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I am an only child (adult) and my father was diagnosed with cancer, where/who do I reach out to? |
I am in my 50's and my father is 75, he was never sick in his life. They are very confused at figuring out where the cancer began, but its already in the bladder and bone. I just need someone to talk to, cry with...........I have nobody! Sure, I have my husband and my sons and daughter. But, I feel I must be strong for them. So what do I do? I feel as if I'm holding everything in and not getting it out. He starts chemo on Monday 3/12 and has a prostrate biopsy on thursday, to be sure that the cancer didn't begin/start in the prostrate instead of the bladder. I hope someone has some options of who/where I may find some support. Donna, I really can relate I'm my mom's only child and she passed away 21years ago and I'm 34 now. My grandmother got me counseling, and as an adult I really can say it was hard to talk to a stranger but it is what helped me open up which didn't happen over night, but after I kept going and the more I talked the more I was able to relieve some of the pain. No one can possibly understand what your going through or what your feeling unless they have the same experience and even then each person deals with death differently! Going to the counselor she couldn't judge me, she had no idea what I was feeling she just listened. I still find myself getting emotional because I feel like part of me left 21years ago and I'm incomplete. Crying helps me, me time helps me, just sitting in the church and not knowing a soul but your own & GOD, helps me, memories and pictures help me, just expressing how I really feel helps. Stop holding what you feel back, just think you have 50 good years I only had 13 and this is the perfect time to still talk to your dad and your family. Your dad is still here spend every chance you can with him and your family tell him all the things you enjoyed with him, how you appreciate him. The longer you wait the harder it is to express and it may come out in anger and you don't want that. What ever your religious beliefs are take advantage of them because now that my grandmother has passed away HE is who I have to depend on, even though it's hard and people seem to get tired of the same thing holding in your feelings in isn't healthy!!!!!!!! I would contact your nearest Christian church, explain to the pastor or secretary your situation, and ask for recommendations. Then I would immediately act on the recommendations. And I'd do it soon, i.e. this weekend. I understand that you have to be strong for your family but you should really talk to your husband as he would want to console you. However, if it sometimes better talking to strangers than your own family as you do not always have to put up a wall. I suggest you find a support group in your area for persons who family members or friends suffer from cancer. They will have a better understanding of what you are going through and can also provide some insight. Also, social workers in the hospital who are specialized in talking to people regarding such matters. Personally, I had a friend who was diagnosed with a form of cancer and underwent chemo and cocktail medications. It is hard being strong for everyone all the time, keeping your emotions bottled up. I tried to release my emotions of sadness by refocusing my energy through poetry and painting. However, everyone copes differently. Anyways, these support groups are quite helpful. There are also cancer forums and chatrooms (which I cannot recommend as I have not used any, but know they are there). I am so sorry to hear about your father. I will list below many groups that are there for family/friends in the time of cancer/illness. You may be in contact with these groups via internet,chat rooms, phone, etc. |
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