Is bullying 'belittling someone and making yourself superior or more powerful'? In this story.. bully or not?

My brother made alot of belittling jokes to me, and argued with my over life and parenting decisions and made me feel embarrassed and inferior. I told him this is how I felt and please stop. My brother was rude in return and said that I can't take a joke. So I told him I and my children felt bullied and to stop or stay out of our lives. He got very angry and phoned me and was swearing and yelling. When he stopped I said a few things and he started yelling again and swearing. I listened for awhile and finally hung up. So he emailed me 'I love you and will forever. But until you get over your issues and quit creating conflict wherever you go, we will never have a normal relationship. If you can't get over the past, you will die a old, alone, and bitter woman'. I am wondering if that email is another form of bullying? It once again made me look inferior and him superior. My girlfriend thought this was more bullying, but I am not sure. So I am wondering what others opinons would be?

Your question really touched me because I've been there. I lived 20 years with an abusive sister. I was blind because I was taught that that kind of behavior was ok. Well, it isn't! I used to make excuses and defended her for years, until I actually Saw the very real, brutal repercussions. It was an awful shock and I wondered how I never recognized it!

People underestimate the damage done by bullies. They don't realize the truly destructive wound left by verbal abuse. I didn't even realize it was abuse because it wasn't physical! This kind of devastation isn't against the body鈥?it attacks the soul! It destroys the victims from within.

Like being caught by a spider, you are slowly wrapped in a web of manipulation, lies, and deceit. Once entangled, you no longer have the strength to struggle or the will to leave. Isolated from everything you love, they feed on your energy, draining you. Sounds bleak, I know, but that is how it works. People who suffer abuse have many more physical problems and illnesses. The things I鈥檝e seen鈥?Now, I鈥檓 trying my best to help prevent and heal abuses.

You see, by the time my sister was done with me, there was nothing left! She had stripped away my hopes and dreams, my pride and endurance, my friends and family鈥?the list goes on! I couldn't even stand to be seen on the street because I felt an embarrassment to my children. I ended up with a SEVERE breakdown.

I believed that I was the problem, because abusers make it look like it鈥檚 the other person. It took my children to open my eyes. My son had me listen to an Atlantis Morset song, saying it was my sister. I believe the song is called 鈥楶erfect.鈥?I had to listen several times for it to really sink in. When I realized what he was trying to tell me, it hurt deeply. But it wasn't until I caught my daughter mutilating her exquisite body that I knew I had to leave. You see, my sister鈥檚 daughter did the same thing when she was young. That鈥檚 when I knew it wasn't me. I WASN'T the main problem, like she led me to believe. She was!

A bully is NO Joke! Their cruel intentions 鈥淗 A R M!鈥?Period! As for me and my sister鈥?well, we don't speak. My other 2 sisters gave up on her too. Sad, but true. I cannot say I don't love her or miss the good times we had. But I AM so much happier and so are those who've gotten away from her. I would like to have helped her, but she couldn't hear anything negative about herself鈥? She could only point out everything wrong with me鈥?plus things that didn't even apply, things that were really HER.

I don't want to tell you to stay away from your brother. Forgiveness became necessary for My healing. Hate, anger, and resentments were harming me and my family. Still, separation became my only option after the horrible things she did. For myself and my kids, it was our only solution. Here鈥檚 a poem I wrote after leaving my sister about the power of words.


Beware the Words You Choose

.......
It鈥檚 not hollow when the bible states In the Beginning Was the Word.
Words divulge opinions and truths. They convey the abstract and absurd.
They help poets compose their poems. They can embody a friend or foe,
Enlightening a love of the passion one holds or striking a powerful blow!
.......

Beware! Oh friend, the words you use to cause one pain and sorrow.
Though they suit your needs today, you may repent them on the morrow!
The right words, chosen with care, can shatter the strongest man.
They can demolish the brightest dreams and crush the gentle lamb!

An angry tongue can change your life, a life you once enjoyed.
Once harsh words escape your lips, they can never be made void!
It may seem gratifying, at the time, to bring your love to tears,
But bitter words can pierce the heart and fester through the years.

Look intensely upon yourself; find the scars that lay thereon;
Reminders of ancient wounds, though physical pain is gone.
Look now deeply into your heart; recall when you were young.
Are there wounds that still ache from words of a hostile tongue?

Merciless, vindictive, callous words carry a deadly stinger.
Many years may pass away, but their painful wound may linger.
If this was your intent, if you're conscious of what鈥檚 inflicted,
In wounding another鈥檚 heart, you can鈥檛 escape unaffected.

Each conquest has a cost. It鈥檚 victory with a double-edged sword.
Its harsh, bittersweet taste yields a dissonant heart as reward.
Dispensing lies won鈥檛 help 鈥榗ause your heart knows the truth,
For the cold, hard reality is a brutal heart can鈥檛 be soothed.

Residue of your words clings to you, a gloom you can鈥檛 escape,
With each wound that you inflict, a darker soul takes shape.
Charity is the antidote. It brings illumination to the night.
Forgiveness. A gift one can give oneself, for with it comes respite.

Sometimes, in order to change and heal, we must leave behind things we love.... It hurts, but can be worth it. And sometimes distance Can actually bring people closer together. If you want, you can email me to discuss this.

Good Luck, Love! Report It

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/b...

read through these definitions, and if your inclinations are like min the answer is blatantly, yes it is bullying

Are you joking me?! My brothers always picked on me! it's completely normal! If you let it put you down then your weak. He's joking he's not actually serious! He's right.. if you take this so seriously you'll grow up to be bitter. You can't take everything so seriously. Bullying is when somone threatens to beat you as**.. it's coming from your brother not a stranger & he's only being a boy. There nature is to be testy and see how far they can push you. I grew up with 5 brothers & i only got along with 1. 2 of them always told me things like your a fatty.. they were oviously joking though because i was under 100 pounds.

bully! and maybe anger issues

give it some time you'll feel alright. being aggressive in certain things matters the most. whether he is bullying or not doesn't matter. you need to build a better relationship. reply to that email and explain it to him that what he did hurts you. put it across nicely. u too love him so he needs to understand this and behave right with his sis. if he loves u that means ur special. if ur special then u need to be treated special. and pls don't discouraged for all these trivial things.priority being-raising ur precious little kinds. u won't die alone-u've got ur kids. another assurance. God is there too angel.am I right?

Yes it's bullying, and controlling, and belittling. Your brother sounds like a real a**. It doesn't sound like he as a whole lot of respect for you. There's probably no chance of getting him to any kind of family counseling, but YOU could get counseling. I think it's good that you are able to rationally tell him how you feel.