Anorexia/Bulimia questions...please help.?

For the past four years I've dealt with bulimia/anorexia. My bulimia has somehow caused me to throw up with no troubles, (just my pulling in my stomach and swallowing I can throw up...I can do this almost right in front of people in a cup and they don't even hear or see me), so it's hard to "give up" bulimia when it's become so easy to be bulimic. The downside is that most of the time when I do want to eat it feels like the food is crawling up into my throat to come out or floating around in my stomach, which is discomforting, and often it just comes up without me "making" it. Is this something that happens to most bulimics? What is it called? Thanks for helping. My other question is below...

My other question is that I'm also very restrictive in eating when I'm not throwing it up, and at times I do think about recovering and just eating a healthy 1200 calories a day, no purging...but I'm scared of gaining weight. I am vegan and I do eat very healthy foods (nothing fattening, nothing processed, basically natural, organic vegan food) and I was told that because of this I shouldn't expect to gain a lot of weight, but I still don't want to suddenly put on a ton of weight. Is there a way of recovering from anorexia/bulimia without putting on a lot weight? I want to recover but I know that if I get above a certain amount I will relapse...

Hi there...

First off, I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. With regard to your body's now "automatic" response to purge, yes, this is common in people who purge. You have physically trained your body, and your urge is, in part, coming from a "muscle memory" response... It will take time to undo. Be patient with yourself (I know, easier said then done....)

You deserve help and support. I don't know where you are located, but here are some good links to therapists who specialize in treating eating disorders:

http://www.something-fishy.org/treatment...

http://www.edreferral.com/easy_search.ht...

Good luck!

You may now have acid reflux...I have it as well after having an eating dosorder for many years. You can be put on meds for it.

As for recovery, I suggest working with a dietitian so you gain at a healthy rate and not too much so you feel you can stay in recovery.

Please, get to a professional counselor who specializes in eating disorders. This is not a "discipline" issue, or a genetic predisposition issue. There are some underlying (probably childhood) issues that your mind is attempting, on an unconscious level, to either "starve" or "purge."

The good news is that, with good therapy, you can be rid of the desire to pursue either anorexia or bulimia. If money is an issue, call a community resource, not-for-profit agency to get a referral. Just be sure it is a counselor who has had professional training in eating disorders.

I believe that you can, and will, resolve this problem. To ignore the problem will only result in some serious health issues and the continuation of your shame about this behavior. For several years I successfully counseled women with eating disorders. Good luck and God bless.

You gotta believe in yourself, and be realistic. And if you want to have a family and kids in the future and not die at 30 then you need to stop today! Do it for yourself do it for your future! :)