allow yourself endless amounts of time to wallow in guilt or self doubt over what you could or could not have done. It will serve no purpose, but to chip away at the lovely parts of you that the other people in your life need. If someone is determined to end their lives - in the end - there is nothing you can truly do to stop them. Be at peace with the knowledge that this person is now at peace....and in spite of the means....she is no longer in pain or suffering. You are in my thoughts.

start a girl s group with the few friends that u have theyll un derstand

Almost any funeral home can put you in touch with the right people to talk to. Please try to remember that it wasn't your fault and there was nothing you could have done to prevent this. She had a plan and followed through with it. Call the funeral home. I'm sure they can help you.

I know this is traumatic for you, but so is taking care of people who are terminal. You will have to make the decision if you will be able to do this. I worked for 9.5 years in the hospital and was on a code team. I now do private home health and have taken care of clients that have expired while I was there. Though none have committed suicide I have been with them when they passed, and I did see things like this while working in the hospital while on codes. You do not say how long you have been doing this. Death is never easy, but the longer you are around it, it will either make you stronger or you will find you will not be able to deal with it. You need to stay busy, and you could also talk to the members of Hospice as they are there for you also.They are a wonderful team of caring individuals who will give support to the caregivers whether it be the family or the professionals. I wish you the best, as this field always needs loving and caring caregivers.

ask at your community health care
to see if they know any support groups out there

I can't imagine how hard that must be. Things happen that are out of your control, yet I think it is natural to have the events affect you in ways that it can sometimes be hard for others to relate to.
I am so sorry that happened to you. Honestly, I'd suggest talking to someone at a good church about it. They are wonderful! It would be good to talk through it with someone so you can process it and continue being a good mother and caregiver.

I am so sorry. You must be really hurting over this. I am sure you know this, but I am going to remind you again; suicide occurs when overwhelming circumstances override the mind's ability to cope. Your little lady was suffering, and great pain - especially when it is both physical and mental causes a person to make decisions he or she may not normally make. The only way you could have possibly known that she was thinking about suicide was if she flat out told you. She made a decision and was at peace with her decision. There was nothing you could have done to change the outcome. Maybe you should consider professional counseling though, because what you experienced is far out of the range of your normal coping mechanism. Contact your victim/witness officer at the police department as ask for a referral. Good luck.

Talk to other people about this. Do not let it fester in you, for it will eat you up emotionally if you dwell on it without talking about it. Join a group or form one of your own. If you belong to a religious group, seek them out if that makes you comfortable.

If you currently have other clients, talk to them (without mentioning info to give away the client who committed suicide). This will help give you feedback on how to continue and may help get to know your clients better.

Yes, it sounds like you need to talk this out with someone.

Sometimes just finding a willing ear can go a long way. By simply talking things out, we can see other aspects of a situation that we may not have considered before, that can help us cope.

Perhaps there is a minister, rabbi, priest, etc. that you can see and talk to. The main thing (I think) is for you to do the talking.

In the case of your client, if she had taken the time to talk more, she might have seen that her children might have wanted to share her experience with her, and been given the chance to comfort her.

Hi
Greetings 4 ur effort.U need not to worry.Just think in practical terms.
I contact u after some times.