Why is it so hard?

I have these feelings, Depression, anxiety, paranoia, phobias, and i know i dont want to feel this way anymore, i absolutly hate it!! It's stopping me from enjoying life, my family, everything! WHY is it that i can't muster up the strength and get to the doctors? I want to, but every time i even think about picking up the phone and calling, i get this wave of horror that comes over me.
I went to the doctors for bronchitis, and i was going to say something to him about how i was feeling, I even had it all set in my head what i was going to say, but once i got there and went to speak, my heart started pounding out of my chest, and i left there only with a prescription for antibitotics because i just couldnt do it.

Anyone else ever feel this way? And how did you get over it?

Before you do anything, get out a piece of paper and a pen. Sit down and write every symptom down that you have. Print out this question also. Now you have it all on paper. Make that appointment, you have no choice it will only get worse if you don't. When you see the doctor, if you have a panic attack, just hand him the paper. He will be able to relieve the panic attack with medication so you will be able to discuss the problems you are having with him. The doctor is there to help you not to hurt you. Your biggest phobia is the stigma of having a diagnosed mental illness. There is no stigma. You will still look as normal as the next person. Your tongue won't hang out and you won't drool. In fact with the proper medications and therapies you will be able to participate in the world around you. You will lose that I am going to hide in the bedroom lifestyle you have. You will see the sun shining as something good for the first time in a long while. Even more surprising you will be able to answer a ringing phone. Just write down the info and call your doctor. Everything will be better. I promise.

I can totally sympathize with you, but unfortunately I don't have some brilliant suggestion. When I was at my worst my mom was making my appointments for me. Now I know I should be seeing a therapist, but I haven't managed to make that call. Then, when I do go to therapy half the time I can't get the words from my mind out my mouth.

That's exactly how I am. I think you're putting yourself in a panic attack. I know this because that's what I used to do.
I think to much of what can't happen. And put myself in a panic attack. If you want to talk about it. Email me..
shortstella@gmail.com

You're not alone.

You may need to tell a friend or family member and ask them to help you in seeking help.
You shouldn't let this go untreated. You're missing out on a lot of life if you do.

I totally agree with Short's comment. Anxiety and Depression can ruin your life. You don't enjoy doing things that you used to anymore. You sound like you have Anxiety/Panic attacks, yes. You need to call hon, there are doctors to help and your not calling to seek help is not helping you with your situation. Please call and maybe you can get some medication for this. You will feel a lot better, trust me... and yes, your not alone!

Sure I've felt that way.How did I get over it?
Well I had to,due to the fact that I was tired of not enjoy life,my family & knew it was time for a change!
I just couldn't live like that anymore.
I'm not trying to tell you that drugs are/were the answer,but I
was on seraquel & clonapan for a long while b/4 I was able
to take control of my life on my own!
I pray you open up to your doc & get back into life,it has so much more to offer than just sittin' at these damn computers afraid to get out into the world and meet people!
This is for you to fiVe!Merry Christmas

I have to concur with fiVe on this question.
I too suffer from the some of the same things that you've mentioned above. So much so that I can barely function in relationships with men. I feel that these other things take up too much of my life so I don't really don't have room for anyone else. I have just had to depend on God---totally depend on Him. In the meantime, I've met with counselors at my church and jobs.
So I suggest that you do the same. First, pray about it and then put some feet on your prayers. Go to a church counselor, your personal physician, or a some free counseling services available in your community.