In our class there is a girl who has really bad spots there like 4 times the average spot and she has these all over her face. On top of that she also has nits and as you can tell gets bullied reguraly and i am not proud to say this but i also bully her.
We are all 14/15 and we make fun off her behind her back and whenever she walks near us we sort of run out of the way making daring dives and things.
What i want to know is what sort of impact could this be causing her and what could it lead to at worse or at 'best'
Thanks
Please don't critise me like no body's business as i have admitted to bullying her and i know that i need to stop.
Thanks again Why yes i am perfect(!) obviously no
btw i don't think she'll get into 6th form as you need a B or above in your chosen subjects and she is in the bottom set for everything.
I understand your points though and btw i know that everyone bully's someone else in there life as no-one is perfect well to start you should stop it because it could cause her to lose confidence and feel really bad about it
you are just mean. if it was your son or daughter?
would you want some kid in his or her class to bully your daughter? to answer your question, ask yourself if you would like people to bully you like that? well there could be lots of stuff that could come out of this
1.might be suiside
2.She might turn emo and cut herself
3.She might murder you for bulling
Or...
1.Shell ignore you
2.Not care got to colledge and hire you for a low ranking job then fire you and tell everyone in town your not a good worker witch will cause you to be homeless
3.shell change over time and youll regret ever bulling that poor young lady well put yourself in her position. how would you like it. the girl could end up committing suicide. one just does not do things like that, as nobody ist perfect.
are you perfect!? well i dont care what u say or weather u recoine it or not that is one of the sickiest things u can do to someone i had very very bad spots on my face i felt like cr*p when people said anything about my spots u should all be ashamed of yourselves and one day i bet u she will turn out to be someone u will be so jealous good just grow up. the impact you have on her will probably never be realised.
It really depends on how she internatlises what you all do and day to her, and how deepluy it scars her own self belief.
She could be totally destroyed by it all, she could commit suicide as she amy feel trapped or become metally unwell with an eating disorder, self harm or substance abuse as a way of coping and localising her pain,
Or she could rise above it, if she has strong roots ste somewhere else- like within her family or friends who are not at school acting the way you guys all are, she could gather the stregnth and become strongewr, then it really is up to her if she suses this power and self belief for good or bad or even wastes it on you all by getting back at you.
It would be good if all stories were built like this but they are not, she is likely to still carry the scars for the rest of her life. She will carry with her the hell and the mental tourture you put her under unless she can affoprd the fees to see someone to get help correcting it. hi there,
well, you have to remember that, at your age, everyone (both boys and girls alike) are still growing, and changing...both sexes are experiencing changes in their body and skin.
this poor girl that you and your friends are making fun of is going through hormonal and biological changes that are not her fault. i think that making fun of her is doing nothing but hurting her. you are essentially judging her and making her feel like less of a person because of some things that she cannot control (don't you think that, if she could make the facial spots go away, she would?)
what you and your friends are doing is destroying her self-esteem, and making her feel as though she is less important, and less likely to be accepted, all because she is going through age-related changes. this will do nothing but hurt her very badly (if it isnt' hurting her very badly right now, although i'm certain that she is in a great deal of pain because of this...i'm also certain that she recognizes what you and your friends are doing)..
instead of bullying her and making fun of her, why not try and be her friend? there is nothing worse in the world than feeling rejected by other people...and by the way, i'm sure that both you and your friends are not perfect, physically..
why make this poor girl feel badly about herself? she's worth so much more than the spots on her face, or the "nits" that you see.
just something to think about... At least you realized that you need to stop! Imagine being in her situation, thinking that know one liked you and you didn't belong. The effects of bulling don't go away instantly. It can take year of a lifetime to recover! Instead of being part of the problem, how about you stick up for the girl! Try to be hir friend, I bet it would mean a lot to her! It's good you've realised that you need to stop. I wish you'd had the mental fortitude to do it before now.
Making someone feel horrible about themselves, cutting them off from the things everyone else enjoys, isn't a harmless bit of fun - it's cruel, sadistic, and utterly unneccessary.
What do you know about this girl? Is she an awful person? Does she kick puppies?
There are plenty of terrible people for you to sink your teeth into - you really do not need to demonise some poor child because of her looks.
Grow out of this. Make it clear to your friends that you do not find it acceptable any longer, and will not take part.
You'll probably get the p!ss taken at first - but I can more or less promise you that people will gradually come to respect you for it.
Good luck.
EDIT: for the record, there was an annoying ginger compulsive lyer at our school - universally hated. I remember, very clearly, one occasion when the whole class held a vote as to who hated him - right there, in front of his face. Everyone put their hand up, except me.
I don't say this in any self-congratulatory sense. I'm glad I didn't join in, but I'm deeply, permanently ashamed that I was too much of a coward to do more. I knew what was happening was wrong, and simply not joining in was not enough.
He's now a nurse, working with old folks, doing his own little bit to bring some good into the world. Just goes to show... It sounds like this girl's life is a living hell.
It's really great that you're actually admitting to that. It totally shows that you're a decent person
Once you guys mature a bit more, you won't feel the need to bully her so much. At least, I hope so. Hopefully you'll realize that there's more important things to do if you feel bad about what you did you should apologize to her because you don't know how your bullying could be affecting her. It could probably scar her for life and she may do things to hurt herself or even you. She may forgive you for your apology but she'll never forget what you've done to her.anyway you're in high school all of you are going to get bumps or pimples sooner or later she just so happen to get hers a little bit earlier so just give her a break it's hard enough to feel like you're not liked by your peers. I've got a story to tell you young man,
When I was in school I was fat with spots and messy hair. So as you can gather I was a geek. The popular lads never looked twice at me. Then 2 years after leaving, when I'd tamed my hair, loss the weight and cleared my skin, I was stood at the bus stop. One of the popular lads from school Tried to get my number. You can guess what I told him. The shame of his face was fantastic.
The moral of my story is, we remember the ones that hurt us. In the end your the one that looks like at jerk. This girl will already feel down about the way she looks and doesn't need the aggro.
What if that girl was you or a sibling, how would feel knowing a sibling or yourself was being treated like that.
Time you grew up, your not in the play ground anymore and what goes around comes around. What if you get bullied in college or in work? Think about it. How would you feel!? today i was speaking with an ugly girl that goes to my college on MSN and she put the webcam on... she was putting a knife to her mouth because shes so depressed and no guy likes her in a more-than-friend way, including me; a hot guy that she really likes. the girl that you speak of could be doing the same thing I have a question for you;
Let's put YOU in her place, how do you think this would affect you, long and short term? How do you think you'd feel coming to school every day and dealing with a bunch of sick little children? Would it be any wonder that you weren't succeeding?
Oh and btw, she should report you because it is against the law to be bullying anyone in public school or private school. I'll bet you didn't know that did you? You and your pathetic little friends could go to juvy, which I personally think would be totally fitting. Maybe sitting in a stinky cell for a while with some other sick little children would straighten you out pretty fast.
Don't tell me "it's nobody's business", it's mine and everyone who reads this--so deal! Wow, you did have the guts to admit your wrong doing in this situation, so I give you that. It is a horrible thing to make fun of anyone who is different from yourself, be it color, disability, etc. I was one of those kids that everyone made fun of for being overweight. It hurt. I think these types of comments stay with a person, unless that person can overcome it. I did, but when I hear kids doing that these days, I remember the taunting. I have lost weight since so many years ago, but I am still reminded. First, you are definitely having an impact on her. Secondly, this is unfortunately what people do. If you are concerned about possible problems you're causing her, just stop and put yourself in her shoes and think how you'd feel. There have been many people who have grown up severely mentally damaged, others who fight back (from your description she doesn't seem to fit this selection), and others still who have even committed suicide. Any time a person is bullied or abused it has an impact. Depending on their mental state before it all began dictates how they will turn out in the end. You really need to stop picking on her. I agree with ITRUSTU too about the fact that you're admitting your actions which is commendable. It's a first step in making things better. it will mess her up.
STOP!! I'm sure that the bullying is having an impact on her and probably in a bad way. She needs some guidance and help with her issues. I hope some adult takes her under their wing. Please don't do this to her. You know you are much more fortunate than her. Bullying in the U.S. is finally being addressed. I'm glad about that. Some kids have used guns on others when they have been so ostracized. It could be you. you guys shut up!
he said no critisiiium.
dont worry im about that age and i irespect that because we all bully. i have too ok?
we all know its wrong he even admited it was wrong so all u guys need to chill.
atleast he has enough courage to admit it.
he said sorry and crap.
im on his side.
get overr it...
(p.s. to the kid who rote this, if u need more advice ill be ur friend jsut ask for it) as someone who was constantly picked on in high school...this WILL scar her for the rest of her life! how would YOU feel if you looked different and people made fun of YOU? or bullied YOU for being different?
maybe she has problems at home. maybe her family is poor & can't get her the hygeine products she needs.
it really sucks when you're fat or you have zits or you're in a wheelchair & people make fun & bully you. it's a really sad commentary on how cruel people can be.
i commend you for admitting to bullying. that's very mature of you. just think to yourself...how would I feel if i was in her shoes? bullying her you are absolutely destroying all self confidence. she is already very self concious due to the spots and head lice, you're making her feel worse every day!
i was a bully for a long time. not in the way that you are but i used to point out peoples bad points and really make everybody around very aware of them. it is a terrible thing to do, im not criticising you in any way. it just comes down to the choices we make with friends and other things like that. they have a heavy influence in our behaviour. you might not like the sound of this but maybe you need to distance yourself from that group, at least in school. thay will in time come to appreciate the reasons hopefully. you probably wont do this so another thing i can suggest is appolagising to the girl. granted she may have swore at you but does it compare to the torrent of abuse she has recieved from you? i doubt it.
you asked what kind of affect it will be having on her. people in simular situations have contemplated suicide and some even taken steps in taking thier own life. the things she has wrong with her, her defects are things that in her mind, she can't do anything about. my advice to you is to talk to her seriously. maybe she has something to say for herself. look at her as a person with emotions and feelings, put yourself in her position.
i know i rambled on for quite a while but seriously she is hurting from all the abuse shes getting. even if she doesn't show it. oh yeah and if you do talk to her as a person and appolagise like a man then don't use that to get closer to her so that you can further your torrent of abuse. maybe stick up for her a little, let her know shes not alone in the world. thats how she is gonna be feeling so try if you can to do something about it.
you aren't obviously a milicious person and have some sort of remorse for what you're doing. show that to her with an appolagy :)
good luck with whatever you decide to do :)
xxx I have no intention of critising you, nor indeed the others who bully this girl. It's so easy to flow with the tide. You have asked what could happen at worst and I will tell you. She could take her own life as has happened in the past with other young people who have been bullied.
She may have acne or whatever the spots are caused through - that is not her fault and she cannot be blamed for that.
I do not think anything could happen at the "best" as you put it.
If you want to help this girl you could do a lot worse than by being positive and suggesting creams or whatever for her spots. As far as nits are concerned suggest to her that she gets an appropriate shampoo.
What I'm saying Thomas. is show a positive and helpful attittude to her.
People will admire you for that. Thomas, if you want to know what she's going through due to the bullying, ask her to go with you for a milkshake or whatever it is you kids drink these days, and apologise for your role in the bullying and ask her....
You'll touch her heart in ways you cannot imagine and it may go a long way to helping her heal whatever emotional wounds has been inflicted.
From the sounds of it, she probably needs a friend badly, will you be this person for her?
Also don't expect it to be easy, she may be seething with so much anger/frustration or other negative side-effects from the rejection she may not even want to know. In addition, she may think that its a ploy, a different form of attack, someone wants to get close and then rip her apart.
So if you're serious, stick with it.
The easiest way to stop bullying her, seeing as you want to stop, is to be friends with her, when you get to know her, you'll probably not even dream of being horrible to her. On the other hand, if she's mean-spirited by nature, this could be a wrong move on your part.
But you wont know unless you try. The question is, are you brave enough?
Go on, I double dare you.
ps: everyone gets their turn, and one good turn deserves another
Oh, and if you do do this, let me know how it goes.. | 