I suffered a bereavement of someone very close in January and I am finding it very hard to cope.?

Can anyone recommend a book I could read to help get me through it?

8 years ago this week I lost my brother.He was only 20 and died in an accident. 11 days before he died, my mum died...misdiagnosed by hospital consultants. She was only 60.

To say that the bottom fell out of my world is an understatement. I died that week too.

The pain never leaves because the memories of those you love and lost never leaves. But everyday I live another day. But life without them isn't the same, it's changed and not necessary for the worse.

I live because i've learned to live without seeing them, hearing their voices and smelling their scents...Jeez my brother use to knock you over with the smell of his aftershave.
I've learnt to rely on my memories of them and they are the most precious things I have.

I wish i had a book that tells you how you will cope...but to be honest, whatever is in those books are someone elses experiences of death and dying and not yours.

You will adapt at your own speed and cope in your own ways and only you can dictate that.

Life is hard when you miss the people you love. Hopefully, if you believe, you'll see them again one day and it will be a happy meeting.

I spent some time visiting mediums and some agree and some don't but I found great solace in some of these people...some where totally fakes...but 2 I visited were the real thing...HONESTLY...you wouldn't believe how accurate these women were without me giving them ANY info at all.

You'll cope in your own way...Take care and good luck.

Sorry to hear of your loss. I don't know of any books but this website will be helpful.
www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk

Good luck, hang in there x

Hi,
I also don't know of any groups but i wanted to say i am really sorry for your loss. Try looking up breavement groups in your area..google it. I wish I could find words to give you encouragement, time doesn't always completely heal it..obviously nothing can replace a person but it will make it abit easier to cope...and i'm sure your loved one would hate to see you in pain.
Possibily go and see your doctor, he or she maybe able to refer you to a group, counsellor or even give you medication fo problems such as depression, anxiety or sleep difficulties.

One saying i was told that made me feel a little better sometimes was "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened". At the moment, it may not help you but maybe you will remember it in the upcoming times when you feel stronger and it may make you feel better.

Sorry again
x

There are zillions of books on grief and loss on Amazon. You might want to check some of those out.

"The Healing Sorrow Workbook" by Peg Elliott Mayo, LCSW. It is a workbook rather than just a book to read.

My husband does grief counseling as part of his job and runs grief counseling support groups. They can be very effective, if you find the right one. Check your local hospital or community center.

Good luck. This is such a hard process. Grieving is difficult work.

Hi, Sorry to hear of your loss. There is a site online, called velvet-hammer/grief. It is VERY good and shows you symptoms of grief/loss and the steps you must work through to actually get past the grief and not keep it bottled up. A counselor told me about this...and its a very good site. Hope you get on the path to healing soon. Take care.

Try finding this book titled:

Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul: Stories About Life, Death and Overcoming the Loss of a Loved One (Chicken Soup for the Soul) (Paperback)

Hopefully it helps you through it. May the Angels be with you in comfort & guidance, my friend.

Hi,
very sorry to hear about your loss. The Bible is a very good book (especially the New Testament) to read as God went through pain and loss too when He sent His Son to die for us so our sins could be forgiven. This is a very good website and this letter has definitely helped many people who I know http://fathersloveletter.com/flltextengl...
God bless

Its natural that you feel like you cant cope. You're still grieving.
It may take a while, but you could always see your doctor and ask for help if things get too bad.
You will start to feel better, it just takes time. Its seems so unfair when we lose someone we love, but hang on in there, sorry for the cliche, but time really is a great healer.
Let all your feelings out and dont bottle anything up, this helps.
Take care of yourself.

Winstons Wish and The Compassionate Friends are both organisations who deal with bereavment. Try www.winstonswish.org.uk and www.compassionatefriends.org
They may have useful suggestions to make

This might sound strange, but I recommend reading any book that has nothing to do with bereavement e.g. a good fiction book. It will help keep your mind off your loss, which is a good way to deal with it, especially if you are a private person who prefers to cope with this alone.
Don't push your grief totally away though, spend some time each day thinking about the person you have lost and smile at the pleasant memories you have of them, and the good times you shared. Appreciate the joy they brought to your life. Mourn them, of course, but don't let your grief consume you, that would be the last thing they would want.
Maybe consider the possibility that just because they are no longer alive in the sense you understand, doesn't mean they don't exist any more. If you are religious, be happy that they are in whatever after-life you believe in. If not, consider that we know nothing about what happens after death, and comfort yourself by imagining they are in a better place now.
And as long as they still exist in your memories, and in your heart, then they are never truly gone. In time I promise you the pain will fade. You will never forget them, but you will come out of your grief a stronger person and the one you have lost would be proud of you for that.
These thoughts and approaches have worked for me more than once, I hope they are of some help to you.

I lost my only brother AND my husband within 3 months of each other, 4 years ago. It is still very raw with you at the moment and it's something you will never get over, but the pain does ease gradually. I found "THE PROPHET" by KHALIL GIBRAN extremely helpful to me - I still do. It gave me a 'new' insight into what life (and death) is all about. It eased my mind at the time.